Humanity Contemplations
- Volume 1:
- When Ashes Fall in June.
=========================
Together:
Don't say anything. Just listen to the sirens.
These things are sometimes obvious, much
like the coming of the demon lord. The sky is
orange, darkening. It's time to go home.
Anything Expected:
Nature sounds, listen to the rainfall as it blends.
Creating emotions. A song can make anything
trivial. A pistol cocking - infinite loop.
Colours bleed to black and white. It sounds
better that way.
A New Way:
Piece in the middle, the core is going home.
A universal concept upon which all can agree.
It's where the most damage is done.
17 - Lonely:
You wanted to show someone, but they all
said, "Show your friends." Toss your phone
into the river, and find a silent friend to
talk to, or spend time with the alien.
Find some meaning in the rain which
falls, casting ripples in the stream.
Snap! Take another photograph, so that you
have something to compare the future
with.
Early Signs of Something Unusual:
Drink tea from a painted china cup.
Commotion - nobody's talking. This could
be the end for most of us. The monsters in
white welcome you to this new machine.
Still waiting for the hand to find its place.
Stir gently. If you add sugar, your brain will
do the moonwalk. Spinning - there's no fixed
centre to the vortex.
Day Before X:
What is mattering to us?
Time is all we have.
But we don't need it, though we want it so badly.
To have things, and a life of cheap crusades.
Will humans ever realise they don't have
the answers inside?
Look at the pictures in a book.
Everything becomes pretend.
Purpose is its own reward.
Good is not. Bad becomes.
The light never runs when shadows arrive.
Listen.
Watch.
They are watching you - they are darkness incarnate.
It wasn't always this way.
There was a good time, but it was thrown away.
Will never be so again in this existence.
Something is coming.
The nightmare is forming.
The Dark Prince is waiting.
There is much emptiness.
Big things hide little deceptions.
The world is Lucifer's.
Watch the darkness ebb and wane.
Then come back even stronger than before.
Lights are locked away.
People don't want to be laughed at by
the wicked.
People cannot fight.
They don't believe Himself exists.
Himself is happy.
Himself's emotions are not understandable.
The dark kingdom is everywhere.
There is no way to destroy it.
Listen.
Watch.
Look away.
Welcome to Hell.
Where the Earth Meets the Sky:
No horizon - all is here, the sky is the new edge.
Shadows lurking in the mist and haze. Someone
will make a film about this, getting all specifics
wrong. Where is she hiding? Somewhere out
there beyond the edge? No, she's hiding in your
mind.
Cold Water, Issues:
Choose a colour, take your time. There's a clicking
of logic in your mind - that's a colour no-one's sure
even exists. She's not easy to impress, and you're
gambling with a lot. Run and dodge; it hurts to have
your throat cut.
She's using that crazy face. That girl's indestructible.
She's uncontrollable, she knows what she wants, and
you know it, also.
Moonlight, Awake:
Something is happening. The moon is shining through
the window. Not caring where she is or what she's doing.
It's her business. But, if it doesn't matter, why this
jealousy?
Smile, Your World is About to End!:
Find your way. We're waiting for the lights to change.
Keep silent, let your lips move. Blink and look to
the left or right, but watch the lady in the driver's seat.
These arguments are constant, and soon things will
come out into the open. Suspicion and a scandal,
fuelled by gossip. You're not worried, it's going to
be alright. Just keep looking sideways, but don't
stop looking at yourself.
17, Lonely II:
Deeper breaths to ease the pain of knowing.
The lights are mesmerising; the night is alive.
Still so young. A life to live, a soul's fate to decide.
Waiting for a messenger to answer this unspoken
question.
That anyone should live on old bread and a little soda.
Belonging to something - see the rows of fireflies.
Cars go passing by. In the sky a storm is forming: this time
it could be too much, and a soul will overflow - filling up the
hidden places on the floor. Then everything will be a little
different. Tiny bubbles burst - close eyes and cry.
Someone's laughing, and it's not Palahniuk.
British Rapper in Tokyo - A Ballard #1:
You say it's better, and you've still got a way to go.
But that's because you're falling faster and headed
for disaster. The fun is over - now it's time to face
the music. God was watching, though you said said he
wasn't there.
So pray, so pray; your lives don't really matter anyway.
You saw a lot of falseness, and you were somewhat unconvinced.
But, now everything's uncertain, and it's too late for someone.
Marking off each milestone, you said, "We're creating history."
But the future that you were working for could never exist.
And with all this talk of human rights, you are shown
up hypocrites. Content in all your selfishness - whilst
millions of innocents die.
You blame it on the good of heart, like a man who smashes
mirrors because they show him how he really is - unsightly
and unclean.
And where will you find the answers?
Where will you stand as the prophecies are turned to ashes?
Where will you look as another life is thrown away?
And how will you feel when you have to lose your life in vain?
Many people have nothing to rely on - no-one to show the way.
The truth can be offensive, but someone has to say it.
Because without it there is nothing.
And think of the people who know there's something more to life.
This town seems so depressing, because everything's the same.
People who gave everything to bring about good change, they
are now forgotten by the descendants of the ones they saved.
People saw a miracle - the parting of the red sea.
Now, every moment's spent denying all of history.
And your trying to make life in your test-tube.
Though you're getting no-where, you'll never stop trying.
Because it's in your nature to try to do the ultimate.
There's a metaphor in everything, this town's daily swirling
mist and fog.
You're crazy, you're lazy, and I don't think you'll run if
you're told what is coming to take you away.
My fellow men...this isn't sayanora, we'll never meet again.
We are going separate ways. Goodbye.
Rare Incident:
Floating with the earth's rotation; won't leave the edges of
this town. There's something in my head. Floating, unconcerned.
If people see me? I'll decide then.
Everything Attempted:
Hit those drums, sing that song; if you don't attempt,
you won't succeed. Swing and hit the ball, don't lose your
concentration. Don't get egoistic, just be happy that you've won.
Too much water kills a growing plant - the leaves turn brown
before winter, potential dies.
Or, you could...read the news, eat thicker slices of bread.
And if anyone speaks to you, you will turn away and murmur,
"Thank you." It's not always a bad thing, but, if you can't awake
from it, then you might stay that way forever. Or, at least until
you die. But, don't let them possess you, for sometimes they are
much more wrong than you are.
Be a little optimistic, you've still got something of a family. It's
one of the few things which will last to the end. Mother, father,
daughter, son. Even the shakiest is superior to none. Hold firmly to
what you have, making decisions as the times come.
Ultimate Truth:
Man without God is a tragic thing.
They stand in the hot sun, hoping for forgiveness for their sins.
As their lives are lived, a sense of hopelessness emerges.
How will they know if no-one tells them?
Jesus is not some new thing, but you kept it to yourselves
as though it was a secret.
They know they're sinners - that's why they're standing there,
dying slowly. But you think you're so pure and holy, though
the Christ said, "there is none good." It would be better
if you were broken and humble, because they'll be seeing
paradise before you ever do.
One is coming who will lead them on the narrow path towards
salvation. But you will be twisted, and haters of holiness.
You will call him a fanatic when he speaks to you.
In time, everything will turn to vapor; but truth will remain.
Unusual Thing from Enforcer Crystal Dawn, of SACA:
Hey, Girl! Mysterious one, who thinks she's superior to all who
surround. Time brings healing, time brings decay. Time won't
tune a guitar. You're a lot like me, though there is visible
hope for you. But, if I didn't know better, I'd call you
Lucifer's mistress. I'm disappointed, because I would
expect some insight from an alien. You haveve no real
advantages, just a smarmy personality. The question is:
are you good, or do you just play nicely, like some familiar
spirit? Everything you say deceives, even though your logic's
flawless. You're good and you're bad...no way for normal
people to know which is the real you. I'll be seeing you
around....
Yesterday's Reality:
Where are the times when it seemed we were complete?
That girl, she takes a piece from everyone - now there's no way
back. The memories seem impossible - it's as though life began
that day. You've helped her burn a piece inside you, and together
you are watching the flames.
Musings:
Wisdom, knowledge, cunning. Dark sayings.
Is there value here? Worth? What will they find here?
They argue over what is right and wrong, with no light to
understand these things by. They are given a
dark illumination.
People will worship a speaker of trivial things. And when
they are rebuked, they say:
"Entertain us! Sing a lovely song!"
Tear your clothes, pour ashes on your head, and cry bitterly
at the foolishness of man.
Nippon decays, the years pass, seasons marking the passing time.
A dark cloud has descended over all. Spates of twisted
violence - beyond human imagination. Beauty fading, lies
spreading. The leaders of the nations gather, forming wicked
plans.
Will there is found good in the people? After one's passing,
the significance is clearer. It is death which gives this
life perspective.
Speed Dangerous:
Wheels touching the road; you're learning not to be frightened.
It's trust versus danger, hope against the fear of falling. Save
the words for another time. Don't complain - just watch the
scenes flash by like the days of your life.
17, Lonely III:
These are the days you while away, not really concerned about
what is expected of you. You see so much to be sad about - life
is made worse by the lies they want to teach you. It makes you
weary, but you're still interested in real answers. In another
place, where less people walk deluded, you will find someone who
will listen to your quiet thoughts. They seem so close minded
here, so much it makes you cry sometimes - when you sit here,
lonely, and are looked at by strangers with cruelty in their eyes.
Inside Some Place:
In this place of big windows there are no doors. I'm still not
certain as to how I got in. It's raining outside. It seems it's
always raining here, but I'm not complaining. Lightning will
flash as evening comes; directions will change with the dawning
sun. Mission is vague, so much it makes me look as though I'm
always talking to myself. A millisecond was seen, but I wasn't
compromised. Even if I was, it's not as though I couldn't have
talked my way out.
17, Lonely IV:
Long time spent waiting. Violins playing tragically. Liquid
memories, plans which turn to dust. It's so difficult to keep
a hold on. She just wanted to find contentment. Light another
cigarette, walk in no particular direction. Why are those girls
so cruel to her? Far from perfection, she doesn't demand
anything. However, a change is happening, and all might soon
wish they had treated her better.
Friend, Different Size:
Can you keep a secret to yourself? Would you spread the things
you hear around? Are these drinks that good for you? Mine tastes
like it's sweetened artificially. It's nice to be invited over,
or at least not asked to leave. When I sit down next to you, you
act so much like Jinto.
Alone, Very Alone:
It is so desolate here.
I could have been king.
Millions would have screamed my
name, but with "sama" on the end.
I could have been ruler of everything,
but I chose instead to be honest.
I cannot pander to their delusions; so
here is where my dream has come to end.
Protagonist Contester:
They are talking, laughing, eating. She's telling funny
stories. What you're currently doing is called 'sour grapes'.
Just because she's older than you, more of an idiot than you,
and owns a motorcycle, unlike you - doesn't mean you have a
reason to sit and whinge endlessly to yourself.
Build an Altar, or a Shrine:
Tongues of flame, music setting mood. Who we are, we can't
disclose, but we've something for you--
You are acting so sincerely, wanting what was implied you
could get.
Burn it as a sacrifice, until only ashes and charred wood
remain. The past won't go away, it's an echo undefinable.
You act so sincerely, seeking reconciliation through a
god's kiss.
You don't need it anymore? Came all this way to give back
what was thought you had lost.
It's about to explode. You will be amazed. This is bigger
than you ever imagined - you'll never forget this day.
"Click! Click!" With every "click" a spurt of flame, like
a spray of rain through an open window.
You are oh, so very sincere - so much, even we feel a little
sorrowful for you, and all like you. There's a single way to
unlock true happiness. Everyone can try their best, but random
guesses aren't enough. Fu, fu, you will have to discover it
yourself - we must not be telling you, for Himself
would be most displeased with us....
What They Say, You Are?:
Mysterious Brain, science is bemused.
Smashed Tissue, silent mind. There's nothing on your scan.
Science has declared that you are brainless, and therefore
a vegetable. They tell you to close your mouth, stop kicking,
and stop arguing.
Science has decreed it, therefore it is true - this is the
new 'truth'. Your skull is emptiness, but filled with something
which cannot be described.
"Morning, freak!" The hamsters are blown apart by the
explosive, in-a-bigger-bottle shampoo.
"You, brainless one: sign the dotted line." Use the
black pen - the blue one is out of berry-flavoured ink.
She might come and save you. Smash and destroy, making that
keyboard a metaphor for the human brain. No matter how many
keys are broken off, the typist is no less intelligent.
Moment 484,699,379,536:
Soaring over endless fields, the sky is filled with wonders.
Waterfalls - their droplets evaporating to join the others
in the heavens again. Broken ice melting in the winter sun.
Impossible images cast in the icy haze. Freezing to death,
it seems the white will never end. At the end of the earth.
There is no trace of other creation, here man takes centre
stage.
Seized by shimmering delusions, as this place's enormity
grows. A mere coloured speck in the vastness of snow.
The ice which kills is the water which quenches thirst.
There was a time...oh, there's no point. Life is fading
rapidly, becoming a motionless fixture to this landscape.
Closer to God.
The Coming:
The dragonfly motionless, its life drained away. Tangled
and twisted, this is not pretend. Heat rising from the
earth; ripples of death. Spinning through space, standing
perfectly still. A toothpick ablaze, it falls and sets
the floor alight. Fires fed by the cool breeze. Everything
is burnt and turns to dust.
Watch the rains approaching in the evening stillness.
Before a week has passed, people will be calling for
flames. Never grateful, grace is ordinary to them.
Wet tissue paper dipped in wax will not burn - it splutters
and resists. If Himself should come and walk among them,
they will call to him and say:
"Night has fallen, and we want someone to light our way.
We are neck deep in our hopelessness. It would be most
appreciated if you would help us and guide us. Look! There
are the corpses of those who spoke against you, powerful one.
We will be your loyal subjects."
Himself shall look upon them and smile.
Valentine's Day:
There was a time when we thought and talked of 'Reason's Age'.
But one day we learned that human hearts are nothing like
we imagined them to be.
It'll all be quiet this Valentine's Day - we'll be able to
rest for a while.
We'll build ourselves some paper dragons, and hope that
good times lie ahead.
Valentines Day - the cameras are filming, the anthems are
playing, and no-one considers what has just been signed
away.
It is so quiet this Valentine's Day. And it's hard to believe
that nothing has changed.
Misheard Refrain:
I dig deep to give as much as I am to you. We found the
ancient signs and test of prayer. A demon is crying,
"Our truth!" We are all just beautiful fools, and
you will all fight over this.
Region X?:
It's time to shoot the translator.
You were entrusted with an important thing,
and you did not take good care of it.
It's time to kill a victim of circumstance.
Shame to shoot the translator.
Just an unappreciated stepping-stone.
It's 11 pm., Thursday night.
Songs obscured in the static.
Time to shoot the translator.
Closing Ambiguity:
Don't parachute in thoughtless chains. Hello, you orange,
undecided, rashful, terrestrial entity! New times today.
Over water; avoid rhetorical, dire situations.
Simple oven. Don't overcook mushrooms.
========================
Robert-33
(Ver-Gold, October 2008)
========================
Humanity Contemplations - Volume 2:
When it all falls apart:
(1) Not what you think:
Ashes lightly falling on the landscape of a dream.
Flowers watered silently by tears.
What I see, you do not see; that is the difference
between you and me.
Shake a fist so angrily. When the night comes, you
will see. But you'll never repay what you did to me.
I just...I just wanted to be good! To turn my back
on all the wicked things and live the way my life
was meant to be.
You thought your lies could bury me. But the truth
will bury you, not me. I've tasted firsthand your selfish
idea of free.
So I'm turning away. Finding out the hard way what
bravery truly means.
I was you, but you're not me. When the world comes
tumbling down, you'll pass the blame and crucify me.
(2) Thaw:
One day you'll discover what this means. Ice shelfs
formed five thousand years ago are joining with the sea.
It doesn't matter what we say, it doesn't matter. A fool
thinks that his is the power to save humanity.
It's good to do something, don't think I don't care.
But when the outcome defies your expectations will
you come and say you're sorry? Just a thought.
But this is all an elaborate plan. For damnation you
would scream if you knew what's in store for you.
A message from above never finds the world in love.
Palin told you what you didn't want to hear. From your
lips came hate and fear. But my dear children, I hate to
admit it, but the end? It is near.
(3) Millionth Victim:
More than died in all the wars.
I tried all my life to be more than I was. To push
back the reminders in all seriousness. I'm insanely
ambitious, and don't stand a chance...but neither do
you.
You're dead from the shot, but I'm not laughing
at you. I'll comfort your mother and give your father
sympathetic words. But I won't cry.
Because I haven't cried in years. My lips haven't
tasted tears of sorrow falling from repentant eyes.
Something inside me is dead, but there's a chance
it's soon to rise again.
I'm insanely ambitious, and don't stand a chance.
Now's too late for penitence for you. Sorry! Should
have tried harder - a slap in the face, a scream in the
dark. I was polite, and now you're very, very dead.
(4) Madhouse:
I, ego, my sense of self.
These days the lights of reason live behind a shade.
They are said insane. They search for fissures in
the brain, while the victims are given deadly drugs to
block the pain.
You have no idea how close to the edge you stumble.
You deny the demons, the voices, and the chance to
escape from this torment.
But you are just dancing to an ancient tune. You
cannot see the evil which lets a man bend a spoon.
You cannot see the warning signs in the little girl child.
For this is a game which is older than you. The nightmares
which open hidden pathways to the soul.
Now I'm in the straitjacket, joining the throng - though
you know in your heart it is you who is wrong.
(5) When it all falls apart:
The moment when I hiss and curse, when the dream
becomes too real. And I begin to feel a pain which takes
the life away from bleeding, tortured shadows of humanity.
The needle kisses silently, and it's so much better for
the fishes, and so much worse for me.
The me you see, you will not see. I'll waste away so
elegantly. All the while a victim of my own elaborate
scheme.
You thought I was an actor, but I'm more than that,
you see. Though I'm chained, I am still free. I am for
you the dawning light of misery. There is the window,
there is the end: will it cure all the guilt that you feel?
Robert-33 - April 2009.
Eva Verses - Minimal Concept:
1 - (Stand. Walk. Fall Down. Die.):
It's so cold, but the world is growing brighter.
The transmission is soon to end. (Keep your eyes on the glove in the storm.)
This is a sign of things to come. (Once it comes, it comes again.)
They are going to lie about this. (What did you expect - the truth?)
This time it will be digital; touch the fire, remain unburned. (But I feel it, I feel it! Oh, the ice, it burns!)
2 - (War in the Pacific):
Feeling over sandy places with sensitive hands. The scars are not on them. (They are on the sands.)
This is not a simulation. (The lies, the fears; the architects of your benefit.)
Today is one of many. People die everyday, and saviors made are villains yet to me.
3 - (Organic Humanoid):
The oxygen we rely upon. We are victims of our own design.
But it's not so bad. The world is a beautiful place. It always starts with observation, then comes the desire to control.
4 - (Concept I):
The outside was so intricate, but inside was just a shell.
A stubborn heart always finds the bitter words to say.
Hope I find you again, so I can clarify where we parted.
Too long, too up and out of reach of little more than flesh and blood.
The reason is why. Stand among the tall, tall trees. A forest lit with blood-red lights. A river of tears. Better to cry than to bleed.
6 - (Concept II):
This is where the failures lie. Torn, malformed, and forgotten.
Their malice still survives. They will rise up, live, and watch you meet your end.
7 - (Knowledgeable Fools):
Cover over all the signs. White is not so obvious. Picture frames of human flesh, tied together with years of lies. The deception is deeper than your mind.
Under all the piles of filth, a clock ticks slowly and uncertainly.
If the light were touching everything the stars would not been seen. And the galleries of mysteries would hide themselves from human eyes.
8 - (Concept III):
This is complicated, but you're convinced you understand. You and all the slowly changing minds. The dogmas have solidified. Make those ill informed decisions as the truth is led away in chains.
Feel the overwhelming heat. It makes the wax flow vertically. Tonight the wind is moving through the land. Fall down, say a prayer. Think your way to victory. We will never end our work, because of what we have become. We are more arrogant than anyone who came before.
9 - (On Edge With Maternal Substitute, Crying By Self):
It is a day. You watch it, the emotions well up. The words you wanted to hear. It's over, but there's no satisfaction.
Standing on the overlook, at the limits of sanity. It's sure to have a deeper cause; torment goes beyond the seen.
And if you should break apart, someone will applaud and call a toast. Would like to freeze the motion of the sun in the sky?
10 - (What Does It Matter?):
Ran from the shadows, am hiding in the light. A click, a snap, a pounding drum.
The truth is more than fiction. It makes the circle fit within the square. Talk with all the people here. They and them who hide when I sent to die.
It's like a falling satellite - burning up whilst falling from the sky.
The fall won't kill me. I'll be dead before I touch the ground. Everyone will gather round. (And never speak my name again.)
Keep it short. Ninety seconds is long enough to change the world. It's long enough to live, and it's long enough to turn and find that nothing left you, nothing died. All you saw were mere recalls of people wanting you to feel the earth before you have to touch the sky. Once you go and see the end, there's nothing left to say.
12 - (Bloody Borealis):
Let's find out how far we can push the limits of our pitiful existence. Stand your ground without the help of moonlight.
Rear your head and scream in majesty. Make the atoms quake with fear. Touch the substance of the night. Hate and devotion blending and becoming one.
It could become a game of guilt and shame. Become the thing you once despised, and were all of that time.
13 - (Terminus I):
Hide. It's worse than you realise. It's just not original. So you're hiding, hoping it won't find you, rip you into countless pieces and take your breath away.
14 - (Terminus II):
Three. Last. Days. Of. Our. Lives.
Free! Fighting for a life to live, a screw that won't come loose inside this memory of mine! A day gone by, you're still wondering why I find it hard to justify the way I live my life! Open your eyes, close your mind and smell the burning lies! This is like that dream of mine when I awake in Hell! And everyone around me says, 'You fool of fools, you joke among us! Your facade is now unkempt! All your lies will now betray you; the truth will speak from your possessions, every word and every moment, all the things you've done and said! Who will cover all your lies?'
And it doesn't matter! Just a dream! Take a weapon, make them bleed! Like the wild geese, a mercenary mentality; no betrothed to draw your eyes, obscured in the smoke and haze - beaten body, bruised and torn, finding out that melted plastic isn't fun!
And you know how they say, 'there are worse things than death?' They lied! They lied! They provided a moment of solace as you gouged out your eyes! What a surprise! Now the reaper is calling, and he doesn't want tea! He wants a reason to leave but they won't let him be! The newborn, the old, the wise and the fools - a plan of revision, a way to be free! He knows that it's tricky, but he'll play along. For this is the final unification!
15 - (Neo-Concept):
It seems so perfect. Breath forming clouds, yet it's early in the year. There are no trees for leaves to fall from. And I wonder if I made it right? If my heart is any calmer? Am I alone to walk this beach? If I was the worst, now the best is the worst. A concert for you, and a concert for me. Come take my hand and I'll tell you a story, as we walk though the valleys they said couldn't exist in the time they have formed. If happy is just a state of mind, does any of this mean anything? Will wishful imaginings make them any less dead? Will a teardrop of sadness make life in the ashes? Or is it just foolish to try?
Was this our doing, or we parts of a play? Where are the actors on this decaying stage? Come, dance with me and make my heart forget the pain and sorrow, all the things I've done and said. And I'll try my best to sing my song for you.
=========
Robert-33
=========
(ver. Gold - July 2009)
Epilogue:
Minimal Concept was intended to be return to form for me, in a way. I personally felt that my work was becoming almost purposeless. Maybe my appraisal is wrong, and maybe I'm just giving into pressure. It is true that time does not heal, time decays; that time seems to heal our memories is a mere and macabre illusion, because our memories become so damaged that we no longer recall how bad it was back then. It's strange that people can both forget how bad things were of old, yet also forget the things about the old which were indeed good. Only a fool would believe that the today is inherently better than the old, but also a fool is he who thinks that the past is inherently better than today. Sometimes there is no difference.
Some may have realised it, but given how useless men are at finding the truth of matters, I will make it clear: Minimal Concept was not entirely written in July 2009. It is the ressurection of the unreleased eighth volume of 'the Eva Verses', a somewhat inconsistent in quality collection of writings I wrote between May 2008 and December of that same year. True, a good portion of Minimal Concept was written July 2009, but the framework of the work was completed seven months earlier. Since I have no intention of releasing the original draft, simply titled, 'the Eva Verses - Minimal Concept' you will have to be satisfied with this version, which in my opinion is better, but by which fixed standard I draw this conclusion I myself am uncertain.