Darkscribes.org » Fanfiction » Eric Blair » 30 Kisses, 30 Ways » Comments
30 Kisses, 30 Ways
By Eric Blair
Genres: Drama, Romance

Comment 1. June 28, 2007 | Posted By:
Okay, first thing I want to say is that your format here is a little weird. Maybe it's just me being used to FFN, but I found it difficult to read this with no double spacing inbetween paragraphs. You might have known this, but then again it might have just been DS.

I find it much easier to read fics with spaces inbetween paragraphs, and I have a feeling other people will as well. In the end it's up to you though, I guess.

EDIT: Well, format's fixed now so I can't complain about that anymore.

Story wise it's interesting and sweet, with a good dose of sugar without there being too much. Asuka has lost her memories about Shinji during Third Impact, but gets glances at them from a sort of journal she made back in the day. She doesn't remember all about Shinji, just that she loves him. That's all she knows and all she needs to know.

That said, I did find it a little hard to understand at some points. She jumped around in her head, which did give a good sort of scatter-brained feel, if that was what you were going for, but I sort of doubt how well I understand the plot. Slowing the pace down a little bit and adding some bridges to some of her connections would help, IMO.

The connections to Misato I found really interesting. In my mind I have never quite connected them this much, though I have noted that they're sort of similar. It's a nice angle to use, and in some ways hints at the possibility of a M/S pairing...but that would be impossible .

Shinji seemed believable, for what little we see of him. Stuttering still, but developed enough to be able to risk doing that.

A/N I'm a little bit confused about. No offense, but it seemed really random. Then again, maybe it was supposed to be that way. I just couldn't understand it, possibly becaue I haven't read Re-Take. It wasn't the part with their daughter, that was actually very good, but the A/Ns themselves.

Should I have heard of Anonymous Spore?

Pros: Plot, WAFFy S/A goodness, fairly good detail, some nice connections between Asuka and Misato.

Cons: Format (not anymore), A/N randomness and a bit fast-paced/confusing in some of her thoughts.

EvSoc Reviewer: Himonky

P.S. I think I win first EvSoc review on DS .

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