Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is the creation of Anno and Gainax. I don’t own it, make no claims to it, and am making no profit from the fan fiction. No infringement of copyright is intended. In other words, please don’t sue.

Disclaimer: Birdy the Mighty is the creation of Masami Yuuki. I don’t own it, make no claims to it, and am making no profit from the fan fiction. No infringement of copyright is intended. In other words, please don’t sue.  

Prologue: Shinji’s Bad Day

            “What a day,” Shinji groaned to no one in particular, his head hung low and his school bag slung over his shoulder as he slowly treaded home. “What a day…”

            The universe had seemed even more intent on ruining him today than usual. It was the first Sunday since he and Asuka had managed to destroy the Seventh Angel, and Shinji had been looking forward to some well deserved rest.

            Unfortunately, Misato and the Tokyo-3 public school system had had other plans.

            Since he and Asuka had both missed nearly two weeks worth of classes while they had done their synchronization training, their teacher had “generously” offered to come into school and spend the day tutoring the two of them to help them get caught up. Misato had thought this was an excellent idea and had ordered them to go.

            Asuka had, in true Asuka fashion, proclaimed that there was no need for her to go and had skipped the tutoring session. She’d probably spent the day at the mall or something.

            Shinji’s conscience wouldn’t quite allow him to follow suit (their teacher was willingly sacrificing his day off, too, after all), and even if it had, he simply didn’t have the nerve to play hooky from a private tutoring session, much as he would have liked to. So he’d gone and made some muddled excuse for Asuka’s absence to the Sensei.

            And then he had entered hell.

            While the Sensei had actually covered useful subjects such as math and science for the first hours or so, he’d quickly lapsed into his favorite activity: rambling on and on about Second Impact and reminiscing aloud about what the world had been like before it.

            During school days, the bell could be counted on to eventually stop the man, and Shinji, being just one among several students, could get away with dozing. Neither of those things were true for this private study session, and by the time Shinji was finally released, the sun had set long ago and he was fervently wishing he’d followed Asuka’s example and skipped.

            “What a day,” Shinji said again. The words were quickly becoming a new mantra of his.

            Of course, it wasn’t over yet. He had missed the bus that would have taken him back to the apartment, which was why he was currently hoofing it toward home.

            “Hope Misato and Asuka don’t mind that I wasn’t there to cook dinner,” he muttered to himself. “What a day. Well, at least nothing else could possibly go wrong today.”

            Had Shinji been a little less wiped out, he might have realized the extent to which he’d just jinxed himself. And had he been a little more observant, he probably would have realized that the brief flares of orange light he was seeing were caused by a series of small explosions that were in the distance behind him.

            The world around her blurred as she ran in search of her target. He had been a wily one, there was no denying that. She had almost had him half a dozen times in the course of her investigation, but each and every time he’d given her the slip.

            Now, though, the trail ended here. He was reduced to fleeing from her on foot and occasionally launching his feeble attacks at her. It was pathetic really, but she’d long ago stopped expecting the criminals to just give up when it was clear they’d lost.

            She had no idea why he’d come to this backwater—there were better places to hide by far out there—but she didn’t care. All she cared about was that soon, Geega would be in her custody.

            And Geega could lead her to Christella Revi, the one she really wanted to bust.

            Smiling, Birdy Cephon Altera leapt from the sidewalk onto the room of a two story building. She looked around and quickly spotted her prey standing on the street below.

            Before she could react, he had sent a blast of energy flying at the building she was perched upon. Birdy immediately leapt to the rooftop of a neighboring structure, landing just as the energy blast struck its target and most of the first building’s second floor was consumed by an orange ball of fire.

            Birdy looked down at the street again but this time didn’t catch sight of Geega. Scowling, she leapt back down to the ground and took off in the direction he’d most likely gone off in, determined not to allow him to slink away this time.

            Shinji was just minding his business when it happened, really.

            In a narrow and fairly isolated walkway that was almost, but not quite, within view of the apartment building where he lived, a man ran into him, very nearly knocking him over.

            “I’m sorry,” Shinji said once had regained his balance, even though the guy had been the one to run into him.

            The man stared dumbly at Shinji for a moment, and the Third Child took the opportunity to get a look at him. He was perhaps in his early forties, with olive skin, short black hair, and a wholly unremarkable (if rather unfortunate) face. He was dressed in a business suit and had a coat over that, despite how warm the evening was.

            “Please! Help me!” the man exclaimed, abruptly regaining the power of speech. “You must help me!”

            “Help you?” Shinji echoed stupidly.

            He was about to take a step back, but the man suddenly grabbed his shoulders and drew him in closer than Shinji was comfortable with, forcing the Third Child to look into his obviously panicked face.

            “You gotta help me escape!” the man said. “A…a monster! A monster’s coming after me!”

            A monster? Shinji thought, his eyes widening.

            There was, so far as he knew, only one kind of monster that plagued the city of Tokyo-3. And while he hadn’t seen any ten story tall beasts running around lately, Dr. Akagi had once said that the monsters NERV had been created to slay were likely to come in all shapes and sizes, and that the only thing they were certain to all have in common was that they would all be incredibly deadly. It was possible a new one had just arrived, and that it was small enough that not everyone within ten kilometers could easily see it.

            “Is it an Angel?” he asked, voice barely more than a whisper.

            “Uh, yeah! Must be!” the man said, nodding rapidly. “You gotta hide me! It’s trying to kill me!”

            Shinji sighed slightly. There was little he could hope to do against an Angel without his EVA, yet as a member of NERV, he still felt obligated to try and do something to help this poor guy.

            “Follow me,” Shinji said, coming to a decision.

            He broke into a jog, heading back the way he’d come, and the man followed him, sputtering words of thanks. The Third Child didn’t exactly know where he was going; he wasn’t very familiar with the city yet, save for the few parts of it that he had to venture to regularly. However, he was fairly confidant that he wouldn’t need to find a phenomenal hiding place. He couldn’t imagine an Angel pursuing one specific person for very long, unless, of course, that person happened to be an EVA pilot, which this guy wasn’t.

            Soon, the two of them were crowding into a small, dead end bit of alley that was wedged between a pair of old buildings and settling down to wait for the threat to pass.

            Within twenty seconds, it became very obvious to Shinji that his impromptu companion couldn’t keep still. The man fidgeted with extreme agitation, kept constantly peeking out of their little hiding place, and started at small noises.

            Looking at him, it finally occurred to the Third Child, who’d been about to take out his cell phone so he could call NERV and alert them of the Angel, that perhaps there was no monster at all. Perhaps this guy was just crazy.

            It would figure that I’d run into some random nut, with the way my day’s been going, Shinji thought sourly, suddenly wondering where his Section Two detail was.

            Alas, Shinji hadn’t seen hide nor hair of NERV’s secret police since he’d gone into the school that morning, and he suspected they hadn’t noticed when he’d left the building. It seemed like the sort of thing Section Two—which only ever seemed to be around when Shinji didn’t want them to be—would do.

            “Hey,” Shinji spoke up tentatively, “are you sure that—”

            His carefully worded inquiry was cut off as a metal beam suddenly came falling out of the sky toward them. Shinji’s eyes widened until they were practically bugging out of his skull. He froze up, his mind instantly flashing back to the last time he’d faced such a threat, back when he had first been brought to NERV.

            This time he was saved by his strange companion, rather than by the giant hand of a biomechanical engine of death. The guy grabbed Shinji’s arm and dragged him out of the alleyway with him before he took off running.

            Knocked out of his momentary paralysis, Shinji quickly fell in step behind the guy as they ran, neither caring where they went so long as it was away from there.

            It has to be an Angel! Shinji thought, a new wave of panic rushing through him. What else could possibly do that?!

            The man abruptly stopped after perhaps a minute of sprinting, catching sight of something that Shinji couldn’t see in the darkness. The Third Child saw this and he halted as well, panting.

            Then something Shinji never could have seen coming happened.

            Yellow eyes that were at least the size of a man’s fist opened on either side of the guy’s neck, which seemed to lengthen and expand until it was almost as long as the rest of him. A great jaw full of deadly, spike like teeth opened just below the yellow eyes.

            Shinji backed away fearfully as the creature’s neck bulged grotesquely, like that of a frog, some kind of light illuminating it from within.

            The creature opened its mouth, and with a great gasping sound, it fired a blast of blue light outward into the darkness, causing Shinji to release a strangled sounding yelp of fear.

            The energy blast struck a parked car, instantly creating an explosion and setting the vehicle aflame. Shinji squinted as the harsh orange light flooded his eyes, which had been adjusted to the darkness, but he was now able to make out the silhouette of a…woman?

            “Give it up, Geega,” the mystery woman said. “It’s over.”

            Shinji turned back to look at the man (apparently Geega), who was indeed a man again, the bizarre transformation he’d undergone having reversed itself in the few seconds the Third Child wasn’t looking at him.

            Quick as lightning, Geega’s arms shot out, one hand clamping down hard on Shinji’s mouth, and the other grabbing him around the waist. Shinji struggled frantically, but he couldn’t break of this thing’s hold, nor could he utter a single sound.

            Geega leapt from the ground to a second story window ledge on a nearby building with one jump, carrying a terrified Shinji with him.

            “Birdy!” Geega shouted, causing the woman to turn sharply in his direction.

            Then he released Shinji and have give him a savage push, sending the Third Child falling toward the woman.

            Shinji flailed his arms and legs uselessly about in the air as he fell. The Third Child tried to scream, but an icy hand had clamped down on his lungs, stilling his voice.

            Then the woman reached out, just as he was about to fall onto her, and her hands came into contact with his chest. Jagged blue tongues of electricity arced off her hands and then flooded his body, and now he did scream, agonized shrieks bursting forth from him as he fried.

            Birdy abruptly realized that this wasn’t Geega and stopped her assault, but it was too late. Shinji’s eyes had rolled back into his head until only the whites were visible. The boy gave the occasional spasm but otherwise did not move.

            He also wasn’t breathing.

            “Birdy!” Geega called, and she looked back up at him, hate burning in her blue eyes as she quickly worked out what exactly had just happened.

            “Geega,” she hissed.

            “It looks like you killed a human, Birdy!” Geega taunted. “We’ll meet again!”

            Geega rushed off, and Birdy was sorely tempted to pursue as she watched him leave, and her best chance at getting to Revi with him. However, she turned back to look at the poor boy she was holding and all thoughts of continuing the chase tonight vanished.

            When Shinji started coming around, the first thing he realized was that his entire body was submerged in liquid. For a moment, he thought that he might be inside of EVA or a test plug, that perhaps he’d fallen asleep after a test or was waking up after being knocked unconscious in battle.

            He soon realized that this wasn’t the case, however, because he couldn’t smell blood. There was no way he was in LCL and not smelling blood.

            Where am I, then? He wondered dimly. Is this a dream?

            The question actually seemed rather unimportant now that he actually thought about it. Wherever he was, it was comfortable. It was soothingly dark, and the mystery liquid he was submerged in was quite warm. He felt at peace with himself, for once.

            Maybe I’ll never wake up, Shinji mused, a rare smile spreading across his face, and he was completely oblivious to how macabre his wistful thought really was.

            Then, voices impinged upon his moment of quiet serenity.

            “It was unavoidable!” a female voice exclaimed. “When Geega—”

            “I’m not interested in excuses,” another voice answered, firm but level. This new voice was obviously masculine and quite deep. “You have made a grievous error, Birdy. Now, you must atone for it.”

            “No way!” Birdy protested. “I don’t want to be stuck with this puny human!”

            Puny human? Shinji thought, his smile morphing into a smirk. Must be talking about me.

            “Hurry!” the male voice said. “Your window of opportunity will soon close! Go!”

            “I’m really not sure about this,” Birdy said, though her tone was one of resignation rather than protest.

            A great light appeared above Shinji, and he soon saw a small, dark shape against it. It grew steadily larger as it came closer, and Shinji placid expression shifted into one of shock as he realized it was the girl he’d seen earlier, the one who’d been pursuing Geega.

            He opened his mouth to release a cry as she reached out for him, and—

            “Wake up, baka!”

            Shinji sat bolt upright in bed, going from a dead sleep to complete wakefulness in less than a second. He was panting hard, covered in sweat, and his heart was pounding. Someone was banging rather insistently on his door.

            Ignoring this for a moment, he stared at his hands at a second, quietly reeling.

            “Was it all a dream?” he whispered to himself, brief flickers of the previous night flashing through his mind.

            “Baka!” Asuka shouted through the door. “Get your lazy butt up and cook breakfast, or Misato might decide to do it!”

            Shinji turned slightly green at this prospect. “I’m coming!” he called, and the pounding on his door stopped.

            He quickly slid out of bed and started getting ready to face the day. Surely, it couldn’t be any worse than the previous one.

            However, before he left his room, the Third Child took a moment to inspect himself. There were no burn marks on his chest, nor were there any other injuries on any other part of his body.

            He shook his head. “It must have all been some kind of crazy dream,” he muttered to himself as he left his room, headed for the kitchen.

            Shinji wouldn’t discover just how wrong he was until later.

Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is the creation of Anno and Gainax. I don’t own it, make no claims to it, and am making no profit from the fan fiction. No infringement of copyright is intended. In other words, please don’t sue.

Disclaimer: Birdy the Mighty is the creation of Masami Yuuki. I don’t own it, make no claims to it, and am making no profit from the fan fiction. No infringement of copyright is intended. In other words, please don’t sue.

Chapter One: Revelations

            “Well, it took you long enough to get moving,” Asuka commented as Shinji finally emerged from his bedroom.

            For a moment, Shinji considered snapping back that she was the one who most often needed to be roused in the mornings, and it was hardly a crime if he slept in every now and then. However, he found himself with too much good judgment and not enough nerve to make such a comment, as always.

            “I’m sorry,” he said instead. “I’ll go cook breakfast.”

            Asuka responded with a satisfied nod and then walked off, presumably heading for the bathroom to take a shower. Shinji allowed himself a quick, guilty look at her legs, which were mostly left exposed by the oversized T-shirt she’d worn to bed, before he headed for the kitchen.

            “Good morning, Shinji-kun,” Misato greeted him cheerfully from her place at the kitchen table. “My, you’re up later than usual.”

            “I, uh, must have been tired from having to study all day yesterday,” Shinji replied, still feeling somewhat out of it.

            “Hmm, Asuka woke up bright and early, and she needs much less excuse than you do to sleep in,” Misato said as Shinji set the frying pan on the stove and broke a few eggs into it.

            The Third Child’s eyebrows went up, and he focused his gaze on the eggs, glad for the excuse not to look at Misato. Asuka, it seemed, had somehow managed to make Misato believe she’d attended the tutoring session yesterday. How was able to do this, he had no idea, since Misato was nowhere near dense enough to believe Asuka had gone if she’d returned to the apartment earlier than he had.

            Then again, for all he knew, Asuka had somehow managed to return at the same time as he had.

            Shinji frowned and tried to grasp at the memories he seemed to be missing. What he got were a series of seemingly random scraps.

            An explosion and a wave of heat coming from it.

            The wind whipping about him as he flew through the air, trapped in someone’s iron grip.

            Darkness and tranquility.

            A completely nude girl descending toward him while he was immersed in some kind of liquid?

            The Third Child shook his head slightly, dispelling the memories. They felt so hazy and dream-like that he wasn’t at all sure that any of them had actually happened.

            “Well, I guess it’s true what they say,” Misato mused aloud, fully pulling him from his thoughts. “Women really do have more stamina than men.”

            Shinji frowned in confusion, not immediately taking in the implications of that particular statement.

            Then it hit him.

            “M-Misato!” he sputtered, flushing crimson. “Nothing like that happened!”

            “I know,” Misato giggled. “I was just teasing you.”

            Shinji sighed in a long suffering sort of way. “I wish you wouldn’t.”

         Thanks to his relatively late start, Shinji didn’t have time for any breakfast aside from a piece of toast that he grabbed on his way out of the apartment. Despite this rather inauspicious beginning, however, the day proceeded normally, and was thus better than the previous one by leaps and bounds.

            Indeed, fate was apparently being kind to him to make up for yesterday, because not only did he have no tests at NERV that afternoon, but he also got the apartment to himself after school. Misato had paperwork to catch up on and had gone to NERV, and Asuka had gone to the mall with Hikari.

            “And Shinji gets to enjoy a little peace and quiet,” the Third Child said with a rare sigh of contentment as he lowered himself onto the couch.

            “Wark!”

            Shinji looked down to see the apartment’s resident water fowl sitting next to him. The Third Child put his SDAT on, then began to pet Pen-Pen on the head with one hand and pressed the button to start his tape playing with the other. He lay back and closed his eyes, the very picture of relaxation.

            Hey!

            “Ahh!” Shinji exclaimed in shock, jumping almost a foot in the air.

            “Wark!” Pen-Pen squawked indignantly.

            “Who said that?!” Shinji demanded, looking around wildly but seeing no sign of the woman he’d just heard speaking.

            You’re an excitable one, aren’t you? The woman asked in a voice that Shinji found strangely familiar, then sighed. Why do I have to be stuck with such a jumpy little human?

            “Where are you?” Shinji snapped, jumping to his feet and whirling about as he scanned the apartment.

            Watching all of this, and hearing only Shinji’s side of the conversation, Pen-Pen sweat dropped and then slowly backed away from the Third Child before making a break for the sanctuary of his fridge. Shinji didn’t even notice him leave.

            Geeze, you really are dense, aren’t you? The woman asked, sounding exasperated. I’m inside you!

            This caused Shinji to stop short in his frantic searching. “In-inside of me?” he stuttered. “How is that possible?”

            It’s a long story, the woman replied, suddenly sounding rather apologetic. Let’s go. Everything will be explained to you when we get there.

            Suddenly, Shinji’s legs began to move, carrying him toward the door without any kind of command from his brain. The Third Child cried out, understandably finding this sensation incredibly unsettling, and struggled futilely to retake control of his body.

            “Stop this!” Shinji yelled, waving his arms about, if only because he still seemed to have control of them. “You can’t do this to me!”

            Sorry, but this is the best way of making the situation clear to you, trust me.

            “Trust you? Why should I trust you?!” Shinji demanded.

            Well, you don’t have much of a choice, for one, the woman replied dryly. Second, because seeing is believing, and I don’t think you’ll be able to swallow this otherwise.

            “I can swallow a lot right now!” Shinji continued to protest, flailing about and trying fruitlessly to grab onto something to stop his feet from taking him out of the apartment.

            Not this.

            “You can’t do this to me!” Shinji yelled, even as he was forced out the door against his will.

            Soon afterwards, he found himself leaving the apartment building and stepping out onto the sidewalk. Shinji very reluctantly ceased his struggling against the woman who was apparently controlling his body. Section Two watched the apartment building whenever he or Asuka was home, he knew. However, the Section Two guys usually didn’t pay enough attention to realize when he left unless he or Misato called them and told them as much beforehand.

            Of course, if he made enough of a spectacle of himself by struggling, then not even Section Two could fail to notice him. And if there was one thing Shinji had learned since coming to Tokyo-3, it was that Section Two never improved a situation.

            Ever.

            Good, the woman said as he started to assist in the task of getting himself to wherever it was she wanted him to go. This will all go more easily if you just go along with it.

            Infuriated, Shinji nearly snapped that this wasn’t the reason he’d stopped fighting at all. Instead, he just let out a sigh as his anger rapidly morphed into resignation. There was no way of preventing this from happening that he could see.

            “This had better be worth it,” he grumbled.

            Oh, it is, she assured him.

            A few minutes of jogging brought him to the seedier, more run down part of the city, where Rei lived. Fortunately, his wayward feet brought him nowhere near the First Child’s apartment building, but instead to a junkyard filled with old cars that were good for nothing but scrap metal. Shinji walked up to a particularly high stack of junked cars, and his feet finally stopped moving.

            Climb into the red one.

            Shinji shrugged and began gingerly picking his way up the pile, heading for the sole red car in it. The presence in his mind seemed somehow surprised that he was following the strange request without questioning it.

            Obviously, she either couldn’t scan his memories or had opted not to do so, Shinji thought. Otherwise, she would have realized that being asked to get into an old car that was laying in a scrap heap wouldn’t have thrown him for a loop.

            Once you’re told to climb into the giant purple robot you’ve never seen before and have no idea how to operate, it’s kind of hard to phase you with weird commands alone, he had learned.

            “Okay,” Shinji said as sat down in the front passenger seat. “Now what?”

            His head turned to the right, almost as if invisible hands had gripped it and forced it to do so, and Shinji’s eyes widened at what he saw. Instead of another car door and the remains of another used up automobile, he found himself looking at a very strange, circular door that was embedded into some kind of white metal…thing.

            Suddenly, the door opened with a hiss of hydraulics, and Shinji felt himself being pulled forward. He let out a cry and tried to resist, but it was useless. The Third Child was rapidly sucked into the entry chute and fell onto the floor below in an undignified heap a few seconds later.

            “Ugh,” Shinji groaned as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. “What the…?”

            He trailed off as he looked around the large, dim chamber. It was a mostly empty room, with only a few pieces of furniture and equipment scattered around. Near one wall was some kind of command console and a chair, and in a corner was of glass pod, the use of which Shinji couldn’t even guess at.

            Shinji hadn’t watched very many sci-fi shows in his day, but he couldn’t help but think of those he had seen as he took in the room.

            Then there was a humming sound and a flash of light. Shinji quickly jerked his head in the direction of a large alcove in the wall, where both were coming from.

            He let out a cry of fright as a man-size figure that looked like a purple cockroach wearing black robes materialized within it and quickly scooted backwards until his back was pressed against the wall.

            “Oh god!” Shinji exclaimed, thinking that of all the possible ways he might have died, being eaten by a giant bug was probably the one he’d expected the least.

            Then, to his amazement, the giant insect spoke.

            “Greetings, Shinji Ikari,” the bug said in a deep voice that Shinji found was oddly familiar. “I apologize for frightening you. It was not my intent.”

            “Oh, th-that’s okay,” Shinji said weakly, more out of reflex than anything else.

            The giant insect inclined its head slightly in what might have been a tiny bow before it continued. “My name is Inspector Megius of the Space Federation, and I am transmitting this hologram from many light years away, in order that I may explain matters to you personally. Now, young Shinji Ikari, you must listen carefully to me.”

            Shinji just nodded dumbly.

            “Last night, one of my subordinates dealt you a fatal injury while pursuing a dangerous criminal,” Megius explained. “Behold.”

            Lights within the glass pod suddenly switched on, illuminating its interior. Shinji slowly stood and approached it warily. “No…” he breathed as he looked upon its contents. “No, it’s impossible…”

            Lying within the pod was…him. Or at least, someone that looked so much like him that even he couldn’t tell the difference. This Shinji had been stripped to his boxers, and there were great, gruesome looking burns on his thin chest. His skin had taken on a gray, extremely unhealthy looking pallor.

            “I realize this is not something that is easy to forgive. So, in order to preserve your life, your mind and soul were transferred into the body of the Federation officer responsible for the injuries you sustained,” Megius explained.

            A two dimensional window popped up before the hologram of Megius, showing the woman that Shinji had had such an unfortunate encounter with the other night, causing more flashes of memory to come rushing to the fore of his mind. She was tall, with a lithe, attractive figure that was nicely displayed by the blue and white leotard she wore, which somehow managed to be both backless and low cut without falling off of her.

            Superior alien technology, Shinji supposed.

            The young woman also wore knee high boots, one blue and one white, as well as gloves which went all the way to her shoulders, also one blue and one white. Her most striking feature was her long hair. The half on the right side was pink, while the half on the left side was a pure white.

            In different circumstances, Shinji might have secretly thought this young woman was cute.

            “This is Birdy Cephon Altera, an Ichis-class Altarian humanoid,” Megius said. “Her species shares a great number of physiological similarities with your own, and we have altered her molecular structure so that she may transform into a perfect duplicate of your own body. Your day to day life will not change.”

            Shinji stared silently down at his hands. Perfect duplicate is right, he thought. I never even would have suspected if Birdy had kept quiet.

            “When Birdy is able to leave planet Earth, you will return to the Space Federation, and we will attempt to restore your body to health, so that you may occupy it once more,” Megius said. “In the meantime, it will remain in stasis. We can only hope that you will cooperate with our investigation. Farewell, Shinji Ikari, and please, take care of Birdy.”

            “Take care of Birdy?” Shinji echoed softly, as the hologram faded and was gone.

            Abruptly, a small laser that was attached to the ceiling fired, striking Shinji’s hand harmlessly. A second later, a bracelet with a triangular device attached to it materialized on his wrist where the laser had hit.

            “What’s this?” Shinji asked.

            It’s a modulator, to keep your clothes from being torn when we change, Birdy answered.

            “Change?” Shinji asked.

            As if in answer, his hand began to shift, the fingers becoming longer, more graceful, and covered by a white glove. The transformation swept over his arm and then across the rest of his body. Shinji felt the strangest sensation of being pushed back into the recesses of his own mind, and a second later, Birdy rose to her feet, all visible signs of Shinji Ikari having disappeared.

            “I will capture Christella Revi on this planet,” Birdy said solemnly. “Please, I’m going to need your cooperation.”

            The Federation officer than fell silent, waiting for a response from her new “partner.” She fervently hoped he would agree to help her, but at the same time, she braced herself for the very possible storm of fury.

            What she got instead was dead silence.

            “Shinji?” Birdy asked after a few seconds.

            …

            “Shinji?” Birdy said again, then groaned, “you didn’t faint, did you?”

            …

            Birdy growled, then raised her in and sent it rushing toward her own cheek for an open palmed slap. However, she relinquished control of their shared body a second before her hand connected, causing it to change back into Shinji’s likeness.

            The result was that the Third Child smacked himself in the face.

            “Ow!” Shinji exclaimed, rubbing his now stinging cheek.

            Sorry, Birdy said, not exactly sounding contrite. But you were kind of out of it there.

            “That’s, uh, okay,” Shinji said, and moved his hand to rub his eyes, a pained look not caused by the slap Birdy had made him give himself appeared on his face.

            The Third Child paused for a moment, trying to collect his whirling thoughts, the sighed. “All right, let me see if I have all this straight,” he said. “You’re an alien.”

            Yup.

            “And you accidentally killed me last night,” he said.

            Well, since you’re not dead, I didn’t really kill you, Birdy pointed out defensively. But, basically, yeah.

            “And to keep me from actually dying, you somehow transferred me into your body,” Shinji.

            Yeah.

            “And now we can sort of switch back and forth,” Shinji said. “We can be you or me at any time.”

            Bingo, Birdy confirmed. You’re a pretty bright kid.

            There was at least a hint of sarcasm there, but Shinji automatically thanked her for the compliment and continued. “So now you want me to go along with you when you go chasing after the alien bad guy you were pursuing when you accidentally killed me.”

            Well, alien bad guys to be precise, Birdy corrected. There’s more than one on this planet, and he’s not really the one I’m after. Geega’s actually pretty small time. I just wanted to catch him because he can lead me to Revi.

            “Okay, but I pretty much have it right?” Shinji asked.

            Yeah, Birdy said. So, will you cooperate with me as I do my investigation?

            Shinji’s answer was a snicker.

            Shinji? Birdy asked, clearly taken aback by this.

            The Third Child didn’t reply. Instead, he snickered again, and again. Soon his snickers had become chuckles, which morphed into giggles, and then full fledged laughter that echoed within the confines of Birdy’s space ship. Tears began to pour down Shinji’s face, and his legs soon buckled. He felt no pain as he landed on the metal floor, and began to roll around and beat his fists on the floor as his guffaws increased in volume.

            Oh god, he’s snapped! Birdy thought, wondering how she could hope to complete her mission if she had to share a body with a crazy person. Should I make him slap himself again?

            The Third Child might have kept laughing until he really did lose his mind, but it was the echo that snapped him out of it. It allowed him to hear how truly insane his cackling was starting to sound, and he realized that he had to stop. Shinji somehow began to get himself under control.

            Shinji? Birdy spoke up again, once his gales of laughter had ebbed to a few infrequent chortles.

            “Only to me. Only, only to me,” Shinji commented to no one in particular, and one more giggle escaped him before he finally addressed his new companion. “Listen, Birdy, I don’t want to burden you, but I don’t think you understand my situation. I can’t just go with you to fight…space criminals whenever you want. People watch me all the time, or at least, they’re supposed to. And if they find out what’s happened to me, well, I don’t think it’ll be good for either of us. I’ll be lucky if I don’t have to make up some excuse to explain my absence from the apartment later.”

            People watch you? Birdy asked, obviously incredulous.

            Shinji nodded. “Yes. Look, why don’t you get us out of here? I need to show you something to make my situation clear to you.”

            The Third Child couldn’t quite keep a hint of maliciousness out of his voice as he finished that statement, and Birdy couldn’t help but feel a tiny prick of apprehension as she agreed.

            “I’m telling you, Gomez, I can’t identify him!” Geega exclaimed, exasperated.

            The alien was back in his human disguise, and seated at a table in a rather small room. Spread out in front of him were pictures of all the male middle and high school students in the city.

            Standing on the other side of the table was a tall man with blond hair and a thin, dark mustache. He was an extremely large man who always seemed to be wearing sunglasses, which only served to enhance his already formidable presence.

            “Try, Geega,” Gomez said flatly. “Revi-sama is due to arrive in Japan soon. I want to have the Federation officer neutralized by then.”

            “I don’t see how it could help even if I could identify the brat,” Geega said petulantly. “He’s dead! I saw the Fed kill him.”

            “There have been no reports of a mysteriously murdered teenager in the local media,” Gomez said levelly. “Nor of any disappearances. Therefore, we can only conclude she saved him somehow, and if that is the case, it’s possible he could lead us to her.”

            “I can’t identify him!” Geega repeated. “These damn humans all look the same to me! I can barely tell the males from the females! If not for the uniform the kid was wearing, I wouldn’t even be able to tell he was a student!”

            “Geega,” Gomez said, not the slightest hint of emotion in his voice, “I don’t have to remind you that you are the one responsible for the Federation officer tracking us to this planet.”

            Geega stiffened.

            “Personally, in light of the previous services you’ve provided, I’m inclined to overlook your recent string of misfortunes,” Gomez continued. “However, I’m not the one who makes those decisions. Revi-sama is, and she tends to be less merciful than I am.”

            Gomez headed for the door and placed his hand on the knob. “I suggest you do your very best to identify the boy before she gets here.”

            With that, the big man departed, leaving Geega alone with his ominous statements hanging in air. Geega sighed and turned back to the series of photographs, though he held no real hope that he’d be able to accomplish anything by it.

           Shinji and Birdy both kept silent as the train descended into the ground, speeding into the Geofront. The Third Child was brooding over this new, unbelievable situation he’d found himself in on top of being a pilot. Birdy was just waiting with unusual patience borne out of a reluctance to further stress her new partner. She wasn’t at all sure that he wouldn’t go completely crazy with more provocation; for that matter, she wasn’t entirely certain he hadn’t gone completely crazy already.

            Then the train emerged from the dark tunnel into the main cavern of the Geofront. Shinji, out of habit, turned to look out at the skyscraper-like weapons blocks which hung down from the ceiling, since there was no battle occurring at present.

            Woah! Birdy exclaimed. Your people built this?

            The Third Child looked around the car before making a reply. Fortunately, it wasn’t time for the base’s day shift to leave or for its night shift to come in, so he had the whole car to himself.

            “Yeah,” Shinji said. “I mean, I guess so. Who else could have built it?”

            You’d be surprised, Birdy commented cryptically. Still, I’m impressed. I wouldn’t expect to see anything quite like this on such a primitive world.

            Shinji chuckled weakly, realizing he should probably take some kind of offense at this slight against his entire planet but not quite having the will for it.

            “Hey, do I have to speak aloud to you?” Shinji asked. “Can’t we communicate telepathically or something?”

            Not without our minds fusing into one, Birdy replied. You’ll just have to learn to speak softly.

            “Oh,” was Shinji’s only response.

            The Third Child found himself actually relieved by this knowledge. Sure, it would be a pain to have to always speak aloud whenever he wanted to tell Birdy something, and he’d have to be careful, lest people see him talking to the air and think he’d gone completely bonkers. However, if he couldn’t even speak silently with Birdy, then there was no way she could read his mind, the possibility of which had been worrying him.

             A few minutes later, the train had taken them to the great pyramidal building that lay roughly in the center of the Geofront floor, and Shinji was swiping his card through the reader that would open the doors.

            What is this place? Birdy asked as he walked inside.

            “The special agency NERV,” Shinji answered softly.

            He hoped that if anyone caught him muttering to himself in this manner, they’d just assume he was being deep in introspection.

            Then again, he had no idea whether he regularly came off as the deep, brooding type or as a pathetic kid who might or might not have a few screws loose, so he counted himself lucky that no one was around to hear him.

            The Third Child made his way to the EVA cages, with Birdy remaining silent. At least, until he actually arrived at his destination.

            What the hell are those things?! She exclaimed in shock.

            Shinji couldn’t keep a small smirk off his face, but the gravity of his current, bizarre situation soon caused it to melt away. He looked around, seeing no one nearby.

            “They’re called Evangelions,” Shinji said. “NERV built them to fight these monsters called Angels that are attacking us. I pilot the one that’s in the middle.”

            B-but why do they have you piloting one of those things!? Birdy demanded. You’re a kid!

            “Only kids can pilot EVA,” he answered. “And only a few kids at that. I don’t know why. That’s just the way it is.”

            That’s insane!

            “Maybe,” Shinji said, “but it’s our only means of survival.”

            Birdy was silent at this information for a long moment, apparently digesting this information.

            I guess things are going to be more complicated than I expected, she said.

            “Yeah,” Shinji agreed, not bothering to point out that this was about the biggest understatement of the century.

            You know, Birdy said after a few moments of silence, there’s something kind of…familiar about those things.

            Shinji frowned. “Familiar? Have you seen Evangelions on another world or something?” he asked.

            No, Birdy said. I’m sure I’d remember it if I ever encountered something like one of those things. But still, I feel like I’ve seen or heard of something similar. I just can’t remember.

            “Well, if something comes to you, please let me know,” Shinji said. “I wouldn’t mind knowing more about what EVA really is, that’s for sure.”

            Sure thing, Birdy agreed.

            “So, do you understand why I have people watching me all the time now?” he asked, getting back to addressing the reason he’d come here.

            Yes, Birdy said, then seemed at a loss for further words.

            His task completed, the Third Child headed to an elevator that would take him back to where he could board another train and return to the city. He found Lieutenant Aoba already inside the car when he entered.

            “Hello, Shinji. I didn’t think you had any tests today,” Aoba commented with mild surprise.

            “Oh, I didn’t. I…left something here and came back to get it,” Shinji lied, rather lamely.

            “Oh,” Aoba replied with a shrug.

            Silence reigned in the elevator for the next several seconds, broken only by the repetitive clicking of the counter.

            So, Birdy spoke up abruptly, how did you get stuck with the purple robot?

            “What?!” Shinji snapped, offended at the slight against his EVA despite himself.

            “I didn’t say anything, Shinji,” Aoba said, clearly confused. “Are you feeling all right?”

            Mercifully, the elevator reached the floor Shinji wanted just then, and the doors opening with a ping.

            “Must’ve been my imagination,” Shinji said quickly “See you later, Aoba-san.”

            With that, the Third Child made a hasty retreat, practically sprinting out of the elevator, down the hall, around a corner, and out of sight.

            Aoba sighed as the elevator doors slid closed again. “Is it too much to ask for one of the pilots to be normal?” he mumbled to himself.

            Stop being such an idiot and get in already! Birdy snapped.

            Shinji just blushed in response.

            After leaving NERV headquarters and returning the apartment, the evening had gone about as smoothly as Shinji could have hoped for. Birdy had kept quiet most of the time, offering only the occasional comment. Neither Misato nor Asuka had noticed anything unusual about him, or at least, if they had, they hadn’t said anything.

            Which was good, because if they had, Shinji might have immediately informed them that he was most certainly not currently sharing a body with an alien from outer space.

            So, dinner had gone well, but now Shinji was facing a new situation, namely bath time.

            “Um, can you close your eyes?” Shinji asked as he stared down at the full tub, still fully dressed.

            My eyes are your eyes, Birdy responded. If yours are open, then so are mine.

            “Oh,” Shinji said, hesitating as he wondered if he could effectively bathe while blind.

            Look, we’re going to be together for a while, so you have to get used to this, Birdy said reasonably.

            Shinji still couldn’t quite bring himself to move.

            If you don’t get undressed and get in, I’m going to switch with you and do it. I wouldn’t mind a bath, Birdy said, running out of patience, a commodity the Federation officer had never had in abundance anyway.

            The very thought of watching as Birdy bathed caused Shinji to break out into a fresh blush, and the Third Child reluctantly began to disrobe, soon sliding into the tub.

            “Ahh…” he breathed as the warm water enveloped him and began to relax him.

            The bath apparently had a similar soothing effect on Birdy, because when she spoke again, there was no trace of her previous annoyance in her voice.

            So, it seems like you’ve got it pretty tough, huh?

            A small, rueful smile appeared on Shinji’s face. As embarrassing as having a girl inside his head while he washed was, he had to admit that it was nice to have someone to talk to; it kept his mind from drifting to things he’d rather not think about.

            “Yeah, I guess so,” he answered.

            Shinji, Birdy said, after a brief moment of silence, I understand that you’ve got your own responsibilities, but I can’t just abandon my search for Christella Revi. Besides, we can’t leave this world to see about getting your body repaired until the situation here resolves itself, one way or another, and capturing her it the best way of making that happen. Also, if she’s allowed to run around unchecked, it could have terrible consequences for this city, or maybe even the entire planet.

            Shinji sighed. Between his duties at NERV, school, and fighting the never ending battle to keep the apartment presentable, he led a very busy life. However, it wasn’t like he was occupied every second of every day. If he needed to sacrifice what little free time he was able to come by in order to get his real body back, then there was nothing to be done for it, unfortunately.

            “I understand,” Shinji said. “We can…work something out, I guess. Section Two is pretty bad at keeping track of me, so unless we do something stupid, I don’t think they’ll ever discover us. But you can’t just body snatch me whenever you feel like it.” He added firmly.

            Okay, Birdy agreed. And…thanks.

            Shinji smiled. “Welcome,” he said, allowing himself to slide a little further into the bathtub until his nose was just above the water.

            He wanted to relax while he could, because he had a strong suspicion that things were only going to get more insane in the future.

            Poor Shinji. He didn’t know the half of it.     

Author’s Notes: This chapter was mainly “housekeeping” to get everybody, including Shinji, up to speed on what exactly has befallen the hapless Third Child now. The fun will, hopefully, begin in earnest next chapter.

I realize that Shinji’s response to discovering his new situation might have come off as a bit OOC, but really, I think that if something like this happens to a person, on top of the kind of crap Shinji already has to deal with, they’re going to become hysterical no matter who they are. This isn’t the kind of thing that would push Shinji into a blind rage, and it’s way too early in the timeline for it to cause him to break down crying, so hysterical laughter seemed the best way to go. Keep in mind, it’s the kind of laughter you do because you have to or you’ll totally lose it.

Fans of the Birdy the Mighty OVA will note that the second fight with Geega did not occur on schedule. This is because that encounter allowed Gomez to discover what had happened to Birdy. I want to keep Shinji’s identity and fate a secret from Revi and her underlings for a good while yet. Besides, much as I liked Birdy the Mighty, it bugged me how the bad guys had this knowledge almost from the get go, then used it to try and get at Birdy through Tsutomu a grand total of once, and near the end at that. I intend to resolve this and a couple of other issues here.

As always, thanks to my readers and reviewers. Now for some fun!

Omakes!

Unfair

            “Shinji?” Birdy asked after a few seconds.

            …

            “Shinji?” Birdy said again, then groaned, “you didn’t faint, did you?”

            …

            Birdy growled, then raised her in and sent it rushing toward her own cheek for an open palmed slap. However, she relinquished control of their shared body a second before her hand connected, causing it to change back into Shinji’s likeness.

            The result was that the Third Child smacked himself in the face.

            “Ow!” Shinji exclaimed, rubbing his now stinging cheek.

            Hey, that was pretty fun! Birdy commented. I think I’ll do it again!

            Shinji’s hand abruptly smacked him in the face again, seemingly of its own accord.

            Smack!

            “Hey! Stop that!” he demanded.

            But it’s such great stress relief! Birdy chuckled, forcing him to hit himself twice more.

            Smack! Smack!

            “Ouch! Damn it, God, what did I ever do to deserve this?!” Shinji cried.

            There was a rather pregnant pause.

            “Oh, killing your Angels,” Shinji said. “Right…”

            Smack!

Patterns

            “Um, can you close your eyes?” Shinji asked as he stared down at the full tub, still fully dressed.

            My eyes are your eyes, Birdy responded. If yours are open, then so are mine.

            “Oh,” Shinji said, hesitating as he wondered if he could effectively bathe while blind.

            Look, we’re going to be together for a while, so you have to get used to this, Birdy said reasonably.

            Shinji still couldn’t quite bring himself to move.

            If you don’t get undressed and get in, I’m going to switch with you and do it. I wouldn’t mind a bath, Birdy said, running out of patience, a commodity the Federation officer had never had in abundance anyway.

            “Woah, really? That would be awesome!” Shinji exclaimed. “Now, make sure to take extra care when washing your brea—”

            Smack!

            Shinji rubbed at the red, seemingly self-inflicted hand-shaped mark on his face. “I am beginning to see a pattern emerging here,” he said, giving a rather meaningful look in the direction of the fourth wall and the author he knew dwelled behind it. “I don’t like it.”

True Self

            It’s a modulator, to keep your clothes from being torn when we change, Birdy answered.

            “Change?” Shinji asked.

            As if in answer, his hand began to shift, the fingers becoming longer, more graceful, and covered by a white glove. The transformation swept over his arm and then across the rest of his body. Shinji felt the strangest sensation of being pushed back into the recesses of his own mind, and a second later, Birdy rose to her feet, all visible signs of Shinji Ikari having disappeared.

            “I will capture Christella Revi on this planet,” Birdy said solemnly. “Please, I’m going to need your cooperation.”

            The Federation officer then fell silent, waiting for a response from her new “partner.”

            Oh god, Shinji breathed.

            “I know it’s a lot to take in,” Birdy said. “But—”

            This is wonderful! Shinji exclaimed.

            “What?” Birdy asked, incredulous.

            This is, like, the way I always thought I looked on the inside, you know? Shinji gushed. And now I look that way on the outside, too!

            Birdy face faulted. “I don’t think I like this development…”

Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is the creation of Anno and Gainax. I don’t own it, make no claims to it, and am making no profit from the fan fiction. No infringement of copyright is intended. In other words, please don’t sue.

Disclaimer: Birdy the Mighty is the creation of Masami Yuuki. I don’t own it, make no claims to it, and am making no profit from the fan fiction. No infringement of copyright is intended. In other words, please don’t sue.

Chapter Two: First Brawl

            For most people, there are two things in life which are absolutely certain: death and taxes. For an Evangelion pilot, there were three things: death, taxes, and sync tests.

            So for Shinji Ikari, sync tests had long ago become routine, but he was extremely nervous all the same. This was, after all, going to be his first time taking one while he had another person inside his head.

            “What are you so jittery about, Third Child?” Asuka asked as the pilots made their way to the test plugs.

            “I’m not jittery, Asuka,” Shinji replied, perhaps a little too defensively.

            Asuka frowned. The Second Child was always on the lookout for ways to prove that the ‘Invincible Shinji’ wasn’t half the pilot everyone seemed to believe he was. However, even in her perpetual eagerness, she still couldn’t credit the idea that he was seriously sweating a sync test, so she dropped the subject.

            The three EVA pilots entered the test plugs, which then quickly filled with LCL. After the Children had each taken their first, unpleasant breaths of the stuff, the professional (and nearly clinical) voice of Dr. Akagi filled the test plugs.

            “Synchronization test is scheduled for two hours,” she said. “Commencing…now.”

            W-Wait a minute! Birdy spoke up suddenly. They actually stuff you into this thing for two hours at a time just so you can think really hard at it?

            Shinji nodded very slightly, keenly aware of how they were being recorded and closely monitored.

            Birdy groaned. I thought you were just making that up when you told me about these tests!

            Shinji gave a very tiny shake of his head.

            Mind if I sleep through this? Birdy asked.

            I’d prefer it, actually, Shinji thought, shaking his head again.

            In seconds, Shinji was aware of a certain…lack of something within his mind. It was almost a type of aloneness but not quite. He wasn’t sure if he could accurately put the sensation into words, but if pressed he’d have described it as a sudden silence.

            Wow, she can just go right out, he thought, the corners of his mouth quirking upwards.

            “Something wrong, Maya?” Ritsuko asked, noticing that her protégé was studying the readouts with a frown on her face.

            “I don’t think so,” Maya said uncertainly. “I was just getting some strange readings from the Third Child, but they suddenly stopped. Everything looks normal now.”

            “Hmm,” Ritsuko hummed thoughtfully as she leaned over Maya’s shoulder to see for herself.

            Misato leaned over Maya’s other shoulder, despite having no idea how to interpret the particular set of data she had in front of her. “Do you think something could be wrong?”

            Ritsuko resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She takes in the commander’s kicked puppy of a son, and suddenly she’s a mother hen, she thought.

            “I doubt it, Misato,” Ritsuko said comfortingly. “It’s probably nothing. Just disregard it, Maya.”

            “Yes, sempai.”

            The sync test then proceeded without further incident.

            “Good job, Shinji-kun,” Misato said as she drove both her charges home after the sync tests had been finished. “You too, Asuka.”

            Asuka just ‘hmphed’ in response. She was still annoyed because Shinji had gained four points since the last test, while she had only gained slightly more than one. Shinji chuckled nervously and looked out the car window.

            The Third Child immediately frowned at what he saw. Nearly half a dozen thin trails of black smoke were rising up from various points on the cityscape, and even as he watched there was a flash of orange in the distance and another plume of smoke began to rise.

            Hey, are you thinking what I’m thinking, Shinji? Birdy asked.

            Shinji nodded. “Geega,” he whispered. “But why?”

            “Did you say something, Third Child?” Asuka asked.

            “No, Asuka,” Shinji lied, thankfully managing to sound casual as he did so, for once.

            I don’t know why, but I don’t care, Birdy said resolutely. I can’t pass up an opportunity like this. You have to get away from Misato and Asuka as soon as possible so we can go after them!

            Shinji blinked. He had no idea how he could get away at the moment. It was getting late, and both Misato and Asuka would be expecting him to start working on dinner as soon as they reached the apartment.

            “I can’t,” he argued, so softly even he could barely hear himself.

            What do you mean you can’t!? Birdy shouted so loudly that Shinji stiffened and stopped himself just before he jumped a foot in fright. Make up some excuse or something! I’ve held up my end of our deal, now you hold up yours!

            Shinji didn’t recall ever making any formal bargain with Birdy, but he supposed that he had promised his cooperation, more or less. “Okay.”

            “What are you whispering about, baka?” Asuka demanded.

            “Nothing, Asuka,” Shinji said quickly. “I was just, uh, thinking about what I was going to cook tonight.”

            Asuka gave him a look that clearly said she didn’t believe him but didn’t press the issue further.

            Moments later, Misato skidded to a stop in her usual parking space by the apartment, with her usual level of insane speed when behind the wheel. Shinji, however, was so used to this by now that it barely phased him.

            At least, that’s what he told himself, but the white-knuckled grip he maintained on his seat until the car came to a full and complete stop said different.

            Okay, now make something up and let’s go, Birdy urged as they all got out of the car.

            “Not yet,” Shinji whispered.

            Well hurry it up! Birdy growled in her impatience. The longer we delay, the more time Geega has to escape!

            Shinji nodded as he and his two female companions headed up to their shared apartment. Almost the moment they were inside, the Third Child made a very cursory inspection of the contents of their refrigerator, then released a disappointed sigh.

            “I’m missing some of the ingredients I need for the dinner I have planned for tonight,” he announced, working off his earlier lie. “I’m going to run down to the store and get them.”

            “Okay, Shinji-kun,” Misato said. “Don’t take too long.”

            He nodded and beat a hasty retreat from the apartment. The moment the apartment building’s elevator began to take him toward the ground floor, his body rapidly transformed as Birdy came to the fore.

            “You couldn’t have used that excuse earlier?” she asked the moment the transformation had finished. “They’d believe you if you claimed to have the contents of the fridge memorized, you know.”

            Shinji chuckled weakly despite himself. I hadn’t thought it up until we got up to the apartment, he admitted.

            “You need to work on thinking on your feet,” Birdy commented.

            Don’t worry. I think I’m going to be getting a lot of practice in the future, Shinji said dryly.

            Birdy ‘hmphed.’

            The elevator pinged and the doors slid open, revealing a pair of teenage boys who had apparently come to pay their friend a visit.

            “Hi, guys,” Birdy greeted cheerfully, then dashed off into the falling darkness of evening, leaving Toji and Kensuke gaping after the attractive, scantily clad young woman.

            I’m going to hear some version of this story tomorrow, Shinji predicted with a sigh.

            “Just be glad that I didn’t bother to tell them that you weren’t in,” Birdy replied.

            Before Shinji could reply, Birdy leapt into the air, soaring high above the tops of the nearby structures and then landing on the roof of a three story building. Shinji screamed in fright.

            “Geeze, chill out!” Birdy said as she jumped to another, higher rooftop.

            S-Sorry, Shinji stammered. I just wasn’t expecting it. It’s kind of like being on a rollercoaster.

            “Well, I hope you enjoy rollercoasters,” Birdy said, as she continued to leap from building to building, drawing nearer to the scattered fires. “I don’t need you screaming inside my head when I’m trying to fight.”

            Shinji tried to nod, then realized that he couldn’t. Okay, I’ll try and keep quiet.

            Birdy soon arrived at the sight of one of the fires, but there was no longer any sign of Geega. All that was there was a burning car.

            “Plenty more places to check,” Birdy said, leaping into the air again.

            Fifteen minutes later, Birdy had seen several more burning cars, a gas station that was rapidly going up in flames, and a small building that was likewise ablaze.

            “But no Geega,” Birdy sighed, after she’d checked all the fires. “I wonder if this was even him at all.”

            If it was, then I don’t think he’s done yet, Shinji said softly.

            “Why do you say th—?”

            Birdy was cut off mid word by a deep boom and another flash of orange light. A trail of smoke soon marked the location of the latest explosion, and the Federation officer was off.

            And this time she hit pay dirt. Standing only a few yards away from yet another burning car was Geega, in his alien form, apparently just surveying his handiwork.

            “Hey there, Geega,” Birdy greeted from her spot on a nearby roof. “You should have stayed hidden.”

            “We’ll see about that, Birdy,” Geega growled in response.

            The alien’s neck bulged, and it expelled one of its energy blasts straight at Birdy. The Federation officer dodged easily and jumped to the ground as a chunk was blown out of a tall tower behind her. Geega had already resumed his human disguise and had taken off running into the night by the time Birdy’s feet touched the pavement. The Federation officer immediately began to run after him.

            Be careful, Birdy, Shinji warned.

            “Don’t worry, Shinji,” Birdy said. “We’ll be fine. I can take Geega easy.”

            But doesn’t this whole thing seem suspicious to you? Shinji asked. It doesn’t seem like Geega was trying to do anything besides cause enough havoc to get your attention. Which means…

            Birdy’s eyes widened in realization, and she jumped straight up into the air.

            Just in time to avoid the thin beam of blood red light that lanced out at the place where she’d been less than a second ago. The attack crashed into a building, which erupted into an incredible explosion, far beyond anything Geega had managed to do so far. Birdy raised her arms over her head as chunks of broken concrete and twisted metal flew in all directions, but the Altarian was fortunate and managed to dodge all the debris as she landed back on the sidewalk.

            “Proton canon,” Birdy muttered to herself. “Geega must really want me dead.”

            That shot came from over by that alleyway! Shinji said, trying and failing to point.

            Birdy quickly found her new attackers anyway; the light from the explosion had quite eliminated the darkness they’d been hiding in. It was a pair of men, both dressed in identical trench coats, fedoras, wide scarves, and dark sunglasses. One of them had what looked like an oversized bazooka resting on his shoulder.

            They were, altogether, very overdressed for the perpetual summer of post-Second Impact Japan.

            Who are they? Shinji asked.

            “ ‘What are they’ is the better question,” Birdy growled.

            The Federation officer sprinted forward toward the two men. The one wielding the proton canon immediately brought his weapon to bear, and the thing immediately began to emit an ominous whirring sound as it charged up.

            Shinji gulped.

            With a wordless battle cry, Birdy grabbed the barrel of weapon and pointed it straight up just as the man pulled the trigger. The beam of red light flew harmlessly into the sky, and Birdy wrenched the proton canon from his grip.

            The Federation officer then employed a more low tech means of using the weapon. Still gripping the barrel, Birdy brought the proton canon down on the shooter’s head like a club, shattering the weapon in the process.

            The man staggered backwards a couple of steps, but otherwise he barely seemed phased by the attack. Shinji gasped, sure that the same assault would have utterly shattered his skull had he been the target.

            As one, the two mean abruptly tore off their trench coats, along with what Shinji had thought was skin, revealing gray, metallic bodies and faces that were covered by some kind of dark, translucent material like plastic. A single, red eye burned in each of the metal men’s faces.

            They’re robots, Shinji gasped.

            “Arcezoids,” Birdy hissed.

            With lightning speed, one of the Arcezoids threw a punch at Birdy. Even faster, the Altarian grabbed hold of the other robot and pulled it in front of her to act as a shield. There was a squeal of twisting metal and a shower of sparks as the attacking Arcezoid’s fist punched a hole into the torso of its companion. Birdy released her grip on the hapless robot she held, allowing it to fall lifelessly to the pavement.

            “Pathetic,” Birdy sneered, cracking her knuckles loudly as she prepared to destroy the second Arcezoid.

            That was when a ball of blue light crashed into the ground between them and exploded, sending a spray of broken concrete into the air both combatants flying. Birdy let out a groan of pain as she bounced off the sidewalk and spat out a mouthful of rubble.

            “Ugh,” she grunted, looking around for the source of the attack. She soon caught sight of Geega standing atop a nearby roof and growled.

            Birdy, look out! Shinji shouted.

            She turned to see that the remaining Arcezoid had grabbed a garbage dumpster that had been in the alley and had raised it high above its head. The robot wordlessly hurled the dumpster forward, sending it straight at Birdy.

            Get out of the way! Shinji shouted.

            Birdy ignored her partner. Instead of dodging, the Altarian jumped about a foot into the air and spun about, lashing out with her leg. She released an angry roar as her booted foot slammed into the flying dumpster, leaving an incredibly deep dent and sending it sailing back the way it had come.

            The Arcezoid tried to dodge the missile, but in the confines of the alley, not even the robotic fighting machine could quite pull it off. The dumpster rammed into it with the force of a freight train, continuing its flight until it crashed into the back wall of the alley, crushing the Arcezoid between it and a brick wall like a soda can.

            “Geega!” Birdy shouted, already jumping into the air in pursuit of her real quarry, who had realized a bit too late that his gambit was doomed to failure.

            The Federation officer landed on the rooftop that Geega was just vacating, and immediately took off after him, chasing the interstellar criminal from rooftop to rooftop.

            Geega abruptly twisted about as he leapt through the air again, firing another energy blast at Birdy. The Altarian dodged easily, and the attack struck the top floor of another hapless building.

            Shinji fervently hoped that the city government would never discover that he was sharing a body with Birdy and charge him for any of this property damage.

            With a cry of rage, Birdy launched herself into the air after Geega. The alien never had a chance to try and attack again before the Federation officer’s fist slammed crashed into his stomach, knocking the wind out of him and damn near causing several of his internal organs to rupture.

            His mouth opened in a silent scream of agony, Geega collapsed back down to the rooftop, clutching his stomach and looking very defeated and pathetic, his great yellow eyes bugging out almost comically.

            “Finally got you, Geega,” Birdy said, landing right before him. “By the way, I’m insulted that you only grabbed two Arcezoids and a pea shooter for this trap.”

            Geega didn’t even try and make a reply.

            Birdy scowled darkly and grabbed him by his collar, roughly pulling him to his feet. “Now tell me where Christella Revi is,” she demanded.

            Geega chuckled mirthlessly. “Why should I tell you?”

            “You’ll feel less guilty if you do,” Birdy replied without missing a beat.

            Geega laughed again. “Forget it.”

            “In that case, I guess I’ll just have to send you on your way,” Birdy said, sighing with mock disappointment.

            She hadn’t believed for a moment that Geega would just spill his guts to her, but it never hurt to ask.

            Birdy reached into her hair and pulled out a flat, triangular object about twice the size of a guitar pick. She pointed it at Geega and pressed a button on it. Instantly, an inky black sphere surrounded the defeated criminal. After a second or two, it flew off into the night, taking Geega with it.

            “And off he goes,” Birdy said.

            Where did you send him? Shinji asked.

            “To the Federation. They’ll interrogate him there and hopefully get something out of him to help my investigation,” Birdy replied. “Well, that’s that, I guess. We can head home now.”

            Thank goodness, Shinji said with a sigh as Birdy began to jump across the rooftops toward home. That was insane.

            “Even more insane than piloting that EVA thing of yours?” Birdy asked.

            No, I guess not, but at least when I’m doing that, I’m not just stuck watching, Shinji replied.

            “Hey, don’t forget that when you have to fight the Angels, I’m going to be stuck in the passenger’s seat just like you were tonight,” Birdy reminded him.

            Good point, Shinji said.

            “Anyway, thanks for the heads up back there,” Birdy said. “You did pretty good tonight. Way better than I’d expected.”

            Uh, thanks, I think, Shinji replied.

            About ten minutes later found Shinji shuffling back into the apartment, feeling exhausted.

            “I’m home,” he said quietly as he slipped off his shoes.

            “It’s about time!”

            Shinji jumped and turned to see Asuka sitting at the kitchen table, looking cross.

            “Did you get whatever food you were looking for, Third?” the redhead asked.

            Shinji blinked, giving his house mate a completely blank look. “Food?”

            Asuka groaned and rolled her eyes. “Mein Gott!”

            For the next few days, things were actually fairly quiet in Shinji’s life. No Angels appeared, nor had any space criminals made themselves visible. The Third Child knew that this relative peace was not to last, of course, he was only in the eye of the storm as it were. However, he intended to enjoy the tranquility—

            “What do you mean I can’t go on the trip!?” Asuka screeched.

            Never mind.

            What trip? Birdy asked.

            “Okinawa,” Shinji whispered, so softly he could barely hear himself.

            Why haven’t I heard about it, riding around in your head? Birdy asked.

            Shinji couldn’t think of any way to answer the Federation officer at the moment without drawing the attention of Asuka and Misato to himself, so he kept silent and watched the argument unfold.

            “That’s right,” Misato told Asuka, perfectly calm in the face of the Second Child’s rage.

            “Why not?” Asuka demanded.

            “It’s part of your job,” Misato replied curtly.

            “You mean I’m on permanent standby?” Asuka snapped indignantly.

            “Yup,” Misato replied, taking a calm drink from her beer can.

            “What idiot decided that?” Asuka demanded, obviously nearing critical mass.

            “This one,” Misato answered, her eyes narrowing slightly and a slightly predatory glint appearing in them. “The Operations Planning Manager.”

            Well, she walked right into that one, Birdy said with a snicker.

            Though the glare never left her face, Asuka hesitated, not quite sure whether she wanted to keep pushing Misato when the Ops Director had that look on her face.

            In the end, she decided to take a less hazardous course of action and try to rally her only potential ally to her cause.

            “Shinji!” Asuka snapped. “Why don’t you stop hiding behind that cup of tea and talk some sense into this woman! Be a man!”

            The Third Child started slightly as Asuka turned her burning blue glare upon him. Inside his head, Birdy chuckled softly, though he wasn’t exactly sure why.

            “Well,” Shinji said, putting down his mug, “really, I didn’t expect that we’d be allowed to go.”

            “So, you’ve already given up?” Asuka asked.

            Shinji shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so.”

            “Pathetic,” Asuka sighed. “You’re so housebroken that it’s painful to watch.”

            What a tactless girl, Birdy commented.

            Shinji frowned. “I’m right here, you know.”

            Misato cleared her throat loudly, butting her way back into the conversation. “Listen, I know you can’t be pleased about this, but try thinking of it as a chance to get ahead for a change,” she said, then pulled out a pair of zip drives. “Or did you think I didn’t know about these report cards?”

            Asuka flinched.

            “The school sent these directly to my terminal, and I am very disappointed with the both of you,” Misato said.

            You know, it would be easier to take this lecture seriously if she’d put down the beer can while she gave it, Birdy said, sounding amused.

            “Shut up,” Shinji mumbled.

            Misato turned to look at the Third Child, blinking in disbelief. Surely, she thought, she must have just heard wrong. This was Shinji, after all.

            “What was that, Shinji-kun?” Misato asked.

            “Huh? Oh! Nothing! Nothing!” Shinji said quickly, already bordering on panic.

            Misato gave him a strange look, then let it go. This was Shinji, after all.

            “Anyway,” she continued, “while I think you both deserve a little rest and should probably check out the pool at the NERV rec center, I expect you to catch up on your schoolwork as well. Understand?”

            “Yes, ma’am,” Shinji and Asuka replied.

            “Good,” Misato said, cheerfully triumphant.

            Shinji quickly mumbled an excuse to leave the scene and retreated back to his room, sliding the screen shut behind him.

            “You know, I can do without the running commentary on my life, Birdy,” he said, annoyed. “You almost got me into trouble for no reason.”

            Sorry, Birdy replied. But I’m bored. There isn’t exactly a whole lot to do in here, and in case you haven’t noticed, we’ve had no time to pursue my investigation since catching Geega.

            Shinji sighed. That much, he had to admit, was true. Tests at NERV had consumed nearly all his free time recently, which meant that Birdy got no time to search for Revi or any more of her agents.

            Akagi had grown concerned over the anomalous readings that she got from the first few minutes of his recent sync tests. Since a few minutes was how long it took the Federation to conk out from pure boredom whenever he took a sync test, Shinji was fairly sure she was responsible.

            Fortunately, the blond scientist was being confounded at every turn, and since the strange readings weren’t accompanied by any change in Shinji’s performance, Akagi was already thinking about abandoning her little investigation.

            “Sorry,” Shinji said, laying down on his futon. “I guess I never thought about how dull it is for you.”

            A rather uncomfortable silence descended, and Shinji held back a sigh. Even when he was ‘alone’ he still had these awkward moments now, and he hated it. It made him feel like he could never fully be at ease and relax anymore.

            “I can’t believe Asuka didn’t realize we wouldn’t get to go,” Shinji blurted out.

            I can, Birdy replied.

            Shinji frowned slightly. “And why is that?”

            Because, she tends to only think about the good things EVA does for her. The doors it opens, the way she can turn it into instant popularity at school, the power and prestige it brings her, Birdy answered. You, on the other hand, only think about the bad things EVA causes. The pain, the possibility of death, the way NERV never gives damn about how they’re screwing with your schedule and your life. Neither one of you has a very good way of looking at it, if you ask me.

            Shinji blinked in surprise and said nothing; his experiences with Birdy so far had left him quite unprepared for this insightfulness.

            So, Birdy spoke up again before he could formulate a reply, since it looks like you’re actually going to get a little time off, then I guess I can finally go out on patrol.

            Shinji frowned. “I do have to catch up on my homework and stuff, you know.”

            Oh, geeze! You share a body with an alien, you pilot a giant robot against giant monsters, and you’re worried about homework?! Birdy exclaimed.

            “Sorry,” Shinji said.

            Birdy sighed. No, it’s okay. Look, I’ll help you with your homework before I go on patrol.

            “I’m not sure that—”

            Shinji… Birdy growled.

            “Okay, okay, fine,” Shinji quickly relented.

            Looking to stop the conversation, Shinji put his SDAT’s ear buds in and lay down on his futon. He pushed the button to start the tape, and the familiar sounds of Pachebel’s Canon filled his ears.

            You know, you really need to get a hobby, Shinji, Birdy said. And some better music.

            Shinji took a deep breath, suppressing his annoyance only with considerable force of will. “What did I say about the running commentary on my life?” he asked.

            Yeah, yeah…

            The office was large, richly furnished and well lit, despite having no windows. It might have been the workspace of a very successful businessman, but the man who currently called the place his was far, far more sinister.

            He was ordinary looking enough. A tall, slender man with sharp, handsome features and slicked back, black hair, nothing about Dr. Hikawa’s appearance looked off, but appearances could, after all, be deceiving.

            A knock came at the doctor’s door. “Enter,” Hikawa called.

            The door opened and Gomez stepped inside, looking as big and stoic as ever, Hikawa noted with a trace of wry amusement. “Ah, to what do I owe the pleasure?” the scientist asked sardonically.

            If Gomez picked up on any of the subtle nuances in Hikawa’s tone, he didn’t show it. “I want to know how you’re proceeding,” he said, “so I can make my usual report to Revi-sama.”

            Hikawa’s eyebrows went up a fraction of an inch. He strongly suspected that Gomez was asking for his own sake, rather than that of his employer. Revi’s top strong man had never quite trusted him.

            Rather than respond immediately, Hikawa turned away from him and grabbed what looked like a bottle of wine. The scientist uncorked it and then poured some of the contents out into a fine crystal goblet.

            The liquid was clear, but flecks of light shimmered and swirled about inside of it, like stardust caught in water. Hikawa drank it all in one gulp, then released a contented sigh.

            “My experiments are proceeding well,” he answered at last. “I should be able to move to the next phase as soon as the next shipment of chemicals comes in. After that, it shouldn’t be too long before the final product is ready.”

            “I’m sure Revi-sama will be pleased to hear that,” Gomez said.

            The man did not leave, however, making it clear that he wasn’t done. “And?” Hikawa pressed after a few moments of silence.

            “Doctor, this is just my own advice, but I believe you should show more discretion when disposing of your test subjects,” Gomez said. “The local authorities have been finding their remains, and they’ve been getting curious.”

            Hikawa smirked. “I have no need to worry about the likes of the police.”

            “Perhaps not,” was Gomez’s curt reply.

            “If I were you, Gomez, I’d be more worried about that Federation officer who escaped Geega’s pitiful trap,” Hikawa commented. “I hope that wasn’t your idea, as I doubt that Miss Revi will be pleased with you about that development.”

            “Geega acted entirely of his accord, seeking to redeem himself before Revi-sama arrived in Japan, I suspect. In any case, doctor, I’m far more concerned with how much of that you’re drinking,” Gomez said, indicating the bottle of the strange concoction Hikawa had just had a glass of.

            Gomez then left without another word. Hikawa just smirked and released his hold on the empty crystal goblet he still held. Amazingly, it didn’t go crashing to the floor, but remained suspended in midair by some invisible force.

            Then Hikawa’s eyes narrowed, and a cold chuckle escaped him. A long crack appeared on the goblet, running all the way from the rim of the glass, down the stem and to the base. Then the goblet shattered completely, and the shards fell to the floor as gravity at last reasserted itself.

            The NERV pool facility was a peaceful place during business hours, since virtually no one could actually use them at that time. It had visitors today, but even so, the only sounds besides the water lapping against the sides of the pool came from Rei Ayanami’s occasional dives and the rapid clicking of Shinji Ikari’s laptop as his fingers danced across the keyboard.

            “Geeze, you’re fast,” Shinji whispered as he watched his homework being completed at warp speed.

            Thanks, Birdy said. This stuff is actually pretty basic compared to some of the courses I had to take back at—

            “Hey, Shinji!”

            The Third Child looked up at the person who’d shattered the relative silence of the pool area and did a double take. Asuka Langley Soryu stood before him, clad in a skimpy red and white bikini that was probably a size too small for her developing body. Shinji felt his face heat as he looked at her.

            But his fingers never ceased their frantic typing.

            “H-Hello, Asuka,” he managed to get out.

            “Whatcha got there, Shinji?” Asuka asked.

            “Physics homework,” Shinji replied, the thought of his schoolwork somewhat pushing back the rather base thoughts that had pervaded his mind.

            “Really?” Asuka drawled, leaning over to take a look at the screen, and bringing her feminine assets rather close to Shinji’s face in the process.

            Shinji released a rather strangled sound, but to Asuka’s confusion, he continued to work on his homework, not even slowing down.

            He’s speechless but he can still work out mathematical equations in his head at high speed? And why are his grades so bad if he’s this smart? Asuka wondered as she looked at the laptop’s monitor.

            Suddenly, his typing halted. Shinji took a quick look at his screen and realized that the homework assignment was finished.

            “Well, it looks like I’m done,” Shinji said, closing his laptop and getting up from his chair, careful not to touch Asuka as he did so. “I have to go now, Asuka. I have an appointment I have to keep. Ja ne.”

            He said all of this much too fast and was barely able to keep himself from sprinting out of the pool area, leaving a very confused Second Child behind him.

            “The hell?” Asuka muttered to herself once he was gone.

            “Ikari has been acting differently lately,” Rei commented.

            Asuka started, having almost forgotten that the First Child was in the pool. “Acting differently?” she repeated. “He’s been losing his Gott damn mind!”

            Wow, you were really cool and collected back there, Shinji! Birdy chuckled as the Third Child walked briskly through the halls of NERV, clutching his laptop.

            “Shut up,” Shinji grumbled. “I told you I don’t need the running commentary. Oh, and you could have stopped typing while she was talking to me. I’m sure that looked really weird.”

            Weirder than the way you’re apparently talking to yourself right now? Birdy asked. It won’t exactly be good if anyone sees you right now, you know.

            Shinji just fumed silently as he walked down the hall.

            Look, I’m sorry, Birdy said in a somewhat more serious tone. It’s just that I thought it was cute the way she was flirting with you, and—

            “She wasn’t flirting with me,” Shinji said, rolling his eyes at the preposterous notion. “She was…I don’t know what she was doing, but it wasn’t flirting.”

            If you say so, Birdy said, the teasing lilt returning to her voice.

            “Do you want to go out on patrol today or not?” Shinji asked. “If so, I suggest you drop it.”

            Okay, okay. Sheesh, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Shinji? Birdy asked.

            “Sorry, I’m just…tired,” Shinji sighed, his anger draining away.

            Before Birdy could reply, Shinji’s cell phone went off. Shifting his laptop so he could hold it with one hand, the Third Child reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

            He knew the moment he saw the caller ID screen that Birdy wouldn’t get to patrol the city today.

Author’s Notes: And so we have the first real battle of this fic. Geega and a couple of Arcezoids aren’t much of a challenge for Birdy, but there are bigger, badder villains waiting in the wings, of that you can be sure.

Originally I had planned for both the battles against Geega and the Eighth Angel to be in this chapter, but then it kept getting longer, and it seemed to make more sense to just stop.

As always, thanks to my readers and reviewers.  

Omakes

Making the Most of it

            “Something wrong, Maya?” Ritsuko asked, noticing that her protégé was studying the readouts with a frown on her face.

            “It’s Shinji’s brain waves, sempai,” Maya said. “All of a sudden, they seem to have…shifted.”

            “Shifted?” Misato asked worriedly. “Shifted how? Is Shinji’s health in danger?”

            “I’m not sure, ma’am,” Maya answered. “Shinji’s brain waves seem to have shifted into a pattern more consistent with a woman.”

            Unfortunately for Shinji, the techs had forgotten to turn off the microphones in the control room, resulting in all three Children hearing this conversation.

            Asuka’s laughter rang out across the testing chambers. “Ha! I knew the baka was no man! Nice to have scientific proof, though!”

            Blushing furiously, Shinji hunched down in his seat, wishing he could just disappear. Damn it, Birdy, he thought. Well, might as well make the most of this.

            “So, does this mean that I’m allowed in the girls’ locker room now?” he asked.

            Smack!

            Everyone blinked in confusion as they realized that Shinji had apparently slapped himself for his perverted comment.

            “Damn it…” the Third Child grumbled.  

Underestimated

            The elevator pinged and the doors slid open, revealing a pair of teenage boys who had apparently come to pay their friend a visit.

            “Hi, guys,” Birdy greeted cheerfully. “Don’t bother going up to see Shinji right now. I tired him out just now, so I doubt he’ll want to see anyone at the moment.”

            She then dashed off into the falling darkness of evening, leaving Toji and Kensuke gaping after the attractive, scantily clad young woman.

            I’m going to hear some version of this story tomorrow, Shinji predicted with a sigh.

            “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Birdy said dismissively.

            The next day…

            “I’m going to be hearing about your little stunt all day today,” Shinji grumbled as he walked to school.

            Oh, please, you worry too much, Birdy said. They’ll grill you about whether or not you slept with me for a few minutes and then it’ll be over.

            “All hail the great Ikari-sama!”

            On the other hand…

            Dreading what he was going to see, Shinji reluctantly turned, his gaze falling upon Toji and Kensuke…both of whom were wearing strange purple and green robes.

            “Oh kami…you’ve started a cult,” Shinji groaned.

            “Yes!” Kensuke proclaimed proudly. “The cult of Ikari! And we are its high priests!”

            “Please, Ikari-sama, share your mighty wisdom with us, so that we may be able to do things with Misato,” Toji pleaded.

            Shinji glared at them, and immediately the pair blanched.

            “We have angered the great one!” Kensuke yelled. “Flee, before he smites us with his laser eyes!”

            The two ran away as fast as possible, leaving an incredulous Shinji.

            Wow, they’re…suggestible. Birdy commented.

            “Laser eyes?” Shinji muttered disbelievingly.

Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is the creation of Anno and Gainax. I don’t own it, make no claims to it, and am making no profit from the fan fiction. No infringement of copyright is intended. In other words, please don’t sue.

Disclaimer: Birdy the Mighty is the creation of Masami Yuuki. I don’t own it, make no claims to it, and am making no profit from the fan fiction. No infringement of copyright is intended. In other words, please don’t sue.

Chapter Three: Patrols  

            You know, when I let you be bonded with me, I never imagined that you’d have a job more dangerous than mine, Birdy commented as Shinji gazed down into the boiling cauldron of molten rock within Mount Asuma.

            There was a distinct note of trepidation in the usually fearless Federation officer’s voice, though Shinji really couldn’t blame her. Just the idea of plunging down into that inferno filled him with dread.

            “Unit One’s just here as backup,” he muttered, trying to sound like he was just reassuring himself.

            Let’s just hope Asuka doesn’t screw up, then, or…

            Birdy forced Shinji’s head to tilt upwards, causing his gaze to fall upon the circling group of bombers. Bombers that Shinji knew his father had ordered to drop N2 depth charges into the volcano if the operation failed to capture or kill the embryonic Angel that lurked in the lava.

            Had to remind me, didn’t you? He thought with a sigh.

            Outside, machinery that NERV had commandeered from the research station that was here went into motion, maneuvering a high powered laser over the mouth of the volcano. The laser released a single pulse down into the lava, boring a “tunnel” for Unit Two.

            The laser was moved away, and Unit Two took its place, clad in the bulky D-type armor.

            Still looks like a giant marshmallow, Birdy commented.

            Shinji just rolled his eyes and said nothing, just glad that Birdy wasn’t succumbing to another laughing fit like back in the hanger when the Second Child had emerged in her inflated, heat resistant plug suit.

            “Are you ready, Asuka?” Misato asked over the NERV general channel.

            “I was born ready,” Asuka replied, and Shinji could hear the eager grin on her face.

            “Begin lowering Unit Two,” Misato commanded.

            Shinji watched as the other EVA slowly descended toward the lava, still not quite able to believe that NERV thought this was a good idea.

            “Hey, Shinji! Look!” Asuka called up. “Giant stroke entry!”

            Unit Two spread its legs, one forwards and one backwards, as it hit the lava , probably the most graceful thing that Asuka could make her EVA don in the clumsy exosuit.

            Shinji sighed slightly. “She’s completely insane,” he muttered.

            You’re just now realizing that? Birdy asked.

            Shinji just shook his head and stared down into the lava. In seconds, Unit Two had vanished beneath the surface of the molten rock, and only the cables that kept it from plunging downward until the pressure crushed it were visible.

            And now we wait, Birdy said.

            “And now we wait,” Shinji agreed.

            Down in the mobile command vehicle, the atmosphere was tense. Unlike the pilots, most of the people crammed into the van full of high priced, cutting edge electronics knew only too well what the worst case scenario was, namely a repeat of Second Impact.

            History showed that disturbing sleeping Angels was not the wisest of moves, but NERV had no choice. The opportunity to capture a live Angel was simply too good to pass up.

            “The EVA has reached the target’s estimated depth,” Makoto reported after several torturous minutes. “No sign of the Angel. We’re already at the maximum safe depth for the D-type equipment.”

            “Continue descent,” Misato ordered curtly, “and recalculate the Angel’s projected location. Now!”

            “Yes, ma’am,” Makoto said, quickly getting to work.

            If possible, time began to crawl by even more sluggishly. They were offically pushing it now, and it put them all especially on edge. Makoto began to rapidly tap his foot against the floor. Lieutenant Sakura Yashima, who had taken Maya’s usual place for this operation, began to chew on her lower lip. Aoba just stared unblinkingly at his terminal.

            “Maximum allotted depth plus 50,” Sakura counted off. “Maximum allotted depth plus 100. Ma’am! A crack’s formed on the outer layer of the armor! Progressive knife has been lost!”

            “Keep going,” Misato ordered firmly.

            Makoto finally could take it no longer. “Ma’am, I must object! Have you forgotten that there’s a human being in there?”

            “That’s enough, Lieutenant,” Misato said sharply. “Continue descent.”

            “I agree with Misato!” Asuka spoke up over the radio before Makoto could gather the courage to protest further. “I’m okay! I can go on!”

 What the hell is with them? Birdy asked, incredulous.

            Nothing more than a spectator to the argument on whether or not to proceed, Shinji could only shake his head. This insane pursuit of combat and victory from Asuka wasn’t really surprising to him, but he had never seen this side of Misato before.

            Just let everyone come out of this okay, please, Shinji silently begged any deity that would listen.

            Asuka squinted as she looked downwards, searching for any sign of the Angel. It was a largely futile endeavor; even with all of EVA’s fancy scanning equipment, her visibility was down to virtually nothing, but focusing all her concentration on searching made the stifling heat easier to tolerate. At least, she told herself it made the heat easier to tolerate.

            “How are you doing, Asuka?” Misato asked over the radio.

            “Fine, if you don’t count the fact that I’m covered it sweat,” Asuka grumbled, finding that complaining actually did make it easier to bear that heat. “I just want to get this over with and take a shower.”

            “There are hot springs in this area,” Misato said. “We can visit them after this operation’s done.”

            “Sounds good,” Asuka said gamely.

            “EVA is now at 1780, the new estimated target depth,” Sakura chimed in.

            “I see it!” Asuka exclaimed, looking down at a dark shape in his cockpit display. “Preparing magnetic cage for capture!”

            “Be careful,” Ritsuko warned, “because of the currents of the magma, you’ll only get one shot at this.”

            Every member of NERV at the site collectively held their breath, including Asuka, loathe as she would have been to admit as much to anyone.

            Unit Two moved closer to the sleeping Angel at a deceptively slow pace. Asuka knew only too well that her progress might seem sluggish, but her window of opportunity would only be open for a couple of seconds as she made her pass.

            Finally, when she judged that she was near enough, Asuka held out the cage and pressed the button to activate it.

            The magnetic field came to life with a low buzzing sound, and the capture indicator on Asuka’s HUD flashed green.

            “Electromagnetic cage has been activated,” Asuka reported, a smile that was one part relief and three parts triumph spreading over her face. “The target has been captured, no problems detected. I’m beginning my ascent.”

            Everyone let out great sighs of relief. “Great job, Asuka!” Misato cheered.

            “Asuka, are you all right?” Shinji asked.

            “Of course!” Asuka replied smugly. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself! This was easy!”

            Inside the mobile command center, the tension had rushed out of NERV personnel like air from a punctured balloon. Misato and Ritsuko were both watching the main display with small, relieved smiles.

            “That was nerve-wracking,” Ritsuko commented needlessly.

            “Yeah,” Misato agreed, “but I guess it was all for nothing. I wasn’t too worried; Asuka knows what she’s doing.”

            Ritsuko arched an eyebrow. “You really weren’t worried that we would set off another Second Impact?” she asked.

            “A little, but if I’d really believed that we would—”

            The Operations Director was cut off as klaxons began to blare throughout the mobile command vehicle. “It’s going crazy!” Asuka exclaimed over the radio.

            “No!” Ritsuko shouted as she looked down at one of the readouts, which showed the embryo growing rapidly. “The Angel’s begun to hatch! This is much earlier than we expected!”

            “Cage status?” Misato barked.

            “There’s no way the cage can hold it!” Hyuga answered. “It’s growing too quickly!”

            “Damn it,” Misato swore. “Asuka, jettison the cage! The objective of this operation has been switched from capture to terminate!”

            “You got it!” Asuka said as she let the rapidly growing Angel loose.

            She reached for her progressive knife with the D-type armor’s clumsy, claw-like hands, only to make a rather disturbing discovery. “I forgot I dropped the prog knife!” she exclaimed, fear seeping into the Second Child’s voice.

            “No!” Misato exclaimed, having forgotten that as well. “Shinji! Prepare to send down yours!”

            “Roger!”

            Asuka saw the Angel approach her and reacted quickly. “Jettisoning holster!” she said, releasing the string of battery packs that had been for powering the now abandoned cage.

            It was like dropping ballast, and Unit Two jerked upwards, dodging the Angel’s first pass. “It’s fast!” she said. “Hurry up with that prog knife already!”

            “Shinji, do it!” Misato commanded.

            “Right!” Shinji replied, flinging down his knife as hard as he could.

            “Here it comes again!” Asuka cried as the Angel came in for another pass. This time she didn’t have anything to drop. “No! Get away from me!” she shouted, as though the Angel was some kind of annoying dog.

            If the Angel heard her plea, it ignored it, slamming into her EVA and clamping its mouth down onto the helmet of the D-type equipment. “Damn you!” Asuka screamed.

            “Heat shield failing!” reported Hyuga.

            “Left leg damaged!” added Sakura.

            The progressive knife finally fell into Asuka’s range of view, and she seized it desperately, frantically stabbing at the Angel’s core. However, the huge knife failed to penetrate the Angel’s red sphere. “It’s not working!”

            “Oh no! The extreme heat has altered the Angel’s molecular structure! The progressive knife won’t work on it!” Ritsuko exclaimed, abruptly realizing just how dire the situation was.

 “Oh no,” Shinji breathed as he continued to stare down into the mouth of the volcano, all too aware of what was going on beneath the surface of the lava.

            Shinji! Birdy shouted. Thermal expansion!

            He frowned. “What?” he whispered, totally bewildered.

            Thermal expansion! That’s how Asuka can kill the Angel! Just say it! Somebody will figure it out! Birdy urged.

            Still having no idea how thermal expansion—whatever it was—could possibly help anything, but more than willing to assist in whatever way he could, the Third Child switched his transmitter on with a thought.

            “Asuka! Thermal expansion!”

            “Right!” the Second Child said, getting the idea immediately.

            She reached up and cut her coolant lines, grabbing one of the hoses and pressing the severed end to the Angel’s core. “Transfer all coolant pressure to cable number three! Do it now!”

            Hyuga leapt to the task at once, and soon coolant was gushing out onto the Angel’s core.

            “Of course, the coolant will cause the core to contract and make it vulnerable to attack!” Ritsuko said, figuring out what Asuka was up to…and wondering why she herself hadn’t thought of it.

            With a savage scream, Asuka brought the progressive knife down on the Angel’s core, this time managing to pierce it. The beast writhed for several seconds before finally releasing its hold on Asuka, falling down into the lava.

            A sudden jolt cut her victory celebration short, however. Asuka looked up and realized that the last cable connecting her to the crane up above was rapidly shredding under the weight of her EVA.

            “I’ve done it,” she said softly, “but that’s it. I’m done for.”

            Asuka had always known that death in battle was a possibility, but not until now had she really believed it. And not only was she now faced with her own demise, but it was going to happen in one of the worst ways imaginable.

            Oh my god, she’s going to die, Shinji thought.

            The idea seemed almost impossible. Asuka, who was even a bit younger than he himself, killed while fighting a war? Asuka, who, despite her flaws was probably the liveliest person Shinji knew, dead at the bottom of a volcano?

            It was unthinkable…and suddenly it became intolerable as well. The notion that one of them should perish fighting the Angels, these mysterious beasts that showed up without warning or reason for seemingly nothing but the sake of terrorizing mankind abruptly became so incredibly repugnant that he wouldn’t, couldn’t allow it to happen.

            Shinji? What are you doing? Birdy asked nervously as he gripped Unit One’s control yokes.

            He didn’t answer her. Couldn’t answer her. Because in order to answer her, to formulate a reply to her question, he’d have to think about what he was about to do. And he knew that if stopped to think about it, he’d lose his nerve entirely.

            Shinji Ikari pushed forward on the control yokes, and EVA Unit One leapt over the rim of the volcano and went diving downwards.

            Birdy screamed at the top of her lungs, but Shinji barely heard it, too focused upon his task.

            Unit One plunged beneath the surface of the lava with a surprisingly small splash, and had Shinji not been in the grip of an almost fugue-like state of concentration, he would have lost it and started screaming immediately. The pain was incredible, surpassed in intensity only by the time that the Third Angel had utterly destroyed one of Unit One’s eyes. Even that pain had only been in one place, while this burning agony was absolutely everywhere.

            Where is she? He thought, searching frantically as Unit One sank lower and lower. Where is she?

            It was so hard to see in the magma that he nearly missed her; one second there was nothing, and the next he spied a blob that he barely realized was Unit Two in time. The Third Child grabbed onto what remained of Asuka’s coolant hose with all his might, then with EVA’s free hand clutched the cable they had used to lower her down.

            Got her, Shinji thought, releasing a small sigh.

            Damn, Birdy said, impressed. It was the only comment she could muster at the moment.

            A few hours later found Shinji, Misato and Asuka at a local onsen for the promised visit to the hot springs. Since the area had been evacuated because of the Angel and people were only now starting to return, the NERV group had the entire building practically to themselves. Only the owner was also around.

            Well, the owner and Pen-Pen. How the water fowl had convinced Kaji to mail him was a mystery to Shinji, as was how he’d known where exactly to mail the penguin.

            Shinji had, upon Birdy’s advice, decided not to dwell on these questions further, since the only likely result of doing so was a massive headache.

            “Ahh,” Shinji breathed as he lowered himself into the hot water. “I never knew a bath could feel so good.”

            I can’t believe that you can be enjoying this after what just happened, Birdy commented dryly.

            Shinji shrugged. “I know what you mean, but this is really nice,” he said softly. “By the way, sorry about back there…it just sorta happened. I couldn’t let Asuka die.”

            Birdy sighed. Well, everything came out okay in the end, so I guess it’s okay. Just please don’t do anything that suicidal again. Remember, if you die, I die, too.

            “I’ll try not to,” Shinji said.

            That’s the best I can get out of you, with your line of work, is it? Well, I guess I can’t complain, not with what I do, Birdy said resignedly. I definitely have a new appreciation for what it must have been like for you while I was fighting Geega and the Arcezoids.

            Shinji nodded. “By the way, that was great, the way you came up with thermal expansion like that. How’d you think of it, anyway?”

            Birdy chuckled. It was in your physics homework, actually. That was why I thought of it so quickly.

            Shinji smiled, amused despite himself that something he’d learned in school had actually had such a practical, real world application. And he hadn’t actually even learned it!

            “Hey, Shinji!” Asuka called from the other side of the barrier that separated the men’s and women’s sides of the bath.

            “Um, yeah?” the Third Child called back, slightly startled.

            “Could you throw your body shampoo over?” Misato asked sweetly. “We ran out of ours.”

            “Oh, sure,” Shinji said, grabbing the requested bottle. “Ready?”

            “Ready!” Asuka chirped back.

            “Okay, here it comes!” Shinji said, throwing the bottle over the barrier.

            “Ow!” Asuka shouted, then cursed in German. “Watch where you’re throwing, baka!”

            “Uh, sorry,” Shinji apologized automatically, not even wondering how he was supposed to do that with the divider blocking his view.

            “Oh, he hit me in my most sensitive place!” Asuka whined.

            “There, there, let me take a look at it,” Misato said in a comforting tone. After a moment’s pause she added, “Oh, wow, your skin is so soft!”

            “Ooo, so is yours!” Asuka cooed, all pain apparently forgotten.

            Shinji’s face reddened, and—

            I can’t believe this crap! Birdy exclaimed.

            Startled, Shinji jumped, creating a large splash, the sound of which somehow set off a fit of giggles from the other side of the bath.

            “Huh?” Shinji whispered, not at all sure what had gotten Birdy’s ire to rise.

            I can’t believe them! You saved Asuka’s life today, and in the process you saved Misato from the guilt of getting one of her child soldiers killed because of her reckless decisions! And what thanks do you get? The Altarian ranted, far angrier on Shinji’s behalf than he himself was. Them trying to give you blue ba—!

            “It’s really not a big deal,” Shinji muttered, feeling his face heat.

            The hell it isn’t! Birdy snapped. You know what? You’re getting a reward from them whether they know about it or not!

            “I don’t think I like whaa—!” Shinji hissed as Birdy suddenly took control of his body and he began to head for the edge of the spring.

            Trust me, Shinji. Birdy said.

            “Birdy, please, whatever you’re doing, stop it right now!” Shinji pleaded.

            The Federation officer didn’t respond, silently forcing Shinji out of the water. The Third Child grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then tossed a helpless look at the rather curious penguin that was still floating in the spring.

            Shinji, still under Birdy’s control, stepped out of the bathing chambers and into the hallway outside. After a quick check to make sure that the owner wasn’t around, Birdy forced the Third Child to bring the towel he was wearing up until the top was at his chest, and then switched places with him.

            Birdy, what are you doing? Shinji asked desperately.

            “Relax,” she said, heading over to the door that led to the women’s half of the bath.

            Oh no, you’re not going to…

            “If they can’t treat you like the conquering hero for one day, then I think an eyeful is the least you deserve,” Birdy said, grinning mischievously.

            No! If they ever find out, they’ll kill me! Shinji cried.

            Birdy ignored him and entered the woman’s bathing area. Shinji tried desperately to close his eyes, but he wasn’t able to. He remembered belatedly what Birdy had said about how when his eyes were open, so were hers. Obviously, the opposite was true as well.

            “Oh, hi!” Birdy greeted the other two ladies in the bath cheerfully as she shed her towel and stepped into the warm water. “I wasn’t expecting to see anyone else here today.”

            I hope you realize that you’re signing my death warrant here, Birdy Cephon! Shinji shouted.

            “We could say the same,” Misato replied, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the way that this new woman seemed to be surreptitiously glancing at her chest. “I didn’t think anyone else would be here because of the evacuation.”

            I can’t even imagine what Asuka will do to me if she ever finds out I’m looking through your eyes right now! Shinji continued.

            “Well, I refused to leave,” Birdy said. “I guess I’m just stubborn. What about you two?”

            “The same,” Asuka replied curtly, deciding she didn’t like the look on this new woman’s face.

            Why did you bother bonding with me to save my life if you’re just going to get me killed again? Shinji demanded.

            “Oh, okay,” Birdy said.

            She looked Asuka up and down, earning a dark scowl from the Second Child that affected her not at all, but which sent the Third Child closer still to hysteria, even as his conscience and his libido struggled over whether to commit the images he was treated to long term memory or to mark them for hasty deletion.

            Oh god! Gonna die! Gonna die! Gonna die!

            Birdy frowned. Geeze, he’s so freaked out that he’s not even enjoying this at all, she thought. With a small sigh, she leaned against the edge of the pool and closed her eyes, much to Shinji’s relief.

            How can someone who could jump into a volcano be so wishy-washy? She wondered.

            The NERV group stayed at a hotel overnight, then returned to Tokyo-3 bright and early the next morning. Almost immediately upon their return to the city, Shinji and Asuka were called into NERV for a series of post-battle tests that lasted all day. The Third Child had a sinking feeling that Dr. Akagi was especially interested in him, but when he was released with no questions once the tests were over, he decided it had to have been his imagination.

            With one day spent on homework and battling the Eighth Angel, and another on the slew of tests, this left one day before the other students of class 2-A returned from Okinawa and school began again.

            There was never any question that Birdy would finally get to go out on patrol, but had Shinji known what she had planned to do it in, he might have tried to dissuade her anyway.

            “Wow, you know, Asuka might be kind of crazy, but she has killer fashion sense,” Birdy commented appreciatively as she admired herself in the Second Child’s mirror.

            I really wish you hadn’t used the word “killer.” Shinji groaned.

            “Would you chill out?” Birdy asked. “Asuka’s gone out. She said she wouldn’t be back until this afternoon, and Misato’s at NERV. Who’s ever gonna know that I raided Asuka’s closet?”

            I don’t know, but if she ever finds out about this, I am so dead, Shinji whined.

            “Yeah, well, as you made a point of telling me about a million times, if she ever finds out that you saw what I saw at the onsen, you’re also dead,” Birdy said. “She can only kill you once, so what’s the difference between one capital offence and two?”

            There was a certain logic to this argument, the Third Child had to admit. Shinji hesitated, not immediately able to find a flaw in it.

            “So, how do I look?” Birdy asked, eager to change the subject.

            Those clothes are too small for you, Shinji said disapprovingly.

            This was true. While Birdy’s build was just slender enough for the Second Child’s clothing, she was too tall. The result was that the ivory skirt which was rather daring on Asuka was almost scandalously short on Birdy, and the sleeveless blue shirt revealed a good four or five inches of the Altarian’s flat stomach.

            “I think I look good,” Birdy said, flouncing her hair.

            Shinji sighed, knowing there was no winning this debate. Are we going to go, or are you going to stand there looking at yourself until Asuka gets back?

            “Yeah, I guess we should head out,” Birdy said, opening Asuka’s door.

            Shinji was half convinced that the Second Child would be standing there, glaring murderously and somehow aware that he was hidden inside of Birdy, but the apartment was still mercifully empty.

            “Bye, Pen-Pen!” Birdy called as she departed.

            “Wark!”

            Birdy giggled, and then she was on her way.

            Forgoing her usual method of getting around, the Altarian instead hopped a bus and was soon in the commercial district of Tokyo-3.

            “Wow, this city is really big,” Birdy said as she made her way through the press of people. “I didn’t even realize just how big until now. You really don’t get out very much, Shinji.”

            Shinji didn’t make a reply.

            Birdy ducked into a music store and began to randomly select SDAT cassettes, not even bothering to read the labels on them. She then went right up to the counter and bought the lot of them.

            What are you doing? Shinji asked.

            “I told you that you need some new music,” Birdy replied softly, though the weary looking teenager behind the desk probably wouldn’t have cared if she’d shouted her half of the conversation. “I’m not familiar with the music on this planet, but there’s got to be a winner or two in here somewhere.”

            But that’s my money you’re spending there, Shinji protested.

            “You just let it pile up in your bank account,” Birdy replied. “Really, what’s the fun in that?”

            Shinji just sighed, and Birdy left the store with a bag full of SDAT cassette tapes. After that, the Federation officer simply continued to walk around for a while until she came upon an ice cream stand.

            “Hey, Shinji, what’s a good flavor?” Birdy asked, a look of longing in her eyes. She had seen other people eating ice cream, and she’d always thought it looked delicious.

            Uh, vanilla, I guess, Shinji answered.

            Birdy walked right up to it. “One vanilla, please!” she said cheerfully.

            “One vanilla what?” asked the guy behind the counter.

            “Uh…” Birdy began to sweat.

            Small cone.

            “Small cone,” Birdy repeated.

            “Small vanilla cone, coming right up,” the man said, and moments later handed Birdy the requested item.

            “Thanks!” Birdy replied cheerfully, paying the man.

            The Altarian walked off, taking a long lick of her treat as she did so. “Wow! This is really good!” Birdy exclaimed. “One of the best human inventions I’ve encounter so far!”

            Thanks, I think, Shinji said dryly.

            “They sell tubs of this stuff at the grocery store, right Shinji?” Birdy continued. “Do you think you could pick one up?”

            I don’t see why not, Shinji replied.

            “Great!” Birdy said. “Hmm, I wish I’d gotten a large cone now, though…”

            Birdy?

            “Yes?” Birdy asked between licks.

            Do you have any actual…plan for this little patrol run? Shinji asked.

            “This is the plan,” Birdy said. “I go out, and hopefully one of Revi’s goons will come looking for me.”

            Is there any reason to believe that Revi’s people are trying to seek you out? Shinji asked.

            “No.”

            …

            “Look, it’s all I got right now, okay?” Birdy said defensively. “Geega was my only lead, and he isn’t talking.”

            So, basically, unless you get phenomenally lucky, or the criminals are looking for the cop, this is really just a trip for you to hangout downtown? Shinji asked.

            “Hey, don’t I deserve a little free time to just be me?” Birdy asked.

            Shinji was sorely tempted to answer with a resounding “No!” and remind Birdy that she’d guaranteed his painful demise twice over in the past three days. However, his better nature won out.

            Yes.

            “Wonderful!”

 Gendo Ikari didn’t like meeting with his subordinates outside of his office. Outside of his dim and cavernous workspace, people were less intimidated of him, and thus more difficult for him to control.

            However, it was often necessary, and fortunately, he had ways of controlling Ritsuko Akagi that were far more potent than mere intimidation.

            “You wanted to show me something?” he asked.

            “Yes, sir,” Ritsuko said at once, gesturing for Gendo to look at some of the readouts on her computer monitor. “For a while now, I’ve been noticing some strange readings during the Third Child’s sync tests.”

            An expression of mingled annoyance and disinterest immediately appeared in Gendo’s eyes at the mention of his son. Most people wouldn’t notice it, but Ritsuko knew how to read Gendo far better than most people.

            I’ll bet he’d be a lot more interested in what I’m saying if it was about Rei, Ritsuko thought, feeling her ire flare before regaining control of herself.

            “During the sync tests, these readings only last for a few minutes,” Ritsuko continued. “During the last battle against the Eighth Angel, however, they lasted until the Third Child left EVA, and there was a spike in their intensity when he jumped into the volcano.”

            She brought up a graph to illustrate her point, but Gendo didn’t bother examining it. “The point, Dr. Akagi?”

            “I believe that these readings indicate the presence of some kind of entity besides the Third Child and the soul of the EVA,” Ritsuko said.

            That got Gendo’s attention. “Do you believe this presence is inside the EVA or the Third Child?”

            “There’s no way for me to tell, sir,” Ritsuko answered reluctantly. “I can’t really isolate them and still get the data I need, since the test plugs must be connected to their respective EVA Units to function, and the EVA Units can only be fully activated with a pilot.”

            “I see,” Gendo said. “So, if something has invaded either Unit One or the Third Child, how do believe it happened?”

            Ritsuko held back a grimace at the way Gendo had instantly zoned in on the flaw in her hypothesis. Evangelion was a soul sucking monster, literally; it was far from impossible that it would not be content with just Yui Ikari’s soul and had absorbed someone else. However, there was no plausible way for it to do so without NERV noticing. Even if Unit One were somehow able to stealthily absorb a member of its technical crew, NERV would doubtlessly notice that person’s absence.

            Shinji, on the other hand, was often out of NERV’s sight, more than he should be, thanks to the incompetence of the average Section Two agent. Unfortunately for Ritsuko’s theory, the idea that Shinji could have somehow stolen someone’s soul was absurd.

            “I don’t know, sir,” Ritsuko admitted,

            “I see,” Gendo said. “In that case, keep an eye on these readings, and inform me if they begin to affect the Third Child’s performance.”

            “Yes, sir,” Ritsuko replied, knowing all too well that she’d been rebuffed. “Oh, and, sir…”

            But Gendo was already gone.

            Can we go now? Shinji asked. If Asuka makes it back home before we do…

            “Geeze, you really that freaked out by this, aren’t you?” Birdy said softly as she worked her way through a mall. “No, we can’t go back yet.”

            Why not?

            Birdy grinned. “I’m feeling phenomenally lucky.”

            You mean…

            She nodded. “Someone’s following us,” she said. “I just need to lure him to a nice, secluded spot before I can confront him.”

            Well, there’s a hallway down there that just leads to stores that are being renovated, Shinji said. Nobody’s down there.

            “Perfect,” Birdy said.

            She fought her way through the crowds, resisting the urge to use her Altarian strength to just shove the humans out of the way, then walked briskly down the empty hallway. Sure enough, a man in a business suit pursued her until they were both out of sight of the crowd of shoppers.

            And Birdy struck. The Altarian whirled around and rushed the man before he could hope to react, grabbing hold of his coat and slamming him roughly against a wall, evicting a grunt from him.

            “Who are you?!” she demanded. “Why are you following me?!”

            “I’m a…a talent scout,” the man gasped out.

            Birdy blinked. “Talent scout?” she asked blankly, having no idea what he was talking about.

            The man raised a hand and a business card appeared in it like a magic trick. Birdy peered at it, and Shinji saw that it indeed identified the man as a talent scout working with Banzai.

            It looks like he’s telling the truth, Shinji said. Just take the card, tell him you’ll think about it, and leave.

            “Um, apparently, I’ll think about it,” Birdy said, snatching the card from the talent scout’s hand. “Sorry about…throwing you against the wall like that. Bye!”

            With that, she rushed off before the rather stupefied talent scout could collect his wits.

            Can we go home now? Shinji asked.

            “Yeah, we can go back to the apartment,” Birdy said, disappointed over the false alarm. “Say, what is a talent scout, anyway?”

 Birdy made it back to the apartment well before either of Shinji’s flat mates did, much to his relief, and by the time the Second Child returned, he had already started working on dinner.

            “Hello, Asuka,” Shinji greeted as the German walked in. “Did you enjoy your day off?”

            “Not as much as I would have if we’d been in Okinawa,” Asuka replied. “What about you, Third?”

            “Oh, today was okay, I guess,” Shinji replied.

            “Yeah, I…hey, what’s this?” Asuka asked.

            “What’s what?” Shinji asked, turning.

            His eyes widened when he realized what the redhead was holding. He had painstakingly done everything he could to try and leave no trace of Asuka’s wardrobe having been meddled with, and he had made sure to put away the pile of SDAT tapes Birdy had purchased.

            But Birdy had just carelessly left the talent scout’s card sitting on the kitchen table, and Shinji had forgotten to throw it away.

            “Don’t tell me Banzai was scouting you, Third?” Asuka asked after examining the card for a moment.

            “Uh…” Shinji said, feeling very much like a deer trapped in the headlights.

            Tell her you ran into a guy who was giving them out, and you took one for her because you thought she might be interested, Birdy instructed.

            “There was a talent scout giving out his card at the mall today,” Shinji said at once. “I took one for you. Thought you might be interested.”

            To his surprise, Asuka smiled at him. In fact, she didn’t just smile. She positively beamed at him.

            “Baka,” she said gently, shaking her head, “I don’t have time for this sort of thing, not with school and EVA.”

            Asuka then left the kitchen, her smile never wavering. Shinji blinked dumbly after her until she disappeared into her room.

            “What just happened there?” Shinji whispered.

            Isn’t it obvious? Birdy asked.

            “No,” Shinji replied.

            By telling her you took that guy’s card for her, you were indirectly saying that you think she’s pretty enough to be a celebrity, Birdy explained.

            “I…I did?” Shinji stammered, blinking.

            Yup.

            “Wait, you told me to flirt with Asuka without telling me that you were telling me to do that?” Shinji blurted out, then frowned, not entirely sure that statement had made sense.

            Well, I thought it was pretty obvious what the hidden meaning of that gesture would be, Birdy said, sounding genuinely surprised that he hadn’t realized it.

            Shinji pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not to those of us who don’t speak Woman,” he grumbled.

 Misato returned from NERV a couple of hours later, and the three of them sat down for a relatively quiet dinner. Shinji felt like he needed it after the insane and stressful “vacation.”

            So, naturally, something had to come along to ruin the tranquility.

            “Oh, before I forget, I wanted to tell both of you something,” Misato said, just as Shinji was starting to do the dishes after their evening meal.

            “What is it, Misato?” Shinji asked.

            “I’ve been hearing on the news that there’s been a series of bizarre murders,” Misato said, worry clear in her features. “A lot of bodies have been found in the bad part of the city.”

            “How are these murders so bizarre?” Asuka asked.

            “The ages of the victims have varied from mid twenties to early forties, but when their bodies are found, they all look like they’re a hundred years old, at least,” Misato said.

            Asuka frowned. “Are you sure the cops aren’t just misidentifying these people?” she asked, incredulous.

            Misato nodded. “They’ve found ID on most of the bodies, and they’ve double checked using dental records.”

            “Mein Gott,” Asuka said softly.

            Hmm, sounds interesting, Birdy commented.

            “Oh no,” Shinji whispered.

            Come on! We know that there are extraterrestrial criminals here, and this series of crazy murders has been happening in the city. Coincidence? I think not! Birdy said. Christella Revi was a scientist before she turned to crime. I can totally see her doing experiments on humans!

            Shinji just nodded, not wanting to start up another conversation with Birdy right in front of Misato and Asuka.

            “Anyway, even though you two are younger than whoever doing this apparently like his victims, I don’t want you two to shake your Section Two details,” Misato continued. “I know it’s pitifully easy to do that but don’t. The average Section Two guy might have the brains of a rock, but they can all fight.”

            Shinji and Asuka both agreed not to ditch their bodyguards, the latter doing so somewhat reluctantly and the former just knowing that he’d be breaking his word sooner or later, thanks to Birdy and her investigation.

            He hated lying to Misato, but what else could he do? If he refused to try avoid ditching Section Two, his guardian would doubtlessly demanded to know why.

            Once he’d finished with the dishes, Shinji quickly went to his room so he could talk to Birdy without being overheard by his flat mates. “Do you really think Revi could be behind these murders?” he asked at once.

            It’s possible, and unless Geega cracks and starts talking, it’s the best we’ve got, Birdy said.

            The best you’ve got, Shinji silently corrected. Then, of course, came the inevitable counterpoint. But the sooner she gets Revi, the sooner I can get my body fixed and can be alone in my own head again.

            “What do you want to do?” Shinji asked.

            I want to go out on patrol tonight, after Misato and Asuka go to sleep, Birdy replied.

            Shinji groaned. “I need sleep, you know.”

            You can sleep while I’m on patrol, Birdy replied.

            Shinji rolled his eyes. “I can’t sleep while I know you’re looking for a fight with aliens and killer robots!”

            Then sleep in class tomorrow, Birdy said. I’m not going to turn this into a regular thing, I promise!

            Shinji scowled. “The odds of us finding anything…”

            Like I said, it’s the best we’ve got, Birdy said.

            “If we don’t find anything, we don’t do this again,” Shinji said resignedly.

            Done! Birdy agreed at once. Now all we have to do is wait for the other two to hit the hay!

            This is going to be a very long night, Shinji thought with a sigh.

            Hikawa smiled as he gazed down at his monitor, its eerie greenish glow serving as the only light source in the room.

            Would this at last be the night he perfected it? The night that he at last completed his magnum opus?

            He thought so. Of course, he always thought so, but somehow this didn’t serve to diminish his expectations by one iota. He knew he was close to success, decades upon decades of work and careful experimentation drawing tantalizingly near to producing the success that would outshine even his previous triumphs.

            The only question was whether this ultimate triumph would occur this night, or on one in the near future.

            The picture on his monitor displayed a man who was bare from the waist up, and strapped into a chair with thick leather restraints. Plastic tubes without number were connected to him all over his upper body, and each of the tubes led to a glass vial that contained a clear liquid.

            By all appearances, it might have been water or perhaps a saline solution, but it was so much more than that.

            Hikawa twisted a dial on his control panel, and the liquid in the tubes began to bubble and froth as it was rapidly fed into the test subject’s veins. The man threw his head back and screamed, a howl of utmost agony that would have rivaled the final shriek of any murder victim.

            Hikawa smiled.

            Then, the glass tubes began to break. There was no visible cause of their destruction; the things just seemed to explode of their own violation, sending their contents and shards of glass flying everywhere.

            A few such shards embedded themselves into the flesh of the test subject. He didn’t seem to notice, probably because the pain from these wounds was nothing compared to the torture he was already experiencing.

            Hikawa’s smile widened, and his breath began to quicken with excitement.

            The man’s muscles abruptly bulged, turning his very average build into one that bodybuilders would have envied. With one desperate yank, he snapped the leather restraint that trapped his right arm.

            “Yes…” Hikawa breathed.

            And then the test subject released one more scream and abruptly went silent, slouching forward limply. His flesh began to shrivel up at an incredible rate, the huge muscles that had appeared seconds ago rapidly withering away until the test subject looked like a burnt out husk of a man. His skin took on a distinctly grayish tint.

            “Damn,” Hikawa grumbled in annoyance, leaning back in his chair.

            If he didn’t perfect the current version of the serum he was working on, he’d be forced to present Revi with a lesser drug when she finally made it to Japan. He was somewhat loathe to do that, especially since none of his older versions of the serum had ever really proved themselves outside of a laboratory setting.

            Well, there was nothing to be done about it now, Hikawa decided as he summonsed a pair of his new helpers to take away the failed experiment.

            The Third Child didn’t have any idea how right he’d been about the night being long until several hours after Birdy began her new patrol. The first, timid light of pre-dawn twilight was starting to show on the horizon, and yet Birdy continued to leap from rooftop to rooftop, searching relentlessly for some sign of the mysterious serial murderer.

            Birdy, it must be at least 4:30 by now, maybe even 5 o’clock. Can’t we go back? I’d like to get some sleep before I have to go to school, Shinji begged.

            The Federation officer sighed. Shinji had been asking to go home for the past hour, at least. She was more than a little reluctant to call it a night; she was convinced that Revi was connected to the strange murders that had been happening, but she had no intention of breaking the deal she’d made with Shinji before they’d left.

            “Just a little longer,” she pleaded.

            You’ve been saying that for at least an hour now, Shinji said, yawning. Face it, Birdy, we’ll never find anything like this, even if there is something here to find.

            Birdy sighed in defeat. “All right,” she said, releasing a yawn of her own. “I guess we’ll just have to hope that Geega…hold that thought.”

            What? Shinji asked.

            “Look,” Birdy said, gazing down toward the street.

            Shinji saw a pair of men carrying what appeared to be a rolled up carpet, which was bulging strangely in the middle. If that wasn’t suspicious enough, the pair were dressed in trench coats, scarves, and fedoras. There was also something unmistakably mechanical about their movements.

            Arcezoids, Shinji said. Well I’ll be damned.

            “I knew it,” Birdy said triumphantly.

            Well? Shinji asked after a moment passed and Birdy didn’t strike. Aren’t you going to go after them?

            “Hell no,” Birdy said softly. “I wouldn’t get anything from smashing them. I have to follow them.”

            Shinji wanted to protest. If the Arcezoids weren’t close to wherever they had come from, morning could come before they reached it. However, he doubted that Birdy would walk away from an opportunity like this no matter what he said, and he was too tired to argue with her, anyway.

            Birdy tailed the Arcezoids as they deposited the body inside a dumpster, jumping from roof to roof after them as noiselessly as possible.

            “Now hopefully they’ll head back to their base,” Birdy muttered, leaning over the side of the building and peeking down at her quarry.

            Unfortunately, the Altarian underestimated how broken down the slums of Tokyo-3 were. A small piece of crumbling cement broke off under her weight and went falling to the ground below, where it shattered upon impact.

            The resulting noise seemed deafening in the early morning quiet.

            “Damn it!” Birdy hissed as the Arcezoids both looked up.

            The two robots both bent their legs and then leapt upwards, sailing far higher into the air than seemed possible. The two robots ripped off their human disguises as they soared upwards, nearing the top of the building Birdy was perched upon.

            The Altarian quickly stood up straight, backed up a few steps, and then raised her hands in a defensive stance.

            The Arcezoids sailed over the top of the building, reaching the apexes of their jumps at the exact same moment, and then smoothly came down upon the roof.

            Only to crash right through the top of the decrepit building, barely slowing down as rotten wood, cracked plaster, and old cement gave way beneath their considerable weight.

            “Well,” Birdy said, a large drop of sweat forming on the back of her head, “that was—”

            A metallic hand burst through the roof and grabbed hold of Birdy’s ankle before she could complete her sentence. The Federation officer didn’t scream as she was pulled downward into the room below.

            The Arcezoid that had grabbed Birdy slammed her down hard onto the wooden floor he was standing on, causing her nose to slam into the floor.

            “Ow! Damnit!” Birdy swore, kicking at her assailant and sending it staggering backwards several steps.

            The other robot immediately pounced, attempting to wrap its mechanical hands around her neck as she rolled over onto her back. Birdy grabbed its wrists and squeezed, evicting a squeal of buckling metal. She shoved this Arcezoid backwards as well, its hands hanging limply from its broken wrists.

            The Altarian leapt to her feet and then lashed out with a savage high kick. Her leg connected with the Arcezoid’s head, knocking it clean off of its shoulders and sending it flying into the wall, punching a hole through it. The robot fell forward, quite dead.

            The remaining Arcezoid stepped forward. Birdy smirked and motioned for the mechanical man bring it on.

            The robot charged, striking out with a punch that could shatter stone.

            Birdy caught the machine’s fist in her hand, halting it right in its path. The Altarian shook her head in disgust, sending her long hair swishing.

            Then she released a loud, wordless battle cry and fired a punch of her own right at its chest. Her fist traveled straight through the robot’s armor as though it were made of tin foil. She grabbed a handful of wires and then savagely pulled them out, snapping several of them in the process. Sparks leapt from the severed electrical lines.

            Birdy then gave the mechanical man a little push, causing it to fall backwards onto the floor.

            “Well,” she sighed, dusting her hands off, “that was a bust. Okay, Shinji, we can go back now.”

 “Dr. Hikawa,” Gomez said, barging into the man’s office.

            Hikawa barely bothered to look up from his computer. “You know, Gomez, here on Earth we have this tradition we usually perform before entering another’s room. It’s called knocking,” he commented sardonically.

            “I warned you to be more careful about disposing of your test subjects,” Gomez continued, in his usual, flat voice, “but you didn’t listen.”

            Now Hikawa did look up. “Don’t tell me the police actually found and confronted the Arcezoids,” he said, incredulous.

             “Worse,” Gomez said. “The Federation officer. Fortunately, the Arcezoids found her. They were destroyed, but at least they didn’t lead her back here.”

            Hikawa frowned. “How did the Federation officer discover them?”

            “I can only assume that she heard about how your test subjects were showing up all over that part of the city and went to investigate,” Gomez said. “You’ll have to be more cautious from now on.”

            With that, the big man departed as abruptly as he’d arrived, leaving Hikawa alone. The scientist silently leaned back in his chair.

            So, the Federation officer tried to follow the Arcezoids home…interesting, he thought, a sinister grin forming on his face.

Author’s Notes: I admit, until recently I didn’t quite realize just how many balls I’d have to juggle to make this crossover work. It was rather daunting when it really dawned on me, to the point that I wrote an outline for the next few chapters, jsut to ensure I don’t forget something important. And I’ve never written an outline for a fanfic before.

Anyway, I know a few of you have been asking for me to include stuff from Decode, but unless it makes it easier for me to keep everything flowing smoothly, I probably won’t. Too much stuff to do already.

Fans of the Birdy the Mighty OAV will notice that I’m straying from the plotline a bit more here. The reason is mostly that I didn’t like how most of the bad guys came to Birdy in the OAV, and she didn’t need to do much of any sleuthing at all. It was probably necessary to do it that way, thanks to the restraints of how short the OAV was. I don’t have those restraints, though, so Birdy’s going to need to actually go out and look for the bad guys.

As always, thanks to my readers and reviewers. Now for some fun!

Omake

Mistake

            Birdy ignored him and entered the woman’s bathing area.

            Woah… Shinji breathed as Birdy stepped inside.

            “Oh, hi!” Birdy greeted the other two ladies in the bath cheerfully as she shed her towel and stepped into the warm water. “I wasn’t expecting to see anyone else here today.”

            Oh man, this is so hot! Shinji exclaimed. Birdy Cephon, you are the greatest!

            “You’re enjoying this a little too much,” she mumbled softly.

            Shinji ignored her. Hey, could you ask Misato to jump up and down for a little while? Please?

            “Shinji…”

            Bow chicka wow wow! Shinji sang jubilantly.

            Smack!

            “Ow!” Birdy groaned, ignoring the way the other two women were staring at her as if she’d just lost her mind. “I forgot I should only do that while we’re him.”

            Ha! Shinji laughed. How do you like it?

Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is the creation of Anno and Gainax. I don’t own it, make no claims to it, and am making no profit from the fan fiction. No infringement of copyright is intended. In other words, please don’t sue.

Disclaimer: Birdy the Mighty is the creation of Masami Yuuki. I don’t own it, make no claims to it, and am making no profit from the fan fiction. No infringement of copyright is intended. In other words, please don’t sue.

Chapter Four: Experiments and Relocations

            Being a student of class 2-A in Tokyo-3 Municipal Junior High School was an exercise in trying (or not) to stay awake in spite of incredible boredom. It was sad but true.

            Really, it wasn’t the school’s fault. Thanks to the Angel attacks, the bulk of the teachers who had lived in the city had quickly packed up and left, taking advantage of being in a profession that allowed them to work just about anywhere in the country. As a result, the school had been forced to hire a retired individual to teach class 2-A, and said individual never failed to wander into reminiscence of the world prior to Second Impact.

            On the plus side, however, it meant that Shinji didn’t feel the least bit guilty about conversing with Birdy during class.

            “I don’t get why you want me to look this up,” Shinji whispered, as he went through a number of articles about the murders they now knew Revi’s people were behind on his laptop.

            I want to get an idea of how often they dump a body, Birdy answered thoughtfully. Judging from how often they’re found, I’d say about once a week. What do you think?

            “I guess,” Shinji whispered, shrugging slightly. “But why are you so interested in this?”

            I want to go out again at night, Birdy answered.

            “What?!” Shinji hissed.

            A little too loudly, it turned out. A few people turned to look at him, and the Sensei paused in his droning and looked up. “Mr. Ikari, is there something you’d like to share with the rest of the class?”

            “No, Sensei,” Shinji said contritely.

            He didn’t notice a thing when everyone found out I was a pilot and mobbed me in the middle of class, but he heard that? He thought.

            You don’t have to speak to me right now, you know. That computer has a word processing program on it, doesn’t it? Just type what you want to tell me, Birdy said.

            Nodding, Shinji took a quick look around to ensure no one was watching him, then opened the program and pretended to be dutifully taking notes on the lecture.

            Shinji typed.

            No, I promised that if we didn’t find anything, we wouldn’t do it again, Birdy replied. But we did find something.

            Shinji asked.

            Probably, but you’ll notice that the bodies haven’t stopped turning up. They haven’t even picked a new dumping ground. If they’re arrogant enough not to do that, they might be arrogant enough to not be watching too hard, Birdy said. Besides, this is still the only lead we have to go on. If Geega hasn’t talked by now, I don’t think he’s going to.

            Shinji asked.

            Nope! Birdy answered cheerfully.

            Shinji typed.

            Tomorrow night. If I’ve got the pattern right, that’s when the Arcezoids will go out to dispose of another body, Birdy replied.

            Shinji typed, not looking forward to that night at all.

            The bell rang, jolting the Sensei out of his lecture as usual. “Everyone, read chapter four in your history textbook for tomorrow,” he said. “Also, don’t forget about the parent-teacher meetings that are coming up. The school will call your home if you fail to inform your parents about them.”

            There were a few, decidedly unenthusiastic statements of agreement from the students, and then everyone began to pack up to leave. Since there were tests scheduled at NERV, Shinji joined the other two EVA pilots, and the three of them set out for headquarters.

            “Oh, hey, could we stop for a second?” Shinji asked as the trio passed a payphone. “Sorry, but I need to make a phone call.”

            “Yes,” Rei answered.

            “Yeah, I guess so,” Asuka said, checking her wristwatch. “We have time.”

            Shinji nodded and then went over to the payphone, quickly inserting his money and dialing a number before he came to his senses and stopped himself. The phone rang for a few times, and then…

            “Hello?” answered a voice that made ice seem warm by comparison.

            Shinji swallowed, feeling his willpower eroding rapidly. “H-Hello, Father. It’s me Shinji,” he replied, then felt like kicking himself.

            Who else besides Shinji would refer to Gendo as his father?

            “Yes? What is it? I’m busy,” Gendo practically growled, his tone making it crystal clear that he considered this call from his only child nothing more than a petty annoyance.

            “There’s a parent-teacher meeting,” Shinji forced out, “at school. I’m supposed to tell my—”

            “I have delegated all those responsibilities to Katsuragi,” Gendo cut him off. “Don’t bother me…this…again…”

            His father’s words dissolved into a burst of static, and then cut off entirely. Shinji frowned and looked down at the receiver.

            You know, Shinji, I really don’t get your relationship with your dad, Birdy commented, not unkindly.

            Shinji sighed. “And you think I do?” he muttered.

            The Third Child rejoined the other two pilots, who’d been standing a short distance away to allow him some privacy. “Finished?” Asuka asked.

            “Yeah,” Shinji answered, “though the call was cut off toward the end. I don’t get why…”

            Asuka waved his worry off. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

            In NERV headquarters, Misato stepped into an elevator and pressed the button for her desired floor. All was perfectly normal and mundane, until…

            “Hey!”

            The Operations Director looked up and saw Kaji sprinting toward her at top speed. “Hold the elevator!” he called.

            Keeping her face completely blank, Misato reached out and stabbed the door close button. The doors began to slide shut…Misato could taste salvation…

            And Kaji made it just in time, sticking his hand into the remaining gap between the doors and stopping them mere seconds before they shut entirely.

            Damn it, Misato thought.

            “Wow, I haven’t run that hard in a while,” Kaji panted as stepped inside. “So, what’s with the long face, sunshine?”

            “It’s nausea from having to see your face,” Misato replied snidely.

            “You wound me,” Kaji replied, in a voice that suggested just the opposite.

            The doors closed, and the elevator began to descend deeper into NERV.

            For about ten seconds. Then the car jolted to a sudden stop that nearly sent the both of them tumbling to the floor.

            Damn it, Misato thought.

            Meanwhile, all over Tokyo-3, street lights winked out, computers shut down, and everything else that required electrical power ground to a halt.

            Rei Ayanami slid her card through the reader at the Geofront access point, but nothing happened. It neither allowed her entry nor rejected her like it had when she’d attempted to use an outdated card.

            “You must be doing it wrong!” Asuka proclaimed, pushing herself forward. “Here, let me.”

            The redhead vigorously slid her own card back and forth through the reader several times, but this also failed to evict any kind of response from the machine.

            “Ugh! Stupid thing must be broken!” Asuka snarled.

            Oh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, Birdy commented. Either that or it’s just that time of the month for her.

            Shinji rolled his eyes. I thought only guys ever said that kind of thing about girls. Though, then again, she might be right…

            “We should try and contact headquarters,” Rei said. “I will attempt to use the phones here at the station.”

            Asuka huffed, clearly annoyed with Rei taking charge but got out her cell phone all the same. Shinji, figuring that there was no point in doing the same with his own phone, climbed over the barrier that their cards should have opened and began trying the doors beyond.

            “It’s dead,” Rei said after a couple of minutes, hanging up the phone.

            “Mine too,” Asuka said, snapping her cell phone shut and placing it back in her pocket.

            “None of the doors work, either,” Shinji sighed.

            Rei silently placed her bag on the ground and began to search through it. Apparently realizing what she was up to, Asuka immediately began to do the same.

            “What are you looking for?” Shinji asked, puzzled.

            “I’m looking for my emergency manual! What are you, stupid?” Asuka snapped, causing Shinji to retreat a couple of steps.

            Wow, she really is even crankier than usual, Birdy said.

            “It says that we should report to headquarters for further orders,” Rei said softly, already putting the manual away.

            “Right, but first we have to decide who’s going to be this group’s leader!” Asuka said. “And seeing as how I’m clearly the most qualified person for the job, I nominate myself. Any objections?”

            She’s less familiar with this place than either you or Rei. Say something, Birdy prompted.

            Hell no! Shinji thought in reply, even though he knew Birdy couldn’t hear it.

            “I didn’t think so. Well, let’s go!” Asuka said cheerfully, spinning on her heel.

            “Headquarters is in the other direction,” Rei said in her usual, soft voice.

            “Of course it is,” Asuka said, “I was just testing you!”

            Does she honestly believe either of you will buy that for even one second? Birdy wondered aloud.

            Shinji didn’t bother to reply, and just followed Asuka and Rei as they headed off.

            Well away from the currently powerless Tokyo-3, a group of high ranking JSSDF officers were currently gazing up at their strategic screen. It was normally a pretty dull view of a map of part of Japan, however, the rather large dot that was slowly moving across it toward Tokyo-3 made it significantly more interesting than usual.

            “What’s the word?” General Hiro asked.

            Colonel Iwanaga shook his head. “We’re unable to contact NERV or the civilian government of Tokyo-3.”

            Hiro grunted. He knew that Tokyo-3’s civilian government, in as much as one existed aside from the MAGI, consisted of a group of technicians who spent their working hours entering data into the supercomputer. He honestly wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised if that group of eggheads didn’t have the common sense to answer a ringing phone.

            That they couldn’t get in touch with anyone from NERV, though…that was reason for concern, especially with an Angel on the march.

            “Anything from central?” Iwanaga asked.

            Hiro snorted. “Those Tokyo-2 assholes? You know how they are. They always defer to us in times like these!”

            “So, what are we going to do?” Iwanaga asked.

            “If we can’t get in touch with NERV, then I guess we’ll just have to send someone to go there in person,” Hiro said.

            “Are you sure this is the right way?” Shinji asked. “It seems like we’re going up again.”

            “Of course I’m sure, Third Child!” Asuka barked. “Would you stop questioning me already?”

            The three Children were already deep within the bowels of Tokyo-3, but they seemed to keep falling short of actually making it down into the Geofront and to NERV headquarters.

            We’re going to be lost in the dark forever, Birdy proclaimed with exaggerated grimness.

            Shinji was sorely tempted to remind the Altarian (again) that he didn’t need her to provide a running commentary on his life, but he decided that wouldn’t be the smartest move at the moment. If Asuka noticed him muttering something under his breath, she’d assume it was him quietly griping about her, he had no doubt.

            The three children continued to walk through the dark corridors in silence for a few minutes, until Asuka finally spoke up.

            “So, First, I hear that you’re the Commander’s favorite,” Asuka said.

            Shinji grimaced. “Asuka, this isn’t the time for this…”

            “Oh, stuff it, Third! No one asked you!” Asuka snapped, then turned her attention back to Rei. “I’ll bet that you must get a lot of special treatment, being the favorite.”

            Rei didn’t bother to make a reply.

            “It’s all right to admit it, you know,” Asuka said.

            Rei remained silent.

            “You’re not fooling anyone,” Asuka pressed, her voice starting to mutate into a growl as her very limited patience started to run out.

            Rei abruptly turned to face Asuka, her face as blank as ever. “I am not the Commander’s favorite,” she said, “and I’m not treated any better. I know this quite well.”

            With her piece said, Rei turned and continued to walk off. Asuka, taken aback by the First Child’s odd reaction, just stood there for a few seconds.

            Then she leaned toward Shinji and whispered. “I know her type. The First Child thinks she’s better than everyone.”

            How can she say that with a straight face? Birdy wondered, making no attempt to hide her amazement.

            Shinji just did the safest thing and kept his mouth shut as he continued walking.

            While Hyuga Makoto considered Misato Katsuragi to be an incredible woman in more ways than one, the NERV technician would be the first to admit that she wasn’t perfect. No amount of infatuation could make him believe so, not when she regularly ordered him to pick up her laundry from the dry cleaners for her.

            Normally, having this task dumped on him by his superior officer was a mild annoyance, nothing more. It was certainly not enough for him to even contemplate reporting her to one of the commanders for abusing her authority, which he was fairly sure making him do her chores constituted.

            Today, however, having to pick up Misato’s laundry had resulted in him getting stuck in the middle of the city during a power outage.

            Man, I can’t imagine how this day could get any worse, Makoto thought as he walked along the currently dead monorail line.

            Suddenly, he heard the sound of a rather large propeller plane passing overhead.

            “This is the Third District JSSDF!” blared from several loudspeakers mounted on the outside of the plane. “An unidentified object has been detected moving toward this area. All residents are ordered to evacuate to the designated shelters.”

            Makoto gaped, unable to believe the timing. “Uh-oh. I gotta report this to headquarters!” he said, all too aware that the unidentified object had to be an Angel. “But how…?”

            Just then, a van with its own series of loudspeakers approached. “Vote Takahashi for mayor! He’s the candidate who stays calm even in situations like these!”

            “God bless political candidates who are too poor to buy airtime for their advertisements,” Makoto said vehemently, just before running to flag down the van.

            I think it might’ve been faster if we’d just waited at the Geofront access station for the power to come back on, Birdy commented.

            Shinji couldn’t help but silently agree with her. Asuka had taken to trying every door they came upon, seemingly certain that each one had their destination behind it. So far, she had found three doors that led to the streets of Tokyo-3 and about half a dozen doors to maintenance shafts that looked like no one had ventured into them since the excavation of the Geofront over a decade ago.

            “Uh, maybe we should try something different,” Shinji suggested timidly.

            “Stop questioning me!” Asuka snapped. “If you didn’t want me to be leader—”

            “Silence please,” Rei interrupted.

            Asuka scowled and was about to snap at Rei when she too heard what had caught the First Child’s attention.

            “Attention all NERV personnel!” shouted someone from above them. “An Angel is approaching Tokyo-3! Attention all NERV personnel! An Angel is approaching Tokyo-3!”

            “That’s Hyuga!” Asuka exclaimed. “Hey, Hyuga! Hyuga!”

            All three Children called up to the technician, but it was in vain. The sound of his voice soon faded, leaving them alone again.

            “We really need to get to headquarters,” Shinji said. “Now.”

            “Right,” Asuka nodded in agreement. “Follow me.”

            Oh boy… Birdy muttered.

            For the next several minutes, Asuka continued to lead the other two pilots through the underground tunnels, at a faster clip but with an unimproved sense of direction. It wasn’t too long before she discovered another door.

            “This has got to be the Geofront this time!” Asuka proclaimed confidently.

            She unlocked the heavy door and quickly pulled it open…only to be confronted with the sight of a huge, spider-like monster. A single, spindly leg crashed down right in front of the door Asuka had opened, with enough force to cause the ground to shake. Asuka screamed as she fell backwards, then quickly got to her feet and shut the door, panting.

            Shinji and Rei just stared at her.

            “Okay, now that I’ve visually confirmed this Angel’s presence, we can continue on!” Asuka said.

            Shinji and Rei both sweat dropped.

            Does she honestly believe either of you will buy that for even one second? Birdy wondered for the second time that day.

            Rei obviously didn’t buy it. “This way,” the First Child said, walking off.

            Asuka briefly looked like she was about to object to Rei taking charge, but then her better judgment seemed to kick in at last and she conceded to following the blue haired girl.

            “Sir!” Hyuga exclaimed as he burst into the currently dark and oppressively warm command center. “An Angel is approaching our location! We have to launch an EVA to fight it!”

            Most men would have reacted with shock, or cursed the terrible luck of having an Angel show up at such a time. Gendo Ikari, however, was not most men.

            “In that case, we must prepare to manually launch the EVA’s,” the commander of NERV proclaimed, rising from his chair.

            Fuyutski’s eyes widened. “Manually launch the EVA’s? Is that even possible?”

            “We have a diesel engine and manpower,” Gendo said. “It can be done.”

            “Yes, sir,” Fuyutski agreed, though he was still privately dubious.

            For the next half hour, all the capable hands that could be found labored to ready the Evangelions for launch, a task that could be done in mere minutes with the aid of machines. The enormously heavy entry plugs had to be moved into position, extra battery packs had to be put on to compensate for the lack of umbilical cables, and the restraints which held back the great beasts when they weren’t needed had to be eased by cutting the hydraulic lines which kept them in place. With time so pressing and the job requiring so much manpower, even Gendo himself joined the technicians down in the trenches, something that was quite without precedent.

            “Well, we’re ready,” Ritsuko said. “Now all we need are the pilots.”

            “How do we know they’ll show up?” Maya asked worriedly.

            “Don’t worry about that,” Ritsuko said confidently. “I’m sure they’ll be along—”

            A section of the nearby ventilation duct suddenly collapsed, sending Shinji and Asuka falling to the floor at the two women’s feet, where they landed in an undignified heap. Rei landed gracefully beside them a moment later.

            “—soon.” Ritsuko finished.

            “Ugh,” Shinji groaned as he got up. Once he was on his feet, he immediately turned to Ritsuko. “The EVA’s?”

            “Already on standby,” Ritsuko said, hooking a thumb toward the still sleeping giants.

            “But how?” Shinji asked, confused. “There’s no power…”

            “It was all done manually,” Ritsuko explained. “The Commander did it.”

            Shinji took a closer look through the darkness and was shocked not only to see that a group of men were opening the hatches of the entry plugs with old fashioned ropes and pulleys, but that his Father was among them.

            “My Father?” Shinji said, startled.

            “Yes, Commander Ikari believed in you, so he had the EVA’s prepped for launch,” Akagi said.

            I really don’t get your relationship with your dad, Birdy said.

            Not much later, the trio of Evangelions found themselves trapped within a side tunnel of the huge access shaft they had planned to climb up in order to reach the surface.

            Unfortunately, the plan had been rather badly derailed by the Angel, which had taken up position over the mouth of the shaft and had begun to send down deadly acid which had caused the EVA’s to lose their battery packs and rifles, as well as damn near sending them plummeting all the way to the bottom.

            Now the three of them were just…waiting there, seemingly at a loss on how to proceed.

            “What are we gonna do?” Shinji finally spoke up, unable to bear the silence any longer.

            “What are we gonna do?” Asuka echoed incredulously. “We’re gonna beat it! That’s what we’re gonna do!”

            “Okay, but how?” Shinji asked.

            The Second Child didn’t respond, and Shinji was about to call her name again, this time more forcefully. However, he halted just as he was opening his mouth when he glanced at the image of Asuka in the “FROM EVA-02” box on his HUD.

            The pilot of Unit Two looked thoughtful.

            “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do,” Asuka announced abruptly. “There will be three positions: offense, defense, and backup. Defense will head up the shaft, neutralize the Angel’s AT field, and protect the offense from the acid. Backup will head down the shaft, retrieve the rifle, and throw it up to the offense, who will then destroy the Angel.”

            “I will take the defensive position,” Rei said.

            “Sorry, First Child, but that’s my job,” Asuka said. “You’ll be backup, and Shinji will take offense.”

            “But it’s too dangerous!” Shinji protested, knowing perfectly well what ‘protecting’ the offense would entail.

            “I have to do this, Shinji,” Asuka said, steel in her voice. She grinned. “After all, I need to pay you back for what happened in the last battle.”

            She might be crazy, but she sure as hell pays her debts, Birdy observed, her tone one of somewhat reluctant admiration.

            “All right,” Asuka said, waiting until a fresh shower of acid passed. “EVA charge!”

            Unit Two leapt back into the shaft, heading upwards as quickly as Asuka could make it move. When the red behemoth was high enough, Asuka planted Unit Two’s hands and feet firmly against the walls and covered as much area with her EVA’s body as she could. She braced herself for the agony she knew was inevitable.

            Unit Zero leapt down the shaft, allowing gravity to claim it. Mere seconds before the blue giant slammed into the ground, retrorockets in the back of its legs opened up and slowed its descent. It still landed hard, but the EVA’s legs didn’t snap from the fall.

            Unit One jumped out into the shaft, fully extending its legs and pressing its feet and back into the wall, propping itself up while leaving its arms free.

            Acid spilled down from the Angel’s huge eye, splashing down onto Unit Two’s back.

            Asuka groaned in pain, tears of agony forming in the corners of her eyes as she experienced the pain of having her back burned away by chemical fire. Her display flickered as the intense pain she was experiencing began to disrupt the neural link between her and her EVA.

            But despite whatever flaws she might have, the Second Child’s will to win was like iron. Even her worst foe would never attempt to claim otherwise. Her grip on the walls never wavered.

            “Ikari!” Rei yelled as she threw up a pallet rifle.

            Shinji, to his mild surprise, caught the weapon without fumbling over it at all.

            Nice! Birdy commented.

            Caught off guard by the compliment, Shinji very nearly dropped the pallet rifle and had to scramble frantically for a few seconds to get a good grip on it again.

            Sorry, Birdy said, her wince audible. Shinji ignored her.

            “Asuka!” he shouted, even as he took up upwards. “Get out of the way!”

            Relieved beyond measure but, as always, too proud to show it, Asuka just moved Unit Two to the side. “I’m clear!”

            Shinji wasted no time pulling the trigger, sending an almost solid stream of deadly shells originally designed to fire from the main gun of modern tanks rocketing upwards. The massive rounds easily punched through the Angel’s hide and then flew out the other end.

            A moment later, the pallet rifle clicked empty, but that was all right. Above them, the Angel’s four longs legs gave out, and its spider-like form collapsed onto the street.

            It was pretty amazing, all in all, the radical shifts that the life of an EVA pilot could take at times. One day, crawling through ventilation shafts like some kind of movie spy and then fighting a giant monster with the use of giant robots. Then, no more than twenty-four hours later, doing something as mundane as looking over one’s collection of SDAT tapes.

            “Rock and roll again?” Shinji sighed.

            Hey, I like it, Birdy said. And it wouldn’t be fair if we just listened to your music all the time. I’m not exactly a fan of classical, you know.

            “I know,” Shinji said, remembering exactly how his tape collection had been recently expanded, “but does it have to be rock and roll again?”

            Either that or J-Pop, Birdy replied sweetly.

            Shinji immediately put the classic rock tape into his SDAT player and hit play. The Third Child kept the volume fairly low, however, which was about as loud as he could stand. Indeed, if he wasn’t making a (probably useless) attempt to save his energy because of the late night patrol Birdy had planned, he might have found some housework to do as an excuse not to have to endure Birdy’s taste in music.

            Birdy hummed or sang along to the songs cheerfully, while Shinji just leaned against the wall of his room and looked even more morose than usual. Then, after several minutes, the tape reached the end and began to rewind.

            Hey, Shinji, Birdy spoke up while they were waiting for it to finish. I was wondering, what does Asuka have against Rei? Did something happen between them before I showed up? Asuka seems to genuinely loath her.

            Shinji shrugged. “I don’t know. They kind of had a rocky start, and I don’t think Asuka ever liked Rei, but I never saw her show so much contempt for her before.”

            Birdy didn’t make a reply, silently mulling over the events of the previous day.

            “It’s kind of ironic,” Shinji said. “All those things Asuka accused Rei of…being the favorite and getting special treatment, I mean. I don’t think it’s really true. I thought it was for a while, but…”

            But? Birdy prompted.

            “Well, Dr. Akagi asked me to go to her apartment one time to deliver her new NERV ID card to her,” Shinji explained. “The place was a complete dump in the middle of the bad part of the city. Honestly, I’m surprised that her apartment building isn’t condemned.”

            Birdy was silent for a moment before speaking. Shinji, she finally said in a dangerous tone, why haven’t you told Asuka this by now?

            “Huh?” Shinji asked, genuinely surprised. “I don’t want to get in the middle of whatever’s going on between them. Besides, I’ll probably just make things worse if I try and interfere.”

            So you’re just going to stand back and let Asuka hate Rei based on a false assumption? Birdy demanded. Are you crazy?

            “No, I just—”

            Geeze, even leaving aside whether or not you’re morally obligated to step in and do something here, do you have any idea how dumb it is to just leave them mad at each other when they don’t have to be? Birdy demanded. If their ability to work together in battle is compromised because of this, people could die, including us!

            Shinji didn’t say anything, feeling rather like a deer trapped in the headlights.

            Shinji Ikari, you get out there and set Asuka straight! Birdy commanded.

            The Third Child didn’t even consider protesting. Instead, he turned his SDAT player off and immediately departed his room, soon finding the Second Child, who was sitting in the kitchen doing homework.

            At which point he stopped short, realizing he had no idea how exactly he was supposed to tell the fiery redhead that she’d misjudged Rei entirely.

            “What’s for dinner, Third?” Asuka asked, before he could say anything.

            “I thought we’d order a pizza, with it being just the two of us, since Misato’s stuck at NERV overnight and everything,” Shinji answered.

            Asuka, never one to object to a change from the usual Japanese food, nodded. “All right,” she said, already turning her attention back to her work.

            Shinji hesitated, still unsure how to broach the topic he wanted to discuss.

            Well? Go on! Birdy prodded.

            “Asuka,” Shinji said.

            The redhead looked up. “What is it, Third Child?”

            “Rei isn’t my father’s favorite,” Shinji blurted. “He really doesn’t treat her any better.”
            Asuka’s eyes narrowed, and Shinji had to squelch the urge to retreat at speed. “How do you know that?” she asked.

            “I’ve…I’ve been to her apartment,” he stammered.

            A furrow appeared in Asuka’s brow. “Why?”

            This was going about as well as he would have expected it to, Shinji mused.

            “I had to deliver her new security card to her. Dr. Akagi asked me to,” Shinji explained quickly.

            “Is this story going anywhere, Third?” Asuka asked.

            Come on, pull it together here, Shinji urged himself, knowing he’d be facing consequences from both Birdy and Asuka if he screwed this up.

            “Yes,” he said. “Rei’s apartment is a complete dump in the bad part of the city. If my father really lavished special treatment on her, the first thing he’d do is move her someplace else.”

            Asuka’s eyes narrowed even further. Any more and she’d just be squinting, Shinji thought, even as he tried not to wilt under her intense gaze.

            “Where does she live?” Asuka asked.

            “Huh?” Shinji blinked.

            “Her address, stupid,” Asuka growled. “Give me her address.”

            “…why do you want to know?” Shinji asked, backing up a step.

            “Just tell me,” Asuka demanded.

            Shinji quickly caved and wrote down the address for her, telling himself that if even if he balked, Asuka could probably find the information without too much difficulty anyway. There had to be NERV records she could access without too much difficulty that would tell her where Rei lived.

            “See you later, Third,” Asuka said, departing once she had the piece of paper with Rei’s address on it in hand.

            “Oh, I don’t think anything good is going to come from whatever she’s off to do,” Shinji said worriedly once Asuka was gone.

            That’s because you’re a pessimist, Birdy said dismissively. Now, what was this pizza stuff you were talking about? I’m really starting to like Earth cuisine.

            Shinji sighed and plopped down in a nearby chair. “You’re going to make us both fat if you don’t stop eating so much,” he said.

             WHAT DID YOU SAY?! Birdy shouted.

            Shinji let out a little yelp of fear and promptly fell off his chair.

            Asuka walked with long, purposeful strides through the streets of Tokyo-3, determined to see the truth of the First Child’s living conditions for herself. Determined to prove that she was right and Shinji was full of it.

            But what if he’s not? A tiny voice whispered from the back of her mind.

            Asuka shook her head. He had to be. If he wasn’t lying completely in an attempt to get her to like Ayanami, then he was probably exaggerating.

            Maybe Rei was just a complete slob, and her apartment was as messy as all hell. Shinji, chronic neat freak that he was, might well brand a place in such a state completely unlivable.

            Yes, that had to be it, Asuka assured herself.

            However, as she drew nearer to Rei’s apartment, doubts began to creep in.

            She was indeed finding herself walking into the bad part of Tokyo-3, slums left over from when it had still been Hakone, if she recalled what she’d learned about the city correctly. The buildings grew steadily older and more dilapidated, and she began to see obviously homeless people loitering about in the streets.

            Finally, when it seemed downright impossible for her to find an area that was any more broken down and depressed, she reached Rei Ayanami’s apartment building.

            “Mein Gott,” Asuka muttered to herself as she looked up at the rickety building, “how the hell can it be safe to live in a place like this?”

            Even assuming that the building didn’t threaten to fall over every time a strong gust of wind blew against it, Asuka had no doubt that a number of unsavory characters prowled this area at night. If any of them were to happen upon a defenseless teenage girl, well, Asuka didn’t even want to consider what would likely transpire.

            She has Section Two to protect her, I’m sure, Asuka thought. Then, a moment later, who the hell am I kidding? That band of idiots couldn’t protect a steak at a vegans’ convention.

            Her assumptions about the First Child rapidly crumbling but not quite shattered yet, Asuka entered the building and began to climb the stairs, heading for Rei’s apartment. She couldn’t help but notice the broken beer bottles and the used hypodermic needle which sat upon the steps.

            Surely, the inside of Rei’s apartment couldn’t be nearly this bad, Asuka thought stubbornly, not liking the idea that she’d misjudged the First Child so completely.

            She came to Rei’s door and pressed the doorbell, finding herself unsurprised when it didn’t work. The Second Child then knocked firmly.

            A moment later, the door swung open, revealing the First Child. Rei’s eyes widened in surprise by a few millimeters when she saw Asuka standing before her. “Pilot Soryu,” she greeted.

            “Hello, Ayanami,” Asuka said. “May I come in?”

            Rei hesitated for a moment, confused, but she stepped aside and allowed Asuka entry. The Second Child walked inside and looked around, an appalled expression soon appearing on her face.

            It was even worse than she had feared. The place was extremely dirty, grimy, and had little in the way of natural light coming in from its scant windows. The walls had apparently never been quite finished; they were covered in naked sheets of drywall, most of which had stains the origins of which Asuka didn’t care to guess at smeared upon them. There was little in the way of furniture, and what was present looked ugly and just plain uncomfortable. Soiled bandages, old clothes, and half used prescriptions littered the floor.

            It was, in short, the dirtiest and most desolate living space Asuka had ever seen.

            And NERV keeps an Evangelion pilot here? Asuka thought, barely able to wrap her mind around the idea that the organization she worked for would quarter one of their most valuable and irreplaceable personnel in such a miserable place.

            Shinji had been right; she had been completely wrong about Rei. The realization left a bitter taste in her mouth.

            However, the bitterness was preferable to the stab of guilt she felt when she found herself thinking back to not long after she’d arrived in Japan.

            “You! What the blazes are you doing here?” Shinji demanded as she emerged in the hallway.

            “What are you still doing here, Third Child?” Asuka countered.

            “Still doing here?” Shinji echoed.

            “Mm, you’ve been dumped for the new model,” Asuka said smugly. “Misato will be living with me from now on. That’s a much more logical choice in light of my superior abilities…although I’d much rather be living with Kaji!” she added with a dreamy look on her face.

            Gott, Asuka thought, did Shinji think he’d wind up in a place like this if he had to move out of Misato’s apartment?

            “Pilot Soryu?” Rei spoke up, pulling her out of her reverie.

            “Why do you live here, Rei?” Asuka blurted out.

            Rei blinked, not understanding why Asuka was asking such a thing, or indeed, the question itself. “It is the apartment I was assigned.”

            “By who?” Asuka demanded.

            “Commander Ikari,” Rei answered, wondering why Asuka hadn’t known as much already.

            It seemed obvious to her.

            Asuka just closed her eyes and took a deep breath in through her nose, which only made matters worse, because it made her notice the faint yet fetid smell of the place. Damn it, damn it, damn it…

            The Second Child felt guilty. She did not like feeling guilty. However, so far as Asuka Soryu was concerned, apologizing was always the option of last resort. Therefore, her course of action was clear.

            “You deserve a better place to live than this,” Asuka proclaimed abruptly. “We’re going to have a little chat with the folks in NERV’s HR department.”

            Rei blinked, hesitating while Asuka marched out of the apartment.

            “Well? What are you waiting for?” the Second Child demanded when she realized that Rei wasn’t following her. “Come on.”

            Rei gave a mental shrug and fell in step behind Asuka, deciding it would probably be simpler just to go along with her.

            The NERV human resources department was forever mired in office politics, something that wasn’t surprising, given the organization it was a part of and its place within it. However, compared to the other parts of NERV, the ones which actually dealt with killing the Angels, the HR department was very dull indeed.

            Or at least, it was normally dull. Unfortunately, the Second Child had arrived, demanding that the First Child be moved into a better apartment, making things very exciting indeed.

            “Y-You don’t understand,” stammered Director Takamora, who’d been bearing the force of a full scale verbal assault from the Second Child for nearly an hour now. “I can’t just relocate the First—”

            “Why the hell not?!” Asuka demanded. “The whole damn city’s been emptying out ever since the Angels started appearing. There are vacant apartments everywhere. If you don’t believe me, just walk down the street of any residential area and count the ‘for sale’ signs. You’ll probably see twenty of them in the first five minutes!”

            “I—”

            “And don’t you dare tell me it’s because of the expense,” Asuka ranted on. “NERV spends billions just maintaining EVA Unit Zero. Hell, I’ll bet the thing’s codpiece is worth a year’s rent, at least. It makes no sense not to shell out the money to make sure the person needed to make it work has a decent and safe place to live.”

            “It’s not that,” Takamora explained desperately. “It’s the Commander.”

            People who screwed around with the First Child in any way were often called up to the Commander’s office (better known as The Lair to the rank and file NERV personnel). Almost always, they came out with pink slips. Sometimes, according to rumor, they came out in body bags.

            “If the Commander has a problem with the First Child being moved out of the filthy hole she’s in now, he can take it up with me,” Asuka replied.

            Oh sure, easy for you to say, Takamora thought. They can’t fire or kill you.

            “You’re not actually going to fight to keep the First Child in that place, are you? It probably doesn’t have hot water!” she exclaimed, then turned to Ayanami. “Does it?”

            “The hot water works…sometimes,” Rei said softly.

            “Sometimes,” Asuka spat, turning back to Takamora. “An Evangelion pilot, tasked with defending all of mankind, only has hot running water sometimes.”

            “I can’t just relocate the First Child because you tell me to!” Takamora exclaimed, barely managing to keep his composure.

            He braced himself for another storm of anger from the German pilot, but it didn’t come. Instead, she regarded him with a very, very dangerous smile. Takamora barely held back a shiver.

            “Yes, you can,” Asuka said firmly but calmly. “And if you don’t, I’ll have no choice but to inform Captain Katsuragi about the First Child’s situation, and tell her how uncooperative you were in helping me rectify it.”

            Takamora paled. It might be rumored that Ikari killed people who interfered with the First Child, but it was a well known fact that the Operations Director got people who pissed her off too much transferred to Maintenance Team Thirteen, better known around HQ as the Unluckies, and for damn good reason.

            Once in a while, a great while, Captain Chiron, the Chief of Section Two, would have the people Katsuragi had banished to Team Thirteen transferred to his own group. He did it just to spite the woman, with whom he shared a legendary hatred of one another.

            However, Takamora knew damn well that he wasn’t Section Two material, not even by the notoriously incompetent group’s standards. He was an office worker, not a bodyguard.

            “We’ll find a new place for her by the end of the week,” Takamora said.

            “And you’ll move her into a hotel room until you get her this new apartment,” Asuka added. “And the new apartment you get her had better meet my standards, or I’ll be back.”

            Takamora nodded meekly.

            “Good,” Asuka said, much of her rage dissipating instantly. “I’m glad we got that sorted out. Please, have a NERV car sent to take Pilot Ayanami back to her apartment for her things and then to the hotel.”

            “Of course,” Takamora agreed at once.

            “Thank you,” Asuka said cheerfully, then turned to Rei. “Come on, First, let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

            Rei nodded and fell in step behind Asuka, and the two were soon striding down one of the many long corridors of NERV headquarters.

            The First Child would have been lying if she claimed to understand the Second’s recent actions. Asuka’s reasons for declaring her apartment unsatisfactory and then subsequently unleashing her wrath upon the hapless director of human resources at NERV were a complete mystery to Rei. Indeed, the pilot of Unit Zero didn’t even know how or why Asuka had originally shown up at her apartment, for that matter.

            Yet the First Child couldn’t help but feel…something as a result.

            Gratitude? Yes, I believe so, Rei mused.

            True, she might not understand the Second Child’s reasons for her actions, but the fact remained that no one had ever before fought on her behalf with so much…ferocity.

            “Pilot Soryu,” Rei spoke up, just before their paths diverged. “A…Arigato.”

            Asuka gave her a small smile. “You can call me Asuka, Rei.”

            “I can’t believe you were able to eat that much,” Shinji groaned, clutching his stomach.

            The Third Child sat before the kitchen table, upon which sat slightly more than a quarter of a large pizza and an empty bowl that had, mere minutes ago, contained a rather large amount of rocky road ice cream with whipped cream and chocolate syrup on top.

            I was hungry, all right? Birdy grumbled defensively.

            Shinji just shook his head and tried, unsuccessfully, to make his roiling stomach calm down by sheer force of will. When Birdy had asked, quite innocently, if she could eat their dinner instead of him, Shinji had foolishly agreed, and in what had seemed like the blink of an eye, the Altarian had consumed an enormous amount of food.

            “I think I’m gonna be sick,” Shinji grumbled.

            I didn’t think eating that much would do this to you, Birdy said apologetically. I thought all teenage boys were supposed to be bottomless pits.

            “I’m not exactly the average teenage boy,” Shinji said. “I’m sure Toji could’ve handled that much food, but I can’t.”

            Good point, Birdy conceded. Why don’t you go poking through the medicine cabinet? I’m sure Misato must have something for nausea, with how much she drinks.

            “That’s actually—”

            The door to the apartment suddenly slid open and Asuka entered, causing Shinji to stop speaking in mid sentence.

            “Hello, Asuka,” Shinji greeted. “Sorry I didn’t wait for you to come back before eating dinner, but you were gone longer than I expected. If you want…”

            He trailed off when he noticed that Asuka was glaring at him rather intensely.     “Asuka?” he said nervously.

            “How could you let her live like that, baka?” the Second Child demanded, with a lack of her usual volume but no less vehemence than normal.

            “What?”

            “Rei,” Asuka clarified. “You knew that Rei lived in a damned hell hole, and you didn’t do a damned thing about it!”

            “What was I supposed to do?” Shinji asked defensively. “Nobody at NERV ever listens to me.”

            Asuka released a disgusted sigh. “Mein Gott, you’re such a damned wimp, Third.”

            With that, the Second Child snatched the box containing the remainder of the pizza and stomped off toward her room. She opened the door, and was about to walk in when she suddenly hesitated and turned back to Shinji.

            “Do you want your old room back?” Asuka asked.

            Shinji blinked. “Huh?”

            “Your old room,” Asuka snapped, pointing to the area where she herself now slept. “Do you want it back?”

            As the Second Child was obviously still angry with him, Shinji didn’t trust this offer for a second. “No,” he said instantly. “Really, having the smaller room is no big deal for me. Besides, you have more stuff than I do, so you need the space.”

            Asuka nodded curtly and then disappeared into her room, shutting the door behind herself.

            Shinji sighed, his indigestion now quite forgotten. Moving almost mechanically, the Third Child got up and began to work on washing the few dishes he’d dirtied while eating dinner.

            “Birdy,” he said softly after he’d gotten the water running, “am I really that much of a wimp?”

            The Altarian hesitated for a moment before answering. Sometimes, she said reluctantly.

            “Oh,” Shinji said, his shoulder slumping.

            You’re crazy brave sometimes, too, though. And I do mean crazy, she added the last bit under her breath. But…

            “But?” Shinji prompted.

            There was this human saying I heard once, before I ran into you. It was something like ‘all that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.’ You’re a good guy, Shinji, but you sit back and just let things happen too much, Birdy said.

            Shinji didn’t reply, mulling over Birdy’s words as he dried and then put away the dishes. Once he was done, he silently made his way back to his room.

            “It’ll be a few hours before Asuka goes to bed and we can head off on your patrol,” Shinji said. “Mind if I listen to my music until then?”

            Many hours later found Birdy leaping from rooftop to rooftop in what was now the First Child’s former neighborhood, her eyes peeled for any sign of Arcezoids.

            “How are you doing, Shinji?” Birdy asked.

            The Third Child was being extremely quiet this evening, especially compared to his almost constant pleas for them to return to the apartment so he could go to bed from last time. For all Birdy knew, he could still be feeling depressed or simply on the verge of falling asleep.

            I’m fine, Shinji answered. Have you spotted something suspicious?

            “Not yet,” Birdy replied. “I’m starting to think that I might have guessed their pattern wrong, or that there just isn’t a pattern to when they dump the bodies at all.”

            It’s possible, but it isn’t quite as late as it was last time we found the Arcezoids, Shinji pointed out.

            “True,” Birdy agreed. “Still, even if…hey, look!”

            Walking on the street below them were a pair of Arcezoids in their human disguises, again transporting a body that was wrapped in a rolled up carpet.

            Wow, Revi and her goons are being really sloppy, Shinji said.

            “Tell me about it,” Birdy said as she began to follow them. “It must not be Revi herself who’s overseeing this. She’d never be this careless.”

            Well, I guess this is the break you’ve been looking for, Shinji said.

            “Here’s hoping so,” Birdy agreed.

            For about forty-five minutes, the Altarian shadowed the Arcezoids as stealthily as she was able. The pair of robots ditched the bodies, then made their way to an old, abandoned warehouse in the middle of the city’s depressed area.

            Doesn’t look much like a super villain’s lair, Shinji said as he and Birdy watched the Arcezoids enter.

            “Looks can be deceiving,” Birdy said.

            True, Shinji agreed, remembering Geega.

            Avoiding the front door in a rare act of caution, the Federation officer instead crept inside through a window. Within the neglected structure they saw rows upon rows of steel drums, along with various pieces of old heavy machinery, all of which were collecting dust and cobwebs. There was no sign of the Arcezoids, or of anyone else that didn’t belong there at all.

            Damn, I hate this spy crap, Birdy mentally groaned as she crept about the metal drums, searching for her quarry.

            It doesn’t seem like there’s anything here, Shinji said.

            “There’s something here,” Birdy replied in a whispered. “Those tin heads didn’t come in here because there’s nothing here.”

            Obviously, she thought, Revi’s headquarters wasn’t on the top floor of this place. There had to be a basement. The trick was finding it, and hopefully without alerting whatever guards were stationed on the ground floor.

            “You can come out now, Federation officer!” a male voice suddenly blared from roughly the center of the place. Strangely, the voice seemed to be coming in stereo. “I know you’re here.”

            Damn! Birdy thought, realizing that this was probably a trap she’d walked into.

            Her every instinct urged her to emerge from her hiding spot and confront her enemy head on, and if she were still alone in her own body, she probably would have done so. However, the knowledge that if she died, Shinji died with her kept her in her hiding place. If she went around, perhaps she could get the drop on whoever was there.

            Suddenly, dozens of the steel drums within the warehouse moved, pushed aside by an invisible force. Birdy found herself abruptly exposed, facing a trio of figures that stood in a large empty space located in the middle of the warehouse floor.

            Shinji released a small squeak of surprise.

            Well, there goes that plan, Birdy thought ruefully as she stood up straight.

            Of the three figures that stood before her, two were the Arcezoids she’d followed in, which had shed their disguises. Standing in between them was a humanoid being clad only in gray slacks. It had green scales covering its body, long arms like those of a Neanderthal, and long white hair that framed a vaguely reptilian face.

            “Ah, there you are!” the man’s voice was broadcasted from both Arcezoids. “I hope you’re as good as they say. I need to give my creation a proper test!”

            With that, blue tongues of electricity suddenly arced off both the robots, followed by thin trails of dark smoke. The two Arcezoids then collapsed to the ground, dead.

            “Self destruct,” Birdy muttered to herself, before turning her attention to the scaly individual. “Listen, you obviously possess psionic abilities. I’m sure you’re from a planet far away from here. Why don’t we—”

            She was cut off as a pair of steel drums were lifted off the ground by invisible hands and then went careening straight for her. The Altarian nimbly leapt out of their path, and the barrels landed harmlessly on the concrete floor. There they split open, allowing a yellowish liquid to pour out, a cloud of gas soon rising up from the chemicals.

            The reptilian creature waved a hand and growled low in its throat, and suddenly the cloud of gas moved, the toxic vapors swirling around the Federation officer.

            Birdy immediately tried to escape, but the cloud of yellow fumes just followed her whenever she went, regardless of how quickly she moved. Within seconds, the Altarian’s head had begun to swim, and she felt herself growing dizzy.

            She realized suddenly that she was on her knees. She didn’t remember falling, but she was down all the same.

            Birdy! You have to get up! Shinji urged frantically. We’re gonna die otherwise!

            She nodded, then, resisting the impulse to take a deep breath, forced herself back to her feet, despite the way her vision was swimming. With a roar, she charged forward at her opponent.

            Her psionic foe must have believed that she’d keel over before she ever touched him, because it reacted far too late, not attempting to dodge her attack until the last possible moment. Her fist slammed into its abdomen, sending it flying backwards into another cluster of barrels, many of which were toppled like bowling pins from the high speed impact.

            The gas cloud that had enveloped Birdy rapidly dissipated now that her enemy’s telekinetic hold on it was broken, and the Federation officer took several, frantic breaths, feeling relieved when her head began to clear.

            Unfortunately, the green creature wasn’t done yet. It quickly got to his feet and used his psi-powers to crack open several of the barrels that surrounded it, sending brown liquid spilling onto the floor.

            “More gas?” Birdy wondered.

            No, I don’t think so, Shinji replied.

            Then, the Third Child took a closer look at the metal drums that their enemy was ripping open and gasped in horror.

            The word “flammable” was written in large, black kanji upon the faded warning labels.

            Birdy, we have to get out of here! Shinji exclaimed. He’s going to blow this whole place sky high!

            Birdy cursed and leaped as high and as quickly as she could, heading for the nearest window, heedless of the fact that it was closed and the glass was actually intact.

            Her foe must’ve seen her trying to escape, because he suddenly sent the sharp edge of one of the barrel’s lids sliding across the concrete floor, the resulting friction soon causing a spark.

            A massive fireball instantly bloomed within the old warehouse, the force of the blast reaching Birdy in less than a second. Shinji screamed as it propelled them forward at a far greater speed than they’d already been going. Birdy crashed into the window she’d been aiming for, the glass shattering into a thousand pieces as she flew through it. The Altarian soared a good five hundred yards away from the exploding warehouse, falling very ungracefully to the sidewalk across the street from it.

            Woah, Shinji breathed as Birdy got to her feet and turned to look at the warehouse, or rather, its remains.

            The roof had been completely blown off, and all four of the walls had fallen. All that remained was a pile of burning debris.

            Suddenly, impossibly, much of the burning rubble burst outwards, flying into the air, revealing the reptilian creature. It stood in the center of the little clearing it had made, not a scratch to be found anywhere on its body.

            How did he survive that explosion? Shinji asked, shocked.

            “He must have used his psi-powers to shield him from the blast,” Birdy deduced, cracking her knuckles. “This is no ordinary criminal we’re dealing with here.”

            She charged forward, deciding that she had to take this guy down now.

            A ruined forklift flew out of the rubble, and crashed into the Altarian like a battering ram, sending her flying backwards. It landed atop her when she finally fell to the ground.

            The scaled creature smiled.

            Then the forklift began to move. The creature’s yellow eyes widened as it rose into the air, revealing the Altarian, who held it high above her head.

            With a grunt of effort, Birdy hurled the piece of equipment at her shocked foe. It crashed into the reptilian creature like an oncoming freight train, the force of the blow shattering bones and causing organs to rupture.

            “Damn,” Birdy panted, walking over to it.

            What is it? Shinji asked as they looked down upon their fallen foe.

            “I don’t know,” Birdy said. “It….it smells like a human.”

            That thing is not human, Shinji practically scoffed.

            Birdy could only shrug in reply. “It smells like one.”

            Whatever it is, it’s still breathing, Shinji pointed out. You should probably—

            The green man abruptly let out a loud howl, cutting Shinji off. Incredibly, its body seemed to begin healing itself right before their eyes, crushed limbs regaining their shape as bones and muscles knitted back together, oozing wounds sealing themselves up in seconds.

            Birdy quickly got into a battle stance as the thing lurched to its feet. However, there was no need for her to do so.

            Whatever transformation the creature was enduring didn’t cease when its wounds were repaired. Instead, the creature began to grow, parts of its body swelling grotesquely. Any symmetry it had had was soon lost; its right arm grew nearly a foot while the left remained roughly the same size. The muscles in his left shoulder expanded until they literally looked ready to explode while the other side grew at a far more modest pace.

            “Please,” the creature groaned miserably, “help me…”

            Before Birdy could do anything, however, the creature let out a piercing scream, and its body rapidly began to shrink. The scales that covered it began to fade, changing into skin, and the features of its face began to shift.

            A completely normal looking human man collapsed to the ground at Birdy’s feet, dead.

            I don’t believe it, Shinji said. He was human.

            Birdy was about to reply, but she soon heard the unmistakable sound of an approaching helicopter. She looked up and saw it just as it neared the ruins of the old warehouse.

            It was flying just too high for her to reach it by jumping, she noted as one of the doors opened, revealing a human man in dark clothing.

            “Well done, Federation officer!” he shouted down over the noise of the spinning rotors.

            Birdy and Shinji both immediately recognized his voice as the same one that had come from the Arcezoids earlier.

            “I suppose I should thank you,” Hikawa continued. “I gained a great deal of useful data from this encounter.”

            “You’re human, too!” Birdy yelled. “Why would you do this to members of your own species.”

            Hikawa laughed. “I feel I should warn you that I have no further use for you,” he said, ignoring her question. “So if you continue to try and interfere, I’ll terminate you without hesitation when next we meet. Sayonara.”

            With that, Hikawa shut the door, and the helicopter flew off into the night.

            A few days later found the mad scientist performing a far more mundane task, namely picking someone up from Tokyo-2 International Airport. Of course, while the task itself might have been ordinary, Hikawa didn’t approach it with anything resembling boredom.

            Showing disinterest to the interstellar crime boss who was helping him further his research simply wouldn’t do at all.

            He didn’t have any difficulty spotting her, despite her fairly unremarkable appearance. Christella Revi stood out due to the sheer force of her presence, and the simple, rectangular sunglasses and dark hair that was cut in such a way as to suggest she was some kind of cyber punk, not an uncommon style in Japan, could do nothing to change.

            “Miss Revi,” Hikawa greeted politely. “I hope you enjoyed your stay in Seattle.”

            He then turned and gave a small bow to Revi’s companion, a girl who appeared to be about twelve years of age with large brown eyes and short, black hair. She looked up and gave Hikawa a small smile that was so empty, it would have made Rei Ayanami at her most blank seem positively expressive in comparison.

            “Hello, Doctor,” Revi replied, as he took her bag and they began to make their way out of the airport terminal. “How goes the project?”

            “Quite well,” he answered. “My most recent test showed very promising results. There are still some problems to work out—”

            “Then fix them,” Revi cut him off, her voice quiet but as hard as steel. “I have no time for failures, Hikawa, and little patience.”

            Hikawa couldn’t help but swallow. “Of course, Miss Revi.”

Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is the creation of Anno and Gainax. I don’t own it, make no claims to it, and am making no profit from the fan fiction. No infringement of copyright is intended. In other words, please don’t sue.

Disclaimer: Birdy the Mighty is the creation of Masami Yuuki. I don’t own it, make no claims to it, and am making no profit from the fan fiction. No infringement of copyright is intended. In other words, please don’t sue.

Chapter Five: Realizations

            “I still can’t believe I fell for that,” Birdy muttered to herself as she rode on a bus bound for Tokyo-3’s commercial district. “It was such an obvious trap in hindsight.”

            A few of the other people on the bus gave the young woman who was speaking to herself, but Birdy didn’t care.

            It’s been almost a month, Birdy, Shinji said. Just let it go. It’s not like you could afford to turn down a lead like that.

            “I will if you’ll stop kicking yourself for not doing anything about Rei’s living conditions,” Birdy responded.

            Uh, all right, Shinji replied.

            Birdy nodded, suddenly cheering up. “So, since I have no current leads, I guess I might as well enjoy myself on my ‘patrol’ today.”

            Shinji sighed quietly and tried to roll his eyes. Recently, it seemed as if nearly all of his free time went to the Federation officer’s “day patrols.” His already meager social life was dwindling to almost nothing as a result.

            Still, it was rather difficult to complain; on average, they still spent more than 23 hours of every day being “him.”

            Just remember that we have to be back at the apartment by five for Misato’s promotion party, Shinji said.

            “Don’t worry, I won’t forget,” Birdy reassured him.

            And please, try not to spend too much of my money today, Shinji begged.

            “Oh, here’s my stop!” Birdy proclaimed cheerfully as the bus pulled up in front of one of the largest shopping centers in Tokyo-3.

            Shinji sighed again as she got off the bus. I’m probably going to regret saying this, but since you’re here and intent on burning through my money anyway, why don’t you at least buy some clothing for yourself? Asuka’s been complaining to me because of all the wrinkles you’re getting into her clothes. She thinks I’m not ironing them.

            “But I like Asuka’s clothes,” Birdy pouted, “besides, aren’t you afraid someone will find my wardrobe if I get one?”

            Who’s going to find your clothes? Misato and Asuka never go through my closet, and I’m the one who does all the laundry, Shinji said. And like I told you before, Asuka’s clothes are too small for you.

            “Well, we’ll see,” Birdy said.

            Translation: no, Shinji thought sourly.

            For the next two hours, Birdy cheerfully flitted from store to store, soon leaving the mall and doing some window shopping in the busy streets outside.

            “Hey, what’s that?” she asked as she spotted a cluster of people crowded around some kind of outdoor stand.

            Shinji studied the signs that were nearby for a moment. Some kind of wine tasting thing, he said. Nothing that would…Birdy, what are you doing?

            Birdy didn’t deign to answer because it was perfectly obvious what she was doing. She was getting herself a cup of the wine that was being given out at the stand.

            Stop that! Shinji exclaimed, even as she took her first sip. Y-You’re underage, and if you get us drunk—

            “Relax, Shinji, I’m not going to get drunk,” Birdy said, then took another sip. “Wow, this is really good!”

            Shinji groaned.

            Birdy took a few more sips of her free wine before either she or Shinji noticed anything off. Eventually, the Altarian stopped and looked around when the sudden silence, so out of place in this bustling commercial area, finally reached her notice.

            Birdy, what’s going on? Shinji asked, speaking in a whisper for some reason even he couldn’t have explained.

            “I don’t know,” Birdy whispered back, looking around.

            Everyone in the immediate vicinity, they noticed, was standing completely still, and wearing totally blank looks on their faces. Also, everyone nearby was holding one of the paper cups that the stand was giving away free wine in.

            Suddenly, there was a deep, ominous creaking sound from far above them. Birdy looked upwards, and her eyes widened as she saw a billboard and its metal support structure that was situated atop a nearby building starting to fall.

            Seconds later, the thing broke off the building entirely and started falling down to the earth. Birdy’s eyes immediately traced the thing’s likely path…and found a man sitting at the end of it, looking as out of it as everyone else nearby was.

            The Federation officer immediately sprang into action, sprinting toward the hapless individual at top speed. Shinji gasped sharply, realizing that even with Birdy’s amazing speed, this was going to be a close one. He didn’t protest, however.

            Birdy reached out with one arm as the man came into reach. The falling billboard seemed to be right above them, at least from Shinji’s perspective.

            The Altarian grabbed the man around the waist, holding him with one arm, and dashed away just in time to avoid the billboard. Birdy was coated with dust that billowed out from the point of the impact.

            “Whew,” Birdy breathed as she carefully set the man she’d rescued down. “That was close.”

            Shinji groaned.

            Birdy frowned. “What’s wrong?”

            If I can’t get all this dirt out of Asuka’s clothes, she’s going to kill me, Shinji said. Even worse, she might start thinking that I’m wearing them.

            “You know…you kind of are,” Birdy pointed out.

            If Shinji had been able to at the moment, he would have face faulted. Not helping…

            In a building several blocks away, Revi, Hikawa and Gomez stood near a large window, looking out at the carnage that the scientist’s serum had wrought.

            “As you can see, the amount of serum necessary to provoke significant results has been drastically reduced,” Hikawa said. “As has the time needed for it to take effect. The level of psionic power conferred to the subjects has also been slightly increased.”

            Gomez gave a grunt of disapproval. “But what do you plan to do about your recent batch of test subjects, Doctor?” he asked. “Allowing them to run loose could cause significant problems.”

            “Don’t worry. I’ve already distributed enough anti-serum to ensure they’ll all be back to normal soon,” Hikawa said smugly. “This experience will soon be like a dream to them.”

            “Very impressive,” Revi said. “You may begin mass producing the serum at once, Doctor.”

            “Thank you, Miss Revi,” Hikawa nodded and then promptly departed, eager to begin making the necessary arrangements.

            “You don’t approve, do you, Gomez?” Revi asked once he was gone.

            “No, Revi-sama,” Gomez answered. “He’s still too far from truly perfecting the serum, and he doesn’t strike me as the most reliable man to begin with. I feel that we’re moving too fast.”

            “I don’t require that his formula be perfect,” Revi replied calmly. “What he’s achieved is enough.”

            Ever loyal, Gomez just nodded. “Yes, Revi-sama.”

            About an hour later found Birdy seated atop a ledge where she had a good view of the area where the billboard had fallen. Emergency service vehicles were now clustered around the area and had already cordoned off the area around the fallen sign.

            Mercifully, the people who had all suddenly spaced out had all come back to their senses, one by one, starting a few minutes after the near disaster.

            What a terrible accident, Shinji mused.

            “This was no accident,” Birdy said darkly.

            Huh?

            “That sign was brought down by psionic power, I’m sure of it,” she said. “This was just another one of that guy’s experiments.”

            Shinji was silent for a moment, rapidly putting the pieces together in his mind. So the wine…?

            “Why do you think I went and grabbed a second cup?” Birdy asked, holding up the item in question.

            She then removed the clip from her hair and pointed it at the cup. Like Geega, it was surrounded by a sphere of black energy and then went flying off into the sky, quickly disappearing from view.

            “Hopefully they’ll be able to analyze in the Federation,” Birdy said.

            Uh, Birdy, you drank some of that. Do think that we’re going to be affected, too? Shinji asked worriedly.

            Birdy shook her head. “I don’t think so. Remember, I’m Altarian, not human. My system’s a lot more resilient to this sort of thing,” she said. “Still, if you’re that freaked out by this, we can go back to the ship and I’ll do a medical scan to make sure we’re okay.”

            Well, if we have time before the… Shinji gasped, all concerns about suddenly mutating and gaining uncontrollable psi-powers disappearing from his mind. The party! The party must’ve started a long time ago!

            Birdy winced. “Oh, that’s bad.”

            I’ll say!

            “Well, don’t worry, Shinji,” Birdy said, brightening as an idea occurred to her. “We’re going to make sure that she won’t be able to be angry at you for missing it.”

            What do you mean? How? Shinji asked.

            “Trust me,” Birdy said with a grin.

            Some time later, Shinji Ikari crept back into the Katsuragi apartment, feeling rather like someone sneaking back in well after curfew or something. There was no one in the kitchen, just the remains of the take out food that had gone with the now finished celebration. The Third Child noted with annoyance that only a very minimal effort had been made to clean up after the festivities.

            “Hello, Shinji.”

            Shinji jumped and then whirled around, coming face-to-face with his guardian. Misato gave her ward a disapproving but not angry look, which somehow made it even worse.

            “Oh, h-hello, Misato,” Shinji stammered.

            “You know, Shinji-kun, I understand that you’re not exactly a party loving type of guy,” she said, cracking open a can of beer she was carrying. “but you didn’t have to disappear for the whole day. Toji and Kensuke missed you today, and I was starting to worry.”

            And, she added silently, she had found his absence surprisingly painful, despite not having wanted the party in the first place.

            Shinji swallowed and suddenly found that he couldn’t speak.

            Birdy sighed in exasperation. Repeat after me…

            “It’s not like that at all, Misato,” Shinji said.

            One of Misato’s eyebrows went up. “Then what is it like, Shinji-kun?”

            “I wanted to get you something in honor of your promotion,” Shinji said. “I guess time just got away from me while I was looking.”

            “You got me a present?” Misato asked, surprised.

            Shinji nodded a withdrew a small, velvet box from his pocket. Wordlessly he handed it to his guardian, who quickly opened it.

            Misato gasped, her eyes widening as she took in the sight of the emerald necklace and diamond earrings. “Shinji-kun, these must have cost a fortune!” she breathed.

            Oh, they did, he thought ruefully.

            Birdy didn’t move to supply him with a line, so he instead he made use of something the Altarian had said to him a while ago. “I normally just let my NERV salary pile up in my bank account. What’s the fun in that?”

            Misato smiled radiantly at him, her brown eyes shining. Then, before he could react, she grabbed his collar and pulled him into a kiss that must’ve lasted a good twenty seconds at least.

            “Arigato, Shinji-kun,” she said once she’d released the shocked Third Child.

            Shinji tried to make a reply but found that he’d momentarily lost the ability to say words.

            “You know,” Misato mused, looking down at her new emerald necklace, “Kaji always said that green wasn’t my color, but I always thought he was wrong about that.”

            With that said, she head off toward her bedroom, leaving Shinji Ikari standing in the middle of the room, feeling very dazed, to say the least.

            Eventually, he somehow managed to navigate to his room, stumbling like a drunk man the entire way. It wasn’t until he had managed to safely plop down on his bed that Birdy spoke up again.

            Glad I suggested you get her that? She asked.

            Shinji just nodded in reply, and Birdy laughed. I bet you would’ve bought her jewelry a long time ago if you knew that would happen! More effective than diving into a volcano, eh?

            “Okay, that’s enough,” Shinji said flatly.

            Still, I have to say I’m surprised she actually locked lips with a kid half her age, Birdy continued, ignoring him.

            “So, I’ve been thinking about the case,” Shinji said, bringing up the one thing he knew would get Birdy off her present course.

            And? She asked.

            “Do you really think that some kind of drug is all it takes to make a human change like that guy we ran into in the warehouse?” Shinji asked.

            Well, yeah. What else did you think would be doing it? Birdy asked.

            Shinji had pictured all kinds of energy beams and other sci-fi devices, but he wasn’t about to confess as much to Birdy, so he just shrugged. “I was thinking, they need to be getting the chemicals for these drugs somewhere around here, unless they’re importing them from another planet or something.”

            There’s no way Revi and her goons are doing that, Birdy said. My ship’s sensors would have picked up the deliveries a long time ago.

            Shinji nodded. “So, I figure that they’re probably buying what they need from a chemical company, probably one in the city, in fact. I was thinking that if we check to see who the local chemical companies are selling their products to, and notice that there’s somebody unusual on the list of buyers…”

            Then that might lead us to Revi! Birdy finished. You’re brilliant, Shinji! How do we find out who the chemical manufacturers in Tokyo-3 are selling to?

            “Uh, I was thinking that you could use your ship’s computer to hack into the companies’ databases,” Shinji said.

            What? Shinji, my ship’s computer can’t interface with Earth computers! They’re two completely different systems, Birdy said. The Altarian had a sinking feeling that this new plan was about to go up in smoke. Isn’t there some other way to get at the information.

            “Well…” Shinji frowned slightly as he considered. “I do have access to the MAGI, and if what Dr. Akagi told me is true, then just about everything in the Tokyo-3 area is connected to it.”

            Great! Birdy cheered.

            “Hang on,” Shinji said. “I only have low level access to the MAGI. It won’t let me go rooting through private businesses’ files. There would be at least some hacking involved, and I’m terrible with computers.”

            Birdy resisted the urge to make Shinji slap himself. Stop dangling these hopes in front of me and then crushing them, she said. Do you know of anyone who does have the necessary computer skills?

            “Hmm, I’m sure the computer techs at NERV could pull it off, but none of them would ever do this for me, and I’d probably get into trouble for asking,” Shinji pondered aloud.

            Okay, can you think of anyone else? Birdy asked.

            “Maybe Kensuke could do it,” Shinji said after a moment. “Still, I don’t think even he would do this, or at least, he wouldn’t do it for nothing. It would be pretty risky.”

            Can’t you just pay him for the job? Birdy asked.

            “I could, except that between Misato’s present and your shopping sprees, I’m broke right now,” Shinji said pointedly.

            Birdy chuckled sheepishly. Well, can’t you offer him something else?

            “Like what?” Shinji asked. “I don’t have anything he wants, except an EVA Unit, and I can’t exactly give him Unit One.”

            Birdy was silent for a moment, then said. Hey, I think I have an idea…

            Shinji listened as the Altarian explained her strategy, his face going pale with horror as she did so. “No,” he said once she’d finished. “No. No way. Forget it. We are not doing that. I am putting my foot down for once, Birdy. No. Just no.”

            “Hey, Kensuke,” Shinji said, meeting the otaku on the sidelines of basketball during phys ed class, “can I talk to you for a minute?”

            “Of course you can, Shinji,” Kensuke replied cheerfully. “By the way, you missed a really great party last night! Misato was looking really hot, as usual.”

            For a moment, Shinji was half tempted to tell Kensuke about how Misato had reacted to his gift the previous night. Then the moment passed, and he remembered why he’d wanted to see Kensuke to begin with.

            “Uh, yeah, I’m sure she was,” he said. “Anyway, Ken, I was just wondering how your little photo business is going.”

            Kensuke sighed, suddenly depressed. “Not very well,” he said. “A while after I started it up, a lot of other guys from the school photography club starting taking their own pictures of Asuka and competing with me. Also, by now, pretty much everyone who wants a picture of her has one already.”

            Shinji nodded. So far, it looked like Birdy’s plan was going to work.

            Damn, he thought.

            “Kensuke,” Shinji said, holding back a grimace, “What if I told you I could get another cute girl to model for you? You think that would bring back your business?”

            Kensuke frowned in confusion. Shinji couldn’t even turn his status as an EVA pilot into success with the ladies, and yet he was claiming that he could get one to model in a photo session?

            “Who?” the otaku asked suspiciously.

            “An old friend of mine from my old home town owes me a huge favor and she’s in the city,” Shinji explained. “Her name’s Shion Arata. I think you bumped into her once. She dyes her hair pink and white.”

            Kensuke’s eyes widened. “Her? But you said that you didn’t know her when me and Toji asked you about her!”

            Shinji sheepishly turned away. “I kinda lied so you guys wouldn’t be pestering me to introduce you all the time.”

            Fortunately, Kensuke didn’t seem to mind the deception very much, his mind already racing. He doubted that he could turn pictures of Shinji’s friend into the goldmine that the photos of Asuka had been; there had been so much demand for those because Asuka actually went to their school and lots of the guys were infatuated with her.

            Still, the young woman in question was definitely hot enough that there was some money to be made, and having her actually model for him…

            “What’s the catch?” Kensuke asked suspiciously.

            Shinji winced slightly. “I need you to do some hacking for me, no questions asked,” he said.

            The bespectacled youth frowned. “Not into NERV’s systems, right?” he asked. “There’s no way I could ever hack into the MAGI.”

            “No,” Shinji shook his head. “That’s not what I want at all.”

            Kensuke bit his lower lip, considering. Shinji’s request sounded pretty shady, but this was still Shinji he was talking to; Kensuke didn’t exactly think he needed to worry about getting involved in a drug cartel or something if he accepted.

            And that girl was really hot…

            “Will she model in a bikini?” Kensuke asked.

            Shinji winced. “Yes,” he said after a second.

            “It’s a deal, then!” Kensuke exclaimed.

            Damn it, Shinji thought.

            “Okay,” the Third Child said, forcing himself to smile. “So, when—”

            He was cut off by the ringing of his cell phone. Shinji quickly removed the small item from his pocket and looked at the caller ID screen. He knew immediately that NERV had detected another Angel.

            Well, he thought, maybe if I’m lucky I won’t live through this one and this photo shoot will never happen.

            About an hour later, Shinji found himself remembering why one should always be careful about what one wished for.

            “The Tenth Angel is currently in orbit, and is nearing Tokyo-3,” Misato briefed the pilots. “For the last several hours, it’s been dropping parts of its mass to Earth, figuring out how to aim itself. The MAGI estimate that it’s going to launch a kamikaze attack on the city in the near future.”

            “How big is it?” Asuka asked at once.

            “It out masses an EVA by several orders of magnitude,” Misato answered.

            “Mein Gott,” Asuka said softly, quickly doing some rough estimates in her head. “So what’s the plan?”

            “I’ve already ordered the evacuation of the city,” Misato said. “There’s going to be some collateral damage no matter how well this goes. I want you three to intercept the Angel before it hits the ground and take out its core. That way, there will be no AT field impact, just the standard one that results from something very big hitting the ground.”

            “Intercept it?” Asuka echoed before Misato’s plan became clear. “You want us to try and catch the Angel with our hands?!”

            “That’s right,” Misato said.

            “What if the EVA’s can’t stand the impact?” Asuka demanded.

            “Then we’ll be in trouble,” Misato answered, perhaps a bit too cheerfully.

            “What if we can’t figure out where it’s going to fall?” Shinji asked.

            “Then we’ll be in trouble,” Misato repeated.

            “What are the odds of this succeeding?” Asuka asked.

            “I have no idea,” Misato said, smiling. “Not very good, I’d guess.”

            She’s insane, Birdy whispered.

            Asuka apparently agreed. “If we pull this one off it’ll be a miracle,” the Second Child grumbled.

            Misato frowned. “Miracles aren’t something that just happen,” she said sternly. “They’re something that we make happen.”

            Heavy silence hung in the air for several seconds before Misato spoke up again. “I won’t order you to do this mission,” she said. “You can refuse if you wish.”

            Back out of this, Birdy hissed. It’s a damn suicide mission!

            Shinji remained as silent as the other two pilots, much to Birdy’s displeasure.

            “I see,” Misato said. “In that case, regulations state you should have a will written up. Have you done this already?”

            “I don’t need to write a will,” Asuka scoffed. “I’m not going to die out there.”

            “There’s no point in my writing a will,” Rei said softly.

            “I’m not going to write one, either,” Shinji said.

            Misato nodded, obviously not about to enforce that particular regulation. “In that case, I want you to suit up and report to the cages in two hours,” she then brightened and added, “and after the battle’s over, I’ll treat you all to a steak dinner.”

            She’s got to be kidding, Birdy groaned.

            The Altarian was ominously silent while Shinji walked toward the changing room reserved for male EVA pilots, and the Third Child knew it was only a matter of time before the storm that was brewing inside his brain broke.

            Birdy disapproved of a lot of Misato’s practices, especially the way she was apparently fine with Shinji doing the bulk of the housework around the apartment (and indeed, probably dumped more of her own chores on him than Asuka did), but these feelings were pretty mild. However, ever since the battle at Mount Asuma, the Altarian had had nothing but contempt for Major Katsuragi.

            So he wasn’t surprised when Birdy spoke up the moment he was within the safety of his locker room.

            I can’t believe you agreed to this mission! Don’t you realize how insane it is? She demanded at once.

            “Misato obviously thinks we can do it,” Shinji pointed out, fairly confident that there were no surveillance devices within the locker room.

            Yeah, because her judgment is so great when it comes to these things, Birdy fumed. Asuka would have died back at the volcano because of Misato’s orders if you hadn’t been there to bail her out. This time, there’s nobody in reserve to bail out you three.

            “Well, I can’t back out now,” Shinji said, fervently hoping Birdy would calm down soon. “I already passed up the chance she offered us.”

            Oh yes, that. That was brilliant. I bet it’ll help her sleep at night if it gets her child soldiers killed, Birdy said scornfully.

            “Huh?”

            She knew none of you would refuse to do this. Asuka’s practically missing the “flight” part of the fight or flight response, Rei is Rei, and you could never bring yourself to abandon the two of them. I’ll bet she never would have given all of you the option of refusing this mission if she thought for one second that you would, Birdy said. Offering you an out was just a way of shifting the responsibility for taking the insane risk onto the three of you so she’ll feel better about it.

            Shinji frowned. “That’s not fair,” he protested. “You’ve seen her command less than two whole battles.”

            I saw her almost get Asuka killed by taking a stupid chance, and now she’s doing it again, Birdy retorted. What else do I have to see?

            Shinji just shook his head and pressed the button on his plug suit’s wrist, causing it to contour itself around his thin frame. “Look, I’m doing this,” he said, “and the only way you can stop me is by body snatching me.”

            He didn’t need to point out how poorly an attempt to force him out of NERV headquarters against his will was liable to go.

            Wondering what Misato had done to inspire this kind of loyalty, Birdy released a frustrated sigh. Just do one thing for me before we set out on this insane mission, okay?

            “What?” Shinji asked.

            Misato had just escaped the woman’s lavatory and her best friend, who was being rather unfriendly at the moment. Much as she didn’t want to, the Operations Director couldn’t help but wonder if she would have made a different decision if she didn’t have such personal reasons to hate the Angels.

            Whenever she really examined the question, though, it ultimately seemed rather moot. After all, she doubted that she’d be commanding these battles at all if it wasn’t for her own personal experiences during Second Impact. Besides, she did truly believe that the Children could win.

            “Misato.”

            She started slightly as she was pulled from her thoughts and turned to see Shinji standing the hallway.

            She forced a smile. “Hi, Shinji-kun,” she said. “Shouldn’t you be heading to the cages by now?”

            “There’s still time,” he said quietly. “Misato…I need to ask you something.”

            “Shoot,” she said.

            “Why do you do this?” Shinji asked. “Command the EVA’s, I mean? The job just seems…” he trailed off, unable to find a word that fit.

            Misato definitely got his meaning, however. Her pay wasn’t all that good, her hours were often long and erratic, and she had to bear a mountain of responsibility. It was a small wonder that he didn’t understand why she did it.

            He deserves to know, she decided.

            So, she told him. She told him about her dysfunctional relationship with her father, and she told him about Second Impact, about how that terrible event had exposed her father’s bravery and love for her and then taken him away immediately after. How she had nearly died in the escape pod he’d managed to get her into, and how for years afterward, she’d simply existed, not truly alive. How she felt compelled to avenge her father, even though, after all these years, she didn’t know quite what to feel for him.

            “Sometimes…sometimes I love my father so much, that I hate the Angels with every fiber of my being,” Misato said. “Other times, I remember how he was always ignoring his family, and how often it made my mother cry. Then I just want to kill the Angels so I can be free of his memory. But I always want to kill the Angels, so I guess that’s why I do this job. I hope that answered your question, Shinji.”

            “I did, Misato. Thank you,” Shinji said.

            “You should head down to the cages, then,” Misato said. “I know I should be getting to the command center.”

            He nodded. “All right.”

            “I’ll see you later, Shinji-kun,” she said, and the two parted ways.

            Shinji waited until he was sure she was out of earshot and whispered, “So?”

            Well, at least I know why she gives such crazy orders now, Birdy said, her voice now devoid of its previous fury.

            The Third Child arched an eyebrow. After the argument in the locker room, he’d expected Birdy to explode again. Instead, she sounded surprisingly…sympathetic.

            Then it hit him. It was so obvious he couldn’t believe he hadn’t realized it sooner. “You lost somebody because of Revi, didn’t you?” he asked. “That’s why you’re after her.”

            Violeen, Birdy thought sadly.

            Yes, she said.

            “I guess you’re not so different from her, then,” Shinji said.

            I don’t know about that. I’m not sure I could ever send children to fight my battles for me, Birdy said.

            “She doesn’t have much choice,” Shinji pointed out. “I’m sure she would do it if she could.”

            Yeah, but still… The Altarian paused, searching for the right words. I know I don’t have a whole lot of room to criticize her, considering that every time I go out looking for Revi, you’re in as much danger as I am. But I’ve been more careful than usual, believe it or not. I wouldn’t have been kicking myself for walking into that trap if it was just me doing it. I’ve walked into traps before and didn’t care later—hell, I’m notorious for running in swinging my fists without thinking everything through. Some people call me Birdy the Berserker! But I don’t think I could ever send kids into such dangerous battles with as much…gusto as Misato does. I don’t like it, and not just because I have to go along for the ride with you.

            Shinji just nodded. He suspected that this was probably about as good as it was going to get with Birdy on the subject of Misato, at least for the foreseeable future. However, he thought that would be okay. While Birdy might still be against Misato’s decisions, it was obvious that the Altarian couldn’t bring herself to loath the Ops Director for them any longer.

            The Third Child arrived at the cages just a few minutes later, finding Asuka and Rei already there and waiting for him.

            “What kept you, Third?” Asuka asked.

            “There was something I needed to do,” Shinji answered simply as he stepped into the elevator that would take them to their EVA Units.

            No further words were spoken as the elevator doors closed and took the three Children up toward the entry plugs of their waiting giants. They parted ways once it reached its destination, each heading for their respective EVA.

            Just before Shinji got inside, Birdy spoke up one last time. Don’t screw this up.

            Shinji almost laughed at this less than insightful piece of advice, but he soon sobered. “I won’t,” he said instead.

            I have to kill the Angel and live through this, he thought. For Birdy’s sake, and Misato’s, too.

            Soon, the three Children were inside their Evangelions, and the Evangelions themselves were positioned outside. Then the really difficult part started, namely a twenty minute wait that felt roughly ten times longer than it actually was. When Misato declared that the operation was commencing, Shinji was actually relieved.

            “Let’s move out!” Shinji shouted determinedly.

            A couple of hours found the miraculously triumphant trio of pilots and their commanding officer enjoying a victory dinner of ramen noodles at an open air stand. Asuka had turned down the promised steak dinner to both spare Misato bank account and allow Rei to be included.

            Birdy had been rather disappointed by this development; since the battle had ended and their continued survival had been assured, at least for a while, she’d been looking forward to the steak, even though she wouldn’t be able to eat it herself.

            Most of the meal was consumed in amicable silence. When they were nearly done, Rei quietly excused herself and headed for a nearby public restroom.

            Once she was out of sight, Shinji leaned over toward Asuka and whispered, “Do you know what’s with that dress?”

            After the battle was over and the Children were able to change back out of their plug suits, Rei had donned an utterly hideous, neon green dress. Even Shinji had taken notice of how terrible it was, and the Third Child knew quite well that if even he realized it, it must really be bad.

            Asuka winced slightly. “I told her she deserved a bigger wardrobe when I realized she didn’t have any clothes besides her school uniforms. She apparently went out and bought that,” she said. “I think I’m going to have to take her shopping and give her a crash course in fashion. She’ll just embarrass herself otherwise.”

            Secretly, Asuka was bizarrely comforted by Rei’s awful taste in clothing. The First Child’s initial attempts at fashion sort of made Asuka think of a toddler insisting she could dress herself and then botching the job entirely. It was very human, and thus not at all doll-like, which actually made her feel more comfortable around Rei.

            Better you help Rei with her clothes than me, Shinji thought. I’d probably just make matters worse.

            He finished the last of his noodles and then excused himself as well, heading to the men’s room.

            You’re awfully cheerful, Birdy commented, sounding rather happy herself.

            Shinji looked about, making sure he was alone in the bathroom before he answered her. “My father praised me,” he smiled, looking at his reflection in the large mirror by the sinks.

            Eh? That’s why you’re so happy? Birdy asked, surprised. She’d thought he might have been proud of himself for reaching the Angel first, or because of how things were going unusually well with the often dysfunctional group of pilots.

            “Well, yeah,” Shinji said, splashing a little cold water onto his face.

            Shinji… Birdy hesitated, briefly pondering whether this was any of her business, before she plowed forward. I’d be careful if I were you. The guy treats you like you’re just an employee of his most of the time. Just because he says “good job” doesn’t mean he plans to start acting fatherly all of a sudden.

            The Third Child just made a noncommittal noise in response. Birdy, realizing she wasn’t going to get through to him on this subject, sighed quietly and changed the subject.

            Anyway, Shinji, I finally remembered where I’ve seen things like the EVA’s before. Actually getting a good look an Angel jogged my memory, Birdy said.

            Shinji blinked. “You did? How do you know of them?”

            It’s kind of a long story, Birdy said. I’ll explain later. But I’ll tell you one thing: I think the situation is a lot more serious than I’d originally believed.

            Shinji grimaced at this ominous statement, suddenly not feeling nearly as buoyant as he had a moment ago.

            The next day found Shinji walking into a certain junkyard, a moderately sized paper bag in his hands and no sign of Section Two anywhere. The Third Child glanced nervously about for a few seconds, then climbed into an old red car.

            Almost immediately, the airlock on the side of Birdy’s ship opened up, and Shinji was sucked in. The Third Child released a cry as he was again flung onto the floor inside.

            “How do you live with this entry system?” he grumbled as he picked himself and his bag up off the floor.

            I can get in a little more gracefully than you, Birdy answered, amused.

            “Then next time, we’re being you when we have to come here. I don’t even know why it’s always me,” Shinji grumbled, finding a place on the floor to set the bag down, while shying away from the container he knew held his nearly dead body the whole time.

            “Fair enough,” Birdy said as she switched places with him.

            So, why are we here, anyway? Shinji asked. Birdy checked in with the Federation regularly, and for that they had to venture to her ship, but it wasn’t time for that yet.

             Before Birdy could offer him an answer, there was a flash of light from the holographic “tank” and the likeness of Inspector Megius appeared within it.

            “Sir,” Birdy said, straightening up.

            “Greetings, Birdy,” Megius said. “We received the sample you sent us as well as your most recent report. I’m afraid to say that it is as you feared. That drink contained a serum which induces massive mutations and incredibly fast cell regeneration. As an Altarian, you possess some natural immunity to this drug. However, humans would be extremely sensitive to this drug.”

            “Sir,” Birdy said, “as bad as that is, I believe things are a lot worse. I have reason to believe that all the components necessary for creating a Ryunka exist on this planet,” Birdy said.

            Megius, normally unflappable, actually recoiled at this news, the hologram of him blurring for a few seconds before becoming clear and sharp again. “How is that possible?” he demanded.

            “The Untouchables exist on this world, sir,” Birdy said. “The humans are at war with them. I can’t believe that this and Revi’s presence here is a coincidence. In light of this, I am requesting that you send additional officers to assist in apprehending Revi.”

            Had Inspector Megius been human, the look of surprise on his face would have been plain. He knew Birdy must be taking this new threat very seriously indeed for her to make such a request and run the risk of someone else taking down Revi.

            “I’m afraid I must deny your request,” Megius replied.

            Birdy blinked in surprise. “Why?”

            “There are negotiations underway on Altaria right now between the Federation and the Union,” Megius explained. “Hopefully, the status of the disputed border worlds will finally be agreed upon. Unfortunately, there are factions within the Union who want war to erupt and are trying to sabotage the summit. The terrorist King Zero nearly succeeded in sending a satellite crashing down into the Union embassy only three days ago. I can’t spare any officers to help you. You must apprehend Revi by yourself.”

            “I understand,” Birdy said.

            “Good,” Megius said. “One more thing. How is young Shinji doing?”

            “Just fine, sir!” Birdy answered, perhaps a bit too earnestly. “His daily life hasn’t been uninterrupted at all.”

            How can you say that with a straight face? Shinji asked, causing Birdy to wince.

            Fortunately, Megius didn’t seem to notice. “I’m glad to hear that,” he said. “Megius out.”

            The hologram faded out of existence.

            What are the Untouchables? Shinji asked at once. The Angels? And what’s this Ryunka think that you’re so afraid of?

            Birdy sighed and went over to her computer, turning it on. It booted up with remarkable speed. “Yes, the Angels are some of what are known as the Untouchables across galactic civilization,” she answered, browsing through history files.

            So what are they then? Shinji asked curiously.

            “Nobody knows for sure,” Birdy said. “All people really know for sure is that they occupy about half of the planets in known space that are naturally capable of supporting life. And that if you wind up on one of those planets somehow, you’re probably as good as dead.”

            Oh, Shinji said.

            “Yeah,” Birdy agreed. “There are theories about some kind of First Ancestral Race seeding the galaxy with life, both the Untouchables and our kind of life, but nobody’s ever been able to prove it. Ah, here it is,” she added, opening up a certain file.

            A blurry image of a massive shape orbiting a red world popped up.

            It looks just like the Tenth Angel! He said.

            “Yeah,” Birdy nodded. “Not a lot of pictures have been taken of the Untouchables, but there’s one more I think you’ll find interesting.”

            She opened another file, and a picture of a giant made seemingly of golden light appeared on the computer screen. Only its eyes and the sphere in its torso were dark.

            Shinji gasped. What is that?

            “Another one of the Untouchables,” Birdy answered. “In fact, it’s the kind that spawns others. One of their ‘queens’ if you want to think of it that way.”

            B-But it looks like…

            “An EVA,” Birdy finished. “I know. Apparently, NERV figured out some way of copying the Untouchables in order to fight them.”

            Shinji was silent for a long moment. What’s a Ryunka? He finally spoke up again. You seem pretty worried about it.

            “Ryunka’s a very old word that means ‘shapeless death,’” Birdy said grimly. “Long ago, a crazed maniac somehow obtained a weapon that could hurt the Untouchables, and he used it to force two of them into a dormant state. He brought them to a populated world and combined them somehow.”

            And what happened? Shinji asked, even though he already had a pretty good guess.

            “Every living thing on that world died,” Birdy answered, “replaced by Untouchables. It used to be a blue planet, but it turned red. Most people think from the blood of everyone who died.”

            My god… Shinji breathed. And you think Revi’s going to try and catch a couple of Angels to recreate what happened there?

            “It’s a definite possibility,” Birdy said, as she shut down her computer. “I’m sure she sees endless possibilities when she considers what she could do with a super weapon like the Ryunka.”

            We have to stop her! Shinji exclaimed.

            “No argument here. Unfortunately, we have to find her first,” she grinned suddenly. “Which means that we have an appointment to keep.”

            Shinji just groaned as Birdy went over to the paper bag he’d brought and pulled out Asuka’s red and white striped bikini.

            “Oh, yeah, that’s it, Shion!” Kensuke crowed enthusiastically, his camera clicking wildly. “Work the camera!”

            Birdy was only too happy to comply, switching from pose to pose and smiling or pouting at the camera as requested.

            They were in a makeshift studio in Kensuke’s basement. The otaku had clearly prepared for the photo shoot; he’d brought down several lights and arranged them in strategic locations, and he’d even hung a blanket on the wall so the backdrop of his pictures would be better than the old bricks that made up said wall.

            Ironically enough, the blanket had a picture of star field and two generic, sci-fi spaceships upon it.

            Kensuke’s camera ceased its wild clicking, but the boy immediately removed the film and put in a fresh roll with practiced ease. “All right, that’s it!” he said, clearly enjoying himself far too much.

            That must be the tenth roll so far, Shinji grumbled. How long does he plan on keeping you here?

            Birdy didn’t reply. Instead, the Altarian blew a kiss at Kensuke’s camera, much to his delight.

            Toji, who had been watching raptly since the photo shoot began, finally broke his silence. “So, Shion, what did Shinji do for you that you’re willing to do this for him?”

            His eyes never wandered from Birdy’s modest assets, which were practically overflowing from Asuka’s too small top, as he asked this question.

            No wonder Asuka always calls them perverts. They are! Shinji exclaimed.

            “I can’t really tell you the specifics. All I can say is that he did me a big favor. One I really needed done,” she said, her tone rather suggestive.

            Toji and Kensuke’s minds both immediately plunged into the gutter, Shinji could see it in their eyes.

            And you’re not helping, the Third Child hissed, already trying to come up with a believable but not at all lascivious story to explain why “Shion” was so deeply in his debt, knowing his friends would asking about it soon.